LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner
When I quit my former job at the end of June, I really had no clue as to what I’d do next. But as I mentioned before, I ‘crashed’ due to the level of exhaustion that I experienced. The seven weeks I spent at home were both magical and frustrating. Magical because my schedule was open to whatever I wanted to do, which was mostly writing, running, and baking. It also became a period of extreme frustration because I’d lost my ability to focus deeply. [Read more…] about Focus Deeply
Entering the fourth week at my new job, I can say this: I’m exhausted. It’s not just because I’m back to getting up super early to write and run before work, but also because of how ‘draining’ being around other people can be. Especially when I think of myself as an introvert. It is still an adjustment, and even though I know it can take time to find your footing, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. [Read more…] about Find Your Footing
Last week, I restarted my training for the Toronto Waterfront Marathon, which takes place in October. At 3:30 in the morning, the streets are practically empty. And it’s what I love best about early morning running: calm and quiet. Running again, I wasn’t focused on my pace or distance but on gratitude—to be able to run again. But after a two-week hiatus, I had to resist the urge to train as if nothing had happened. And that meant accepting that sometimes it’s better to go slow to go fast. [Read more…] about Go Slow to Go Fast
As we near the end of the year (it’s closer than you think), I become a bit more reflective. Am I really focused on what matters? What more can I do to fulfill my dreams? How can I be of service? Mulling over those questions, I am thinking more about how I can live a life worth living.
Life isn’t easy at the moment. Inflation is on the rise. We are still dealing with COVID-19. The war continues in Ukraine. Millions of people are struggling to make ends meet. There are a lot of reasons to give up, to crawl into a deep, dark hole and stay there. Working with the public, there are many, many days when I want to build a cabin in the woods protected behind fortified walls. No one in or out. All of those things together have me asking other questions: How do I stay focused and sane? How do I throw off the doubt and fear? How do I cut myself off from the noise? [Read more…] about A Life Worth Living
At the beginning of October, I received an e-mail with the subject line: “Your Last 3 Months of 2022.” The e-mail was from Jeff Fajans, a creative performance consultant with whom I had worked in the past. I did not open it — not until yesterday — because the subject line alone sent me into a tailspin. Three months left in 2022? WTF? For the previous nine months, I had been chastising myself for not doing more, for ‘wasting’ time, for being unfocused. I knew I had to change, but sometimes change is hard. Still, was I going to spend the last three months of the year doing the same thing?
Last week, I finally sat down at my desk and took time to look at everything that I want to do before the end of the year. In some cases, it is a matter of what I need to get started on. But to make any sort of real progress, I knew I needed more than a mental game plan. I had to write it down and face reality. I needed a plan to hold me to account … because change is hard.
I cannot tell you how uncomfortable writing out the plan made me. Seeing all the goals on paper — and the concrete actions I would need to take to achieve them — had me, once again, doubting myself and my worth. Could I really do it? Who do I think I am? At what point will I fail? The negative chatter was trying to hold me back before I even made it out of the gate. Because change is hard, and I was already looking for any excuse to let myself fail. [Read more…] about Change is Hard