The end of 2024 is nigh. It has been a year of joys and hurt, love and loss, success and failure. There were moments that tested my resolve to remain, unapologetically, who I am and not accept others’ expectations as my own. Times when I wanted to give up as much as persevere. Through it all, the one lesson of 2024 that stands out is this: do not be afraid to start again.
Be Yourself
Over the years, I’ve read a lot of self-help books. Because I wanted to better myself, because I wanted to live the life I imagined for myself. And in all that reading, I didn’t initially see how I was losing myself to other people’s expectations and ways of thinking. It took a long time to realize that just because something worked for someone else doesn’t mean it will work for you. And just because someone else changed their life and became a mega hit doesn’t mean the same will happen for you.
It made me realize that I had to figure out what I really wanted. Was becoming a best-selling author really my goal or the only way I thought that people would consider me a successful writer? Did I need to run a third marathon in under 3:30 or was it more about seeking others’ validation? And did I have to be on social media to succeed or was it the fear of missing out that kept me glued to my phone? Figuring out what I wanted, I realized it was okay, more than okay, to start again.
Off the Grid
One of the biggest challenges I faced in 2024 was staying focused. There were moments when I could tune out all the distractions and focus on what mattered. There were, unfortunately, more occasions when the distractions won out, ruling me and the day. In part because I kept chasing goals that weren’t my own. Like climbing the corporate ladder (which I did successfully, landing a promotion). Or joining an expensive coaching program (which turned out not to be a great fit).
That was why, in mid-April, I went off the grid. I logged out of all my social media accounts. Stopped listening to podcasts. Curbed my reading of self-help books. Streamed a lot less TV shows and movies. I needed stillness, to hear myself think, and to get back to myself in order to start again. Cutting out the noise reduced the sense of overwhelm, and let me see that I had lost sight of my vision.
Start Again
Start again doesn’t mean throwing out everything in my life that isn’t working and beginning from scratch. It means, for me, having an honest conversation with myself about if I’m actually focused on the things I tell myself matter the most. Because if I’m not, it means getting rid of the things that are holding me back from them. It means, no matter how painful—no matter how many times I must start again—creating the good habits that will keep me focused on what matters.
It is my hope that 2025 will be different than 2024. A year of growth, opportunity, self-discovery and self-love. A year of self-mastery. But as I learned in 2024, change isn’t just hard, it’s painful. And sometimes, as Mark Manson counsels, you must “destroy that part of yourself you’ve always wanted to do away with, no matter how painful.”1
For the last time in 2024, I’m reminding you today that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to be—wholly and unapologetically—who you are.
- https://markmanson.net/breakthrough/107-why-you-must-destroy-yourself [↩]
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