I am a quiet person. I often say it’s because I’m an introvert, but really I just don’t like being the centre of attention. I am more than comfortable spending time on my own. When I’m at work, and if it were possible, I would probably go my whole shift without speaking to any of my colleagues. But as my change journey continues, I’m learning to be vulnerable.
The Art of Sharing
Whether at work or out with friends, I have always been a listener. I tend to pay close attention to what people are saying so that I can retain the small details. If a colleague mentions that they’re going to try out a new restaurant, the next time I see them I’ll be sure to ask how they enjoyed it. If you mentioned that you’re now prediabetic, I’ll stop offering sugary treats and ‘pester’ you about your food choices.
Here’s the thing… As I’ve mentioned on numerous occasions, I have gone off the grid. No more social media. And it is teaching me not only how to share but what to share and, consequently, to be vulnerable. Still, people don’t need to know every detail about what’s going on our lives. And sometimes when we disappear for a period of time, what people don’t see—or don’t know—lets us show them what he did and who we became.
Be Vulnerable
During a recent group coaching call, we were split into breakout rooms. Our objective was to share how we were making things more difficult and our action plan for how we’d make those same things feel effortless. I was tempted to skip the breakout session and return when the main group reassembled. But I didn’t. Because this was what I signed up for—to push myself, to go beyond my limits, to spend more time in discomfort.
I shared how I make things difficult by always chasing perfection and being hard on myself. And my action plan to tackle that is to remind myself to focus on what I can control, and to be better about taking time to step back and recharge. By sharing, I learned that I wasn’t the only one struggling with perfection. And others liked the idea of focusing on what they can control.
I understood, as Brené Brown said, that “connection requires vulnerability and the courage to be authentic and genuine.”1
- Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transform the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. [↩]
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