I have a driver’s licence, but it’s been over five years since I’ve sat behind the driver’s wheel and navigated a car through the streets. There’s no need for it. Living in downtown Toronto, everything I need — grocery stores, banks, the public library, restaurants — is within walking distance. And choosing to get around the city on foot keeps me active as part of a healthy lifestyle. It also reminds me that sometimes, charging through life, the best approach is easy does it.
Easy does it, though, was hard advice to swallow when I finally learned to drive a standard. The jerky movements, the black smoke that one time billowed out from underneath the hood, the embarrassment of not being able to get it right.
One morning especially. I just couldn’t get the coordination right and, struggling to shift gears, the car got stuck in reverse. After a few unsuccessful attempts — and feeling like a failure — I called a friend for help.
Don’t Give Up
There will be days when we feel like we’re stuck in reverse as we pursue our creative dreams. (I’m in one of those periods now, trying to figure out the next right thing to do without driving myself crazy.) No forward momentum. No obvious signs of success. And no third-party validations.
So, easy does it becomes my mantra and I stay focused on the why in what I’m doing. I write every day because writing is what sustains me. But I don’t worry about how well my last book, Everything He Thought He Knew, ranks on Amazon or if it will become a bestseller. I write, taking Steven Pressfield’s advice to heart: “I cannot permit my professional or personal self-conception to be dependent on external acceptance or approval, at least not of the ‘mainstream recognition’ variety.”
Yes, easy does it.
We’re on a journey and, one step at a time, we’ll get to our final destination. Don’t necessarily expect an easy ride. Just be ready — and committed — for the long haul.
Are you feeling stuck? What’s the one thing you can do right now to move forward? Do that one thing now, then click Reply, or leave a comment in the section below, to tell the world all about it.
Hi Marcus!
You’re totally on the right path.
There is sometimes a new perspective to be had when stuck in reverse. Imagine being stuck in reverse heading up a hill? I learned how to drive standard when I was a teen. I used to teach all my friends how to drive standard by making them drive up a hill with a stop sign at the top of the hill (it wasn’t a busy road so it hardly mattered if it took a long time.) I would sit in the passenger seat and coach my friends on how to ease the clutch and slowly accelerate to move forward. It requires a sense of balance. Most people rolled backwards down the hill many many times before finding the right balance but then, once you find the balance, it’s a true leap forward, up the hill.
The other day, I was thinking back about where I am now and where I was ten years ago. After the dot com crash (I lost my job at a tech startup), I used my nest egg to live on while building a consulting business. I was on a great uphill path until the 2008 recession hit and I lost everything in the matter of months. I rolled way down the hill.
I was a single Mom with zero cash flow. Man, it was HARD. I concentrated on one simple mantra, “Good work begets good work.” I specifically used the word good rather than great because I wanted the double (or even triple) entendre. I wanted to work with good clients who were doing good in the world and I wanted my work to be good — I wanted to do my best work, actually, but for the right causes. At the time I had taken on some work for some clients who were not the best people. I needed to pay my rent and put food on the table. Many of my clients were assholes. I wanted to get rid of the assholes. When you are in the work every day it is sometimes hard to see the progress you are making but you always get there if you keep showing up.
Since we met via Seth Godin, I thought I’d share his podcast which touches a bit on this subject, In The Long Run – https://www.akimbo.me/blog/episode-15-in-the-long-run
Happy writing! Thank you for showing up.
Hi Susan,
You’re right. There is perspective to be had when we’re stuck in reverse. I think it allows us — we’re open to it — to do, as you did, reflect on where we were, where we are now, and where we’re hoping to go. You’re experience with the dot com crash — rolling back to the bottom of the hill but then pulling yourself out again — reminds me that we do, when we show up day after day, make progress. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to see that progress, but we do move forward.
The last two years have been good in the sense that I’ve been showing up, writing, publishing … achieving my goals. But in another sense, I’ve been stuck in reverse. Or maybe just stuck … ‘satisfied’ with the status quo. But there’s been this discomfort, this uneasiness, that’s kept poking at me. Towards the end of 2018, I realized I can be doing more. Where I am now doesn’t have to be my future. I’m working to bring more clarity to what I’m doing and why. I’m still letting the fear of failure hold me back somewhat, but there can be great lessons in failing. And nothing can happen if we don’t take risks.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s inspiring.
And thanks for sharing Seth Godin’s podcast, The Long Run. I’m going to listen it this weekend.
Thanks for showing up, too, and for your insights!