For the past few weeks, I’ve been off course. Intentionally. Because I needed a break. I recognized that I needed time to think, to step away from everything and gain perspective. That has allowed me to stop rushing and simply—as uncomfortable as it is—move forward into the unknown. It’s been like seeing a sign that says, ‘Detour Ahead,’ and taking it.
Out of Flow
Stepping into a new role at work, I knew that my whole routine would be—temporarily—upended. And that’s exactly what happened. Snails currently move faster than the progress I’m making on my writing. I’m not running as often, although that might be good for my right foot and heart. It’s challenging to do some things consistently with a schedule that changes from week to week. In the meantime, I’m doing what I can without being too hard on myself
This ‘detour’ has led to a period when I am out of flow, when I don’t feel like myself. Because I’m not as productive as I believe I should be. Because I’m not as active as I like to be. And when things move slower than I’d like, I get frustrated. Even when I know that some things are out of my control (like the training schedule for my new role), I still [naively] want to be in control.
Detour Ahead
Despite being out of flow and not feeling like myself, these types of detours are good for me. Because they force me to step back, and gain the perspective that I’m looking for. And that leads to some self-exploration: What am I doing well? Where do I need to pivot? Is there anything I need to stop doing?
Early next year, my schedule will stabilize. That will allow me to get back into a routine, to stay focused on what matters. In the meantime, there may be a few more detours ahead. So, I will take each day as it comes and do the best I can.
And let me remind you today that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to be—wholly and unapologetically—who you are.
Leave a Reply