A couple weeks ago, I requested to switch from the evening to the overnight shift. The last time I worked an overnight shift was more than four years ago, at the start of the pandemic, after my last flight to London (UK). My biggest challenge is not staying up all night as much as trying to get adequate sleep when I get home. At the moment, I’m averaging about four hours of sleep. Some would say that that’s not enough, but I’m working with it. And as I continue to pursue my goals, there’s an important takeaway: don’t be too hard on yourself.
Do What You Can
On my new shift, I’ve had to rework my routine. I still write my Morning Pages first thing in the morning, only now I do it during the train ride home. When I wake up, I have my water and brew a coffee, and then settle in to write (I’m trying to figure out how to work in a stretching session). After that, I either go to the gym or get out for a run. Then it’s time to make dinner and, hopefully, get in another writing session before prepping for work. And on the train ride to work late in the evening, that is when I read.
Yes, you have to do what you can. Because there have been days when the fatigue has caught up to me, and doing anything feels impossible. It takes longer to write a paragraph. The run feels harder. Or my eyelids droop while reading, and the words on the page start to blur. Even though I’m doing what I can, I get frustrated on those days when things don’t go as planned. That’s when I try to remind myself: don’t be too hard on yourself, Marcus.
Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself
I know that the actions I take today impact the future I’m working to create for myself. And because I’m working to change me and my life, I know that most days I need to show up no matter how I feel. When I feel like I don’t have anything left, I need to put in one more rep in the gym. When I feel like giving up, I need to keep writing instead on firing up Prime Video.
There must be more days when I am doing the work, but I also realize that there will be other days when I will struggle. That doesn’t mean that I will give up, it just means that I must give myself the grace to do better the next time—resist that temptation to slide back into those habits that stall me and my life. Resist going back to what is comfortable and then, consequently, letting my dreams die.
On those days we struggle, we again remind ourselves: don’t be too hard on yourself. And the next day, we get up and try again.
Let me, then, leave you today with this last thought…
You are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And, best of all, you do not need anyone’s permission to be—unapologetically—who you are.
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