When life becomes challenging, your first reaction may be to quit. Quit hitting the gym. Quit making the healthy food choices. Or quit working on your dream. Because it’s the negative energy of whatever is happening that is targeting your mindset. If you’re like me, you may be asking, What’s the point? The point is, your dreams still matter. And for them to come true, it’s all up to you.
No One is Coming to Save You
Late last week, I lost it at work. After being away for ten days, which included leave for bereavement, I was pulled into a meeting with management to discuss my performance. August was a difficult month for me, which I had earlier admitted to my supervisor. I was stressed out dealing with my mild cardiomyopathy, a beloved aunt passed away, and then my partner’s mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer before also passing away three weeks later. I was upset because of the lack of humanity in the discussion, and when asked if there was anything else I wanted to address, I lost it. And I said, professionally, everything that was on my mind.
If we want to find happiness, we must commit ourselves to working hard at it, for while there is one easy step to unhappiness—doing nothing—there are no easy steps to happiness.1
Then I stewed about it for several days, to the point of making myself sick. I couldn’t turn my thoughts off. I kept replaying the discussion and other things I could have said. And I asked myself: Is this the company for me? In a moment of clarity, I reminded myself that no one was coming to save me. If I wanted a new job, to put more time in on my creative projects, or hit the running trail more, it’s all up to me. Yes, it’s all up to you to change your life.
It’s All Up to You
During my recent stretch of days off (I took an extra one because I was still angry), I became more focused. I wrote more. I stopped procrastinating on tasks I kept putting off (because I didn’t like to do them). When my body said, “Rest,” I did. Focusing on what mattered, I had time to reflect on life and the actions I could take to change it, change my life.
Because it’s all up to you, and me, to do the work required that will bring us success. I was tired last Thursday, but I went out and struggled through a 10K run, walking when necessary. As my bed cried out for me to nap, I stayed at my computer and finished writing a chapter. Aware that I may not be a good fit where I am, I dusted off my resume and submitted applications.
Yes, life is sometimes hard. But I’m determined to make it work.
And if no one has told you yet today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And, best of all, you do not need anyone’s permission to be—unapologetically—who you are.
- Ben-Shahar, T. (2007). Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, New York, McGraw-Hill, pp. 165–166. [↩]
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