Why

It isn’t always clear…getting to the heart of your why. Because maybe it isn’t even your why. Unbeknownst to you (or perhaps you do realize), you’re still trying to live up to other people’s expectations. Voluntarily or not, you’ve let go of your dreams, your ambitions, your raison d’être. And now it feels like you’re living in the shadows—you’re living everybody else’s life but your own. Welcome to my world.

Things Change

I don’t know when or how it happened, but I ended up derailed. Thrown clear off course, off purpose—taken away from who I thought I was. I’m desperate to find myself again, to get back on course. So, I tried to reinvent my morning routine. Didn’t work. I tried to better manage distractions. Didn’t work. And perhaps when I was most vulnerable, I signed up for an expensive group coaching program (that turned out not to be a good fit but offered a valuable lesson learned). Yet I’m still in the same place, still doing the same things that are holding me back. Why? Because my why still lacks meaning.

I love to write because I love to tell stories. But why? What’s my true endgame? Is it to become a bestselling author? To earn more money? To, vainly, become famous? I don’t hook on to any of those. Or at least my actions don’t reflect that they are my drivers, what motivates me. Yes, I write every day, but not like I used to. With purpose, passion, and intention.

Why

Still feeling ‘off,’ I’m focusing on understanding why I do what I do, and struggle to do what I know I should do. In time, I will figure it out. I will take the advice of Carey Lorhenz: “To achieve our most important goals, we must do three things: Get clear, be disciplined, be accountable.”¹

I’m reminding you today that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to be—wholly and unapologetically—who you are.

1. Lorhenz, C. (2023). Span of Control: Survive and Thrive in Times of Chaos and Crisis, Jaico Publishing House. [↩]