The past ten months have taught me a powerful lesson: change is hard. Even if you committed to doing what was necessary—what you knew would make a difference—a bad decision can change everything. It sends you back to your comfort zone, back to the bad habits that keep you stuck. And it’s not, then, that change is hard, but that it also feels impossible. Until you realize that the obstacle is the way.1
You Have the Power
Lately, overwhelm has ruled the day, and I let that take away my power. While I’m still working for the company I joined back in August 2023, I’m in a new, more challenging and demanding role. The workday is busy, at times chaotic, as I’m still officially in training. Some things, however, about the job haven’t changed. The daily three-hour commute (round-trip). Working a late-night shift and still, as a morning person, waking up early. A less than perfect work-life balance. Constantly feeling exhausted and off my game.
“The greatest empire is command of yourself.” – Seneca
That overwhelm sent me tumbling as I found myself, in a new position and still navigating my way, having project after project assigned to me. It broke me. Exhausted, unsupported, and frustrated, I submitted my resignation. As I told management, I had “nothing more to give.”2 Because I didn’t realize then that I was the obstacle. I needed to embrace the Let Them Theory, which “helps you not only accept reality but also separate yourself from the need to change it.”3 I had to take back my power.
The Obstacle is the Teacher
I have spent my life in pursuit of perfection, and it has come with a cost. Even though I know better, I set unrealistic expectations for myself. Because I don’t want to be mediocre. I don’t want to blend into the crowd. So, when life doesn’t go as planned—or as I think it should—I can’t deal with the perceived imperfection that follows. And it’s never easy to understand, as Ryan Holiday reminds us in his book, The Obstacle is the Way, that “just because your mind tells you that something is awful or evil or unplanned or otherwise negative doesn’t mean you have to agree.”4
And so, I find myself today back at the beginning as I strive to live the vision I have for my life. And to do that, I must focus on what I can control. It means focusing on myself because, after all, that is where my true power lies. And if there appears, at any time, an obstacle on that path, it’ll be easy to name: me. Because I must let other people believe, do, say, and think what they will. My responsibility is to manage how I react and create the life I want.
It is my duty to remind you today that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to be—wholly and unapologetically—who you are.
- Holiday, R. (2014, 2024). The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph, Portfolio/Penguin. [↩]
- After several discussions with management, I withdrew my resignation. [↩]
- Robbins, M. (2020). The Let Them Theory, New York, Hay House LLC, p. 38. [↩]
- Holiday, R. (2014, 2024). p. 24. [↩]
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