Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve done something that has always been hard for me to do. I’ve slowed down. And to do that meant I had to make a meaningful attempt to cut out the noise. I’ve unsubscribed from ninety percent of the e-mail newsletters I’d signed up for, many of which went unread. I put away the self-help books I was reading or often referred to. Because I was blindly trying to improve myself without really understanding why. And instead of pushing forward willy-nilly, I had to take time to figure it out.
Letting Go
For most of my adult life, I’ve been in pursuit of something. Through my writing and running specifically, I’ve been in search of that ‘better life’ that I imagined for myself. The life that included best selling novels and setting personal best (or trying to). And attempting to do those things has often meant getting little sleep and running on empty. Since I have yet to hit a bestseller list, or set a new personal best, it’s been hard to not ask myself: What’s the point? (That’s a question I’ll come back to later.)
Perpetually feeling tired, unmotivated, and burnt out, I realized I had to let go of all the chatter that said I had to go hard all the time. I had to sidestep the [bad] advice that tells you that if you’re not willing to push through the tiredness, then you’re not committed. And when I was able to do that—let go—I was able to figure it out. Translation: I slowed down and got some rest.
What’s the Point?
It is easy to get lost in someone else’s idea of success, as I did. Yes, I bought into the hustle and grind mindset because I wanted the world to believe that I was committed to my goals. I wrote about getting up at three in the morning to write and training for a marathon on little to no sleep. I posted on social media about my writing and training sessions, and pontificated about the need to ‘go all in’ and ‘stay the course’ and ‘do the work.’
But here’s the thing: I missed the point. The point is not to prove to the world that I can become a bestselling author or run a sub 3:45:00 marathon or have one million social media followers. that would be letting my ego guide me. Life, as I work to figure it out, is about doing something meaningful that lifts other people up and lets me feel as though I’ve made a small difference in the world. I do that through my writing, and it doesn’t require me to be a bestselling author.
Figure It Out
What I appreciate now is that I’m taking time to figure it out—what I need to do to live meaningfully and intentionally. And by temporarily cutting out the noise—podcasts, self-help books, e-mail newsletters—I’m letting go of everyone else’s advice and turning within. Because I’m learning, when I can hear myself think, I know what is true (for me) and what I have to do.
It shouldn’t, and doesn’t, matter what anyone else thinks. What might have worked for them doesn’t mean it will work for you or me. The best way to get to that meaningful and intentional life is experimentation. Try something, see what happens, and maybe you’ll succeed. Maybe you’ll fail at it, but have the courage to learn the lessons it offers and try again. Because this is your life, and I encourage you to live it your way.
And in case no one has told you today, you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to be—wholly and unapologetically—who you are.
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