Self-Containment

I’m an introvert. My default response is to say nothing, and I know that drives a lot of people crazy. But I have always been better in silence, more comfortable on my own than surrounded by a large group of people. That being said, I’m not afraid to lead, but it’s something that takes a lot of energy out of me. So, as an introvert, I’m learning to practice the art of self-containment.

The ‘Golden’ Rule

In my younger days, I didn’t have a filter. I said whatever came to mind because I’ve always appreciated directness over beating around the bush. But as I matured, I realized that not everyone appreciates the direct approach. And as I learned to censor myself, I also realized the importance of filtering what I say and don’t say.

I understood that most people don’t care about what I have to say. That’s not me being pessimistic. We’re so wrapped up in our lives, and glued to our phones, that taking genuine interest in others doesn’t seem to come naturally anymore. If it ever did. But the less I say, and the more I’m selective about who I say it to, there’s less risk of distortion. That’s why self-containment is the ‘golden’ rule.

Self-Containment

One of the reasons that I’ve been off social media since mid-April is because I don’t see the need to overshare my life. Life isn’t perfect, and it’s easier to show the shiny side of life on social media than the reality. Call it deflection, or subterfuge, or whatever. But it can be argued that it stops us from being who we really are.

People who are important to me know what is going on in my life—the ups and downs, the good and the ugly. And self-containment is a pathway to stillness, and a way to stay anchored to who I am.

Let me remind you today that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to be—wholly and unapologetically—who you are.