Change What You Can

For most of my adult life I’ve been a perfectionist. It started in university, when I found my academic groove, and wanted to excel at everything. When I didn’t get an A, I was devastated. I competed against myself to always do better on the next assignment or exam. After university, I sought to be the best in whatever role I took on, and that (in hindsight) created some tensions with my coworkers. And since my mid-thirties, I’ve been committed to growing and improving in all areas of my life. It took a long time to understand what I consider the most important ‘truth’ of self-development: change what you can.

The Rabbit Hole of Self-Improvement

I love to learn, and that is why I am always reading or listening to podcasts. Every day I’m eager to soak up more information that can help me become better, more productive, and create the life I imagine for myself. The latest book that I’ve read is Jim Rohn’s The Power of Ambition: Awakening the Powerful Force Within You. And like most books, I read them two or three times to absorb the knowledge and apply what I learned. In reading Jim Rohn, I had to ask myself, “Have I fallen down the rabbit hole of self-development?”

Every day I want to do better, be better, and be my most authentic self. Lately, however, a lot of what I read or hear isn’t resonating. Sometimes I think it’s the speaker, other times it’s the content. It’s like I’m Teflon and it just bounces off me. Why? What has changed? I think that, at some point, you have to take a break from reading the self-help books or listening to the podcasts and take action. And the action to take, as Jim Rohn advises, is simple yet profound: change what you can because “You can change what you have charge over. […] Nobody else can change your life, alter your ambitions, pave a golden road for you—only you can.”¹

Change What You Can

Of all the advice I’ve heard and read, change what you can has hit home the hardest because it squarely puts the responsibility for who I am now—and who I can become—in my hands. I’m the one who’s responsible, and it’s the actions I take today that will help me to either stay where I am and as I am, or propel me to a better future and a better version of myself.

It’s why, too, I’ve dialled down the self-help intake a bit. I’m taking a break from podcasts, using that time to act. And when I did that recently, I had time that I never thought I had to focus on learning more about book marketing and promotion (a key skill I need to develop as a self-published author). When I turned off my phone, the writing went smoother. And when I took a break in between tasks, I came to the next one more focused and with renewed energy.

You Know What to Do

Because I’m still chasing perfection, it means that I don’t have all the answers. There is always more to learn. But as I work to create that better life and that better version of myself, the paradox is that in many ways I know what to do. To be more productive, I need to not reach for my phone. To increase my flexibility, I need to stretch daily. If hitting and maintaining an average weight of 170 lbs is my goal, then I can’t regularly snack on Pull’N’Peel Twizzlers or pizza. And to lower my blood pressure, I need to reduce my sodium intake (and I have transitioned to a low-sodium diet).

Yes, we often know what we need to do to change, but it’s often easier to keep doing the same, easy things. Scroll on social media. Binge-watch a series on Netflix. Sleep in instead of going to the gym. But if you change what you can, you can begin the journey to change your life most dramatically.

And let me tell you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And, best of all, you do not need anyone’s permission to be—unapologetically—who you are.

1. Rohn, J. (2022). The Power of Ambition: Awakening the Powerful Force Within You, Shippensburg, Nightingale-Conant-Corporation., p. 62. [↩]