Make it Work

Sometimes the biggest challenge is seeing the possibilities in the situation before you. That was how I felt upon my return to work after taking bereavement leave to mourn the passing of my partner’s mother. After eleven days away from the office, I was dreading my return. Because there was something about it that had, recently, set me off. And it took me a little time to figure out that my personal values clash with my work environment. The thing is, I cannot just up and quit (like I would have done in my twenties and early thirties). As I figure out my next steps, I need to find a way to make it work.

Bit by Bit

During the eleven days I spent in Port Colborne, I was out of my routine. As we prepared for Mrs. F’s memorial and internment, I tried to bring some stability to my day. I got up early, before everyone else, to write and read. Sometimes that meant staying up late after everyone went to bed, too. When I could, I completed a few modules of a self-development course. But other than that, my days were spent running errands and helping my partner and his brother with their mom’s memorial gathering.

While I wanted to be supportive of my partner and his family as they grieved, there were times that simply involved waiting. Instead of watching TV (I forgot just how many mind-numbing shows are out there; on a side note, is there really a need for another 90 Day Fiancé spinoff?), I pulled out a notepad and wrote. Or read Eric Thomas’s You Owe You before turning to a James Patterson novel. In the throes of an already difficult and draining situation, I tried to make it work…for my creativity.

Make it Work

I’m not where I want to be. There has been a lot happening in my life that led me to that realization. But this is where I am, and that’s the reality I must deal with. So, it’s up to me to make it work. Looking for another job is a band-aid solution for the short- to medium-term, but not long-term. It won’t address the issue smoldering underneath the surface: that my dream is to work as a full-time writer/creator.

I can think of my current job as a tool, something that can help me build, invest, and save as I pursue my creativity on the side. It’s what I do outside of work that will matter the most. Write. Publish. Repeat. Improve my book marketing skills. And as Jim Rohn wrote, “as long as you maintain patience and persistence, tenacity, there’s only one person—just one person—who will draw the line between success and failure—you.”¹ That’s why I will keep going and, no matter what, make it work.

And it’s a great day to let you know that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And, best of all, you do not need anyone’s permission to be—unapologetically—who you are.

1. Rohn, J. (2022). The Power of Ambition: Awakening the Powerful Force Within You, Shippensburg, Nightingale-Conant-Corporation., p. 204. [↩]