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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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do what you love

Take a Risk

January 30, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

During a trip to London in November, I had to do something out of the ordinary: find a post office open on Sunday to mail a package for a friend. I found one not far from my hotel, downloaded the route from Google Maps, then set out. It took me a moment to recognize the outlet since the postal services were offered inside another shop.

The packaged mailed, I then walked to the Marks & Spencer (M&S) on Edgeware Road. For some reason, I never bothered to check the M&S store hours and assumed — like their competitors Tesco and Sainsburys — it’d be open early. Not so. On Sundays, M&S doesn’t open until noon. I checked the time. 11:22. Could I kill forty minutes? Exhausted from being up all night, all I wanted to do was pick up some food and then head back to my hotel room to crash.

I went first to Tesco, then Sainsburys, but they didn’t have anything on offer that appealed to me. Even though my stomach rumbled (and shopping when I’m starving is dangerous), I opted to wait for M&S to open. I ventured over to Paddington Basin, where a scene from the last Jason Bourne movie had been filmed, and grabbed a coffee from KuPP. Sitting by the canal, I pulled out my iPhone and, in between sips of coffee, started fooling around with the video.

The Gamble

out of the ordinaryIf you’re blogging or on Instagram, uploading video content is all the rage at the moment. I’m not a filmmaker, and don’t have any such ambition. But exploring this ‘new’ medium gave me that … I don’t quite know the word. It sparked something inside of me. It made me curious.

Heading to M&S on a high, I realized what was happening. I was taking a risk, doing something outside of my comfort zone. It was the artist in me taking control.

And when you take risks, new doors open.

The new door that opened turned out to be Black Sweater Talk, a weekly video blog I share on Facebook. I took a risk, did something out of the ordinary … and this is what it looks like. I hope you’ll check it out!

Have you taken a risk lately? How did it make you feel? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: creatives, do what you love, easy does it, forward momentum, stay focused, writers, writing, writing life

Easy Does It

January 9, 2019 by Marcus 2 Comments

I have a driver’s licence, but it’s been over five years since I’ve sat behind the driver’s wheel and navigated a car through the streets. There’s no need for it. Living in downtown Toronto, everything I need — grocery stores, banks, the public library, restaurants — is within walking distance. And choosing to get around the city on foot keeps me active as part of a healthy lifestyle. It also reminds me that sometimes, charging through life, the best approach is easy does it.

Easy does it, though, was hard advice to swallow when I finally learned to drive a standard. The jerky movements, the black smoke that one time billowed out from underneath the hood, the embarrassment of not being able to get it right.

One morning especially. I just couldn’t get the coordination right and, struggling to shift gears, the car got stuck in reverse. After a few unsuccessful attempts — and feeling like a failure — I called a friend for help.

Don’t Give Up

There will be days when we feel like we’re stuck in reverse as we pursue our creative dreams. (I’m in one of those periods now, trying to figure out the next right thing to do without driving myself crazy.) No forward momentum. No obvious signs of success. And no third-party validations.

So, easy does it becomes my mantra and I stay focused on the why in what I’m doing. I write every day because writing is what sustains me. But I don’t worry about how well my last book, Everything He Thought He Knew, ranks on Amazon or if it will become a bestseller. I write, taking Steven Pressfield’s advice to heart: “I cannot permit my professional or personal self-conception to be dependent on external acceptance or approval, at least not of the ‘mainstream recognition’ variety.”

Yes, easy does it.

We’re on a journey and, one step at a time, we’ll get to our final destination. Don’t necessarily expect an easy ride. Just be ready — and committed — for the long haul.

Are you feeling stuck? What’s the one thing you can do right now to move forward? Do that one thing now, then click Reply, or leave a comment in the section below, to tell the world all about it.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: creatives, do what you love, easy does it, forward momentum, stay focused, writers, writing, writing life

Why You Must Hold Fast to Your Dreams

January 2, 2019 by Marcus 1 Comment

Back in 2015, I did something kind of crazy. I declared it my Year of Selfishness. It was going to be ALL about me.

And it was … sort of.

How it all Began

I don’t remember exactly what I was looking for, but scanning the Google search results my eyes landed on “Three Simple Rules for Life”:

  • If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
  • If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
  • If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

Whoa! There it was, in terms so clear, the motive behind my ‘selfishness.’ I wasn’t looking to subscribe to the traditional definition of the root word, selfish: “(Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” as defined by the Oxford Dictionary. The selfishness I embraced was about acknowledging what I wanted to achieve and having the courage to go after it. And since 2015, this concept of selfishness has been my modus operandi.

Put First Things First

SelfishnessIt’s easy to let our creative goals get pushed aside for the wrong reasons. We’re afraid of what people will think if we tell them our dream is to be a writer or dancer. We’re afraid of failing the first time we try, and that can stop us from trying again. Or we feel guilty about taking time to do something that’s burning inside of us when surrounded by familial, work and other responsibilities or pressures.

