In the few short days that I have been off social media, I have already noticed a shift. I don’t feel overwhelmed. Because I’m no longer trying to do things that aren’t important to me. I’m not rushing in the morning to record, edit, or post videos for social media—or worrying about their possible virality. I’m also not scrambling to squeeze in some writing time, or wondering if I can get out for a run or to the gym. Instead, I am focused on doing the things that matter. But I need to share with you the hardest part of change…
Change Your Mindset
Yes, in a few short days I’ve made progress. I’ve been pushing myself hard between my running and gym workouts, my legs burning as I’m back to climbing the six flights of stairs to my office floor. I finished the read-through of a novella and am now head deep in the rewrite. Another writing project, that I spend alternate days working on, had stalled but it is moving forward, too.
Yet even with these small wins, the hardest part of change remains changing my mindset. I don’t expect my mindset to change overnight, because I have years, if not decades, of programming to undo. The stories I’ve told myself about not being worthy or good enough, and the healing I need to do from the years of self-doubt and self-flagellation. It’s hard to let go, to rewire the brain. But it’s not impossible. And working to change my mindset will help me see the possibility of moving from where I am to where I want to go.
You’ve Gotta Make it Happen
Social media wasn’t the only reason that I’d felt stuck. There were other distractions too, like Prime Video, Tubi, Amazon, and perhaps an unhealthy addiction to self-help books. When it came to the latter, I was always looking for the latest strategy or hack to be more productive. And while I amassed a lot of knowledge, an honest assessment of myself revealed that I was slow to take action, if at all. And that led to overwhelm.
While, for me, changing my mindset is one of the hardest things about change, something else that is equally as challenging is being able to see how you can go from where you are to where you want to be. In Part II of her recent online training, “Make it Happen,” Mel Robbins puts it succinctly: “There is a path between where you are and where you want to go. And that path is laid by tiny actions.”1
The Hardest Part of Change
As I mentioned above, I’ve had to deal with a lot of self-doubt and self-flagellation as I pursued my dreams. When you constantly doubt yourself, like I did, it’s not only hard to change your mindset, but it can also seem impossible to make anything happen. In my case, I couldn’t break the bad habits that were holding back me and my dreams.
So, maybe I got it wrong. And that changing your mindset isn’t the hardest part of change. It’s taking action. Being willing to just begin. To spend even just fifteen minutes working on your novel. Or researching your business idea. For me, it’s been taking that step, day after day, to focus on building the good habits that will, if repeated regularly, displace the bad ones. As Ryan Holiday writes in Discipline is Destiny: “Whatever the bad habit is, whatever seems to be ruling your life—socially acceptable or not—you have to quit. Whether it’s cold turkey or with help, you’ve got to get off the stuff—whatever it is.”2
If you want to change yourself or your life, there’s only one sure way to do it.
Take action today.
- https://www.melrobbins.com/make-it-happen-training-videos?utm_campaign=April+16th+Make+It+Happen+2+Delivery&utm_content=MIH+Training+2+Delivery&utm_medium=email_action&utm_source=customer.io#Video-2-Watch [↩]
- Holiday, R. (2022). Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self Control, New York, Portfolio/Penguin, p. 33. [↩]
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