This past Sunday, I hurriedly raced out of my condo to catch a bus. My partner’s mother, Mrs. F., who’d been diagnosed with esophagus cancer (stage 4), was just hanging on. I had been down to visit her two weeks prior, when she was still at home. And the initial diagnosis, which had given her months to live, had been downgraded to weeks. But we knew, because of the aggressiveness of the cancer, that she only had days…if she were lucky. Now, it was down to hours. And everything that happened over the course of a few short weeks was a reminder: slow down.
Don’t Rush the Process
We’re not naïve. In today’s 24/7, always-on always-available world, people are looking for instant success. The overnight kind legends are made of even though we know that that ‘overnight success’ was the result of years, maybe even decades of hard work. Showing up every day and doing what was necessary even when they didn’t feel like it. We’re told to grind, hustle, to push hard. And if you don’t take a break, then your breakthrough will come.
In order to seek one’s own direction, one must simplify the mechanics of ordinary, everyday life. – Plato
Maybe that’s true. But watching the cancer slowly take Mrs. F. away, I also know that it is important to slow down. And by slow down, I don’t mean going so slow that you lose every single day to distractions and things that don’t really matter so that after a year’s gone by you realize that you’ve done nothing. I mean it’s important to slow down to take a break every now and then. But if you’re body and mind aren’t rested, aren’t taken care of, what will your work look like? Will it be your best effort? Will it be what you hoped it would be? Don’t rush the process; you have to trust it instead.
Slow Down
Right or wrong, I used to pride myself on always going hard. Writing every day. Running every day. Learning every day. Granted, those things are important to me, and writing daily especially helps keep the momentum going, keeps me focused on my purpose. But as we prepare for Mrs. F.’s memorial service—and me being away from my day job—I have unexpectedly been ‘forced’ to rest. It’s not go, go, go. I’m not grinding, hustling, or pushing hard.
I’ve been writing, but sporadically throughout the day—late or night or early in the morning while everyone sleeps. I haven’t run (even though I brought my running gear). And like writing, I read when the house is quiet, but not getting in the lengthy sessions I might have at home. Because my focus is being there for my partner and his family. So, I’ve let myself slow down. And when life returns to ‘normal’ next week, I hope to be rested and a little more in tune with myself, my purpose, and this wonderful journey of life.
So, let me tell you today, if no one else has, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And, best of all, you do not need anyone’s permission to be—unapologetically—who you are.
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