So, sometimes being selfish is imperative to achieving our dreams, and that means putting yourself first. That can be difficult, and at times, uncomfortable. You don’t want to let down my spouse/partner, friends or family. You don’t want them to feel like you’ve abandoned them. But when you’re not being true to who you are — or if you’re not feeling like you’re moving confidently in the direction of your dreams — how can you be there for anyone else when you haven’t been there for yourself? You’re the one who you’ve abandoned.

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we end up on autopilot and don’t follow through on our heart’s desire. Now it’s time to put first things first. So, maybe that means getting up early (I wake up around 4:00 am to write) or staying up late to have time to focus on your project. Take a vacation day (and don’t tell anyone) to finish the sound editing for your short film. Find a quiet place during your lunch hour (alone) and write the first sentence of the book that’s always been inside of you. And magical things happen when we put first things first.

It Kind of is Now or Never

And for too long, I worried about what others would think if I told them I wanted to be a writer. That was why, in my twenties, I ‘wasted’ a lot of time after graduating from university trying to fit into the nine-to-five world. When I turned thirty, it felt like time suddenly sped up … like I blinked and my thirties were over. In my early forties, it was all I could do just to keep up. But I found the courage to do the things in life that mattered most.

Now, in my mid-forties, some dreams have become reality and I’m living my best years ever. But there’s a lingering sense of urgency, knowing my time on this planet is limited, to rush to get everything else done. And as that temptation to rush intensifies, I teeter on the verge of craziness as other goals and dreams stall. What must I do to get them moving again? And is there enough time in the day to do it all?

So, whatever you dream of doing, do it now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off any longer. It’s no secret. The longer you wait to begin, the longer it’ll take to get to where you want to go.

Hold Fast, Hold Strong

The age-old adage to take life ‘one day at a time’ is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but it’s easier to stay grounded when we’re focused on the day at hand instead of running off to some unforeseeable future. Each step we take, no matter how small, moves us forward. Don’t chastise yourself for things not done. Instead, celebrate writing the first sentence of your book, buying the paint supplies for the new series, or staying up late to start your dream.

Holdfast, hold strong, and don’t ever lose faith. Don’t ever stop believing that you can achieve your passion.

Now is the time to begin, or begin again, no matter where you are.

Are you holding fast to your dreams? Can you be ‘selfish’ enough to make your dreams a priority? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, be who you are, creativity, do what you love, don't give up, dreams, focus, habits, routine, selfishness, writing

Heed the Call

December 19, 2018 by Marcus 3 Comments

Heed the CallIn her book, The Wisdom of Sundays, Oprah Winfrey writes: “The number one principle that rules my life is intention. Thought by thought, choice by choice, we are cocreating our lives based on the energy of our intention.”[note]Oprah Winfrey, The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations, Flatiron Books, 2017, p.44[/note] Or simply put: heed the call.

The Takeaway

Whatever we want to do in this life, we must act with intention. If you want to be a writer, you write. If you want to be run for government office, at whatever level, you get out and engage with the community. Want to be a painter? Then paint.

It’s not always easy. What we want to do and what we think we should do are often in conflict with each other. There may be forces pulling you in a different direction, almost tempting you away from your heart’s true desire. Don’t give those forces the power to convince you that your goal or dream is too hard, silly, or completely impossible.

Don’t Be Discouraged

In your daily life, focus on the actions you can take to keep moving forward in the direction of your dreams. When your inner critic comes out to play, silence him. Think, too, about the company you keep. I’ve often found that people who ridicule your dreams are often the ones who gave up on their own. Stand strong. Be brave and bold. Because deep down in your gut, you know this is your calling.

Heed the call!

Do you feel you have a calling? And have you heeded the call? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: do what you love, don't give up, dreams, goals, heed the call, oprah winfrey

Get in the Habit of Doing What You Love

December 12, 2018 by Marcus 5 Comments

write every dayI write every day. No matter where I am — in Toronto or London — I write. Some days writing isn’t easy, especially after a long flight when I’ve been up all night. Even as my eyelids sag, I’ll sit down at the desk in my hotel room and write. I might write 250 words or the first draft of a short story or blog post. But I write.

Showing up every day to do the one thing you’re most passionate about takes courage. It shows you’re committed, no matter what the odds. It’s the way to hone your skills and become better. It gets you excited and keeps the momentum going. Do it long enough, without fail, and it’ll show you who you really are.

It’s Not Easy

Nothing happens overnight. For habits to stick, it takes time and repetition. Believe in yourself, that you can, and will, succeed. Remain faithful to the cause. And remember … begin where you are. You’ll slip up and make mistakes, but you’ll survive.

Keep going. In the long-term, you’ll be better off for it.

Are you trying to create a new habit? How’s it working out? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, be who you are, creativity, do what you love, don't give up, focus, habits, routine, writing

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