The Frying Pan or the Fire?

If I didn’t know, really know, before that change was hard, I do now. And as I’m on this change journey, it is showing me what I’m capable of and, equally, where I struggle. I’m spending more time reflecting on what it is I want, really want, before deciding on a particular course of action. Because there is always a choice, one between the frying pan or the fire.

Take the Long View

As you may know already, it was back in April that I decided that something needed to change. I needed to change, and I knew that that took courage. Because it isn’t easy to look yourself in the mirror and not necessarily like the person staring back at you. And it’s doubly hard to know that the life you’re living isn’t the one you feel you want or deserve. That then begs the question: what are you prepared to do to change it?

For me, I’ve never quite been able to mentally reconcile being a writer and working a full-time job. I tell myself I’m okay with that, but I’m not. Because I don’t feel like I’m living up to my potential, which is being squandered as I serve someone else’s dream. It explains why, over the years, I’ve bounced from job to job—waded between the frying pan and the fire. And frustrated with my current job, it’s tempting to jump into the fire. But I must take the long view.

The Frying Pan or the Fire?

If I’m not where I want to be as a writer, it’s because—beyond the actually act of writing—I haven’t done the work that others have. I’ve been too timid in advertising my work, too afraid of criticism, too concerned about not getting the marketing right or finding my ideal audience. And when you don’t do the work, those who do—and who may be less talented than you—pull ahead. So, no matter how frustrating my current job is, it would be reckless for me to leave without clarity on what my ideal job looks like as I pursue my writing. It would simply be a choice between the frying pan or the fire.

Yes, change is hard. And the only way to see it through is to, as Ryan Holiday reminds us, “Take control of your own life. […] Reject the pessimistic view that we are at the mercy of forces beyond our control. Yes, you can do something. You must.”¹ So, take control. Don’t let life be a choice between the frying pan or the fire. Instead, work to create the life you imagine for yourself, the life you believe you deserve.

And today, I want to leave you with this last thought…

You are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And, best of all, you do not need anyone’s permission to be—unapologetically—who you are.

1. Holiday, R. (2021). Courage is Calling: Fortune Favours the Brave, New York, Profile Books Ltd., p. 164. [↩]