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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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Social Media: A Love-Hate Relationship

June 19, 2023 by Marcus Leave a Comment

social media

Just over three months ago, I stepped back from social media. I’d left Twitter before that, but realized I needed a cleaner break. I didn’t just deactivate my active accounts. Where I could (Instagram and LinkedIn; I’ll get to Facebook), I deleted them. And when it came to Instagram, I was even more intentional. I deleted every post, removed every follower, and unfollowed everyone I’d been following. Because I knew I would eventually return to social media, but I didn’t want to just pick up where I left off. I wanted to start over with a new approach.

When it came to Facebook, I opted to deactivate my fan page. The problem with that was that it had to remain active if I still wanted to use Facebook Ads, which I did. My only option then was to go radio silent.

The Dilemma

Let me be honest. Apart from the likes and odd comments my posts received, I’d wondered for a long time if being on social media mattered [to me]. And if it did, or didn’t, it was never clear in my mind about why I was on social media. As a writer/creative, was I hoping to sell more books? Was I hoping to inspire other creatives? Showcase my talents? Hope that something would go viral? Admittedly, yes. To all of that on some level. But it never felt, to a certain degree, genuine because I didn’t feel like it accurately reflected who I am.

As a result, managing my social media accounts left me feeling overwhelmed. I struggled to create and post content while working a full-time job and write. And then social media content creation took precedence over my creative writing…because I allowed it to. I’d forgotten who I was.

This is Who I Am

I am a writer. But that is only one part of my identity. And when it comes to social media, common practice is to create different accounts for different niches. I tried that. I am an avid runner (and I’m currently training for the TCS Waterfront Marathon in October), and a foodie. So, I had created separate Instagram accounts for writing, running, and food. And then I had to manage them, which I did poorly on top of everything I was trying to do.

But writing, running, food, and a host of other interests are what makes me Marcus Lopes. It seems counter-intuitive for me to separate them out on social media. When I do that, I’m providing snippets of who I am. No one gets to see the whole me, to truly understand who I am. My writing, running, my interest in food—everything—is connected. Everything I do, everything I am, is reflected in, and influences, my writing.

In the Absence of Social Media

Stepping back from social media reminded me of who I am, and what is important in my life. My intention wasn’t to quit social media permanently, but to anchor myself—to focus on deep work and to become indistractable. I wanted to embrace, as Nir Eyal explains in his book, Indistractable, being indistractable: “striving to do what you say you will do.”1

Here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s social media, streaming services like Netflix or Disney+, video games, junk food or any other distraction. Getting rid of them isn’t going to make me happy, or eliminate a procrastination habit, or let me be my best self. As Eyal reminds us, our responsibility is to manage them.

A ‘New’ Approach

Coming back to social media, I’ll be using it with stricter boundaries that I’m setting for myself—when I use it, how I use it, and for how long I use it. Instagram, and to a lesser extent Facebook, will be my platforms of choice. And on Instagram especially, I’m not going to create silos. As I mentioned earlier, I’m a writer, runner, and blogger who loves to bake. So, if you follow me there, you’ll get to know all of me. I’ll share what I’m working on as a writer, how I’m progressing (or struggling) with my marathon training, my latest blog articles, and occasionally what I’m baking.

So, I’m back. And I’m looking forward to getting to know you…again.

  1. Eyal, N. (2019). Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, Dallas, BenBella, p.15. [↩]

Filed Under: Motivation, The Relentless Writer Series, Writing Life Tagged With: inspiration, motivation, relentless writer, social media, writing life

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