Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

writing life

Do Hard Things

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do hard things

Running the Toronto Waterfront Marathon last October, there were several moments when I wanted to give up. As the pain exploded in my right foot and my pace slowed to a walk, I remember thinking, ‘What the hell just happened?’ Everything just evaporated. The ease with which I was running. My breathing. My mental toughness. And my chance at setting a personal best. Over the years, running taught me I could do hard things. Only there I was, pulling off to the side to stretch, breathe, wallow, and attempt to regain my focus. But when I started running again, I knew I was in trouble. [Read more…] about Do Hard Things

Be Gentle

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be gentle

For most of my adult life, I have been hard on myself. Extremely hard. I have always set high expectations for myself, and when I don’t meet them or come up short, I’m disappointed. While I have been trying to be gentle with myself, it’s not easy. Even though I know it’s unrealistic for me to believe that I will succeed at everything or get everything right on the first try, deep down that expectation is still there. [Read more…] about Be Gentle

What’s Next?

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what's next

The end of 2023 isn’t that far off. As Halloween approaches, it won’t be long before Christmas displays start popping up in stores. Reflecting on the year so far, I’ve accomplished more than I sometimes give myself credit for. I quit a job where I was underpaid, undervalued, and that left me empty. I figured out how to spend most of the summer doing what I love. A recruiter found me and now—for the first time in years—I actually enjoy my day job. I published Bring Him Back to Me in August. And last but not least, I recently ran the TCS Toronto Waterfront Marathon. The question is…what’s next? [Read more…] about What’s Next?

Less but Better

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It’s been a difficult lesson to learn, but it is slowly sinking in: less but better. Because I have only recently recognized that I have perhaps pushed myself to the brink vainly trying—despite what I told myself—to do it all. And if I’m trying to do it all, I’m not able to (when I’m honest with myself) bring the focus and attention necessary to each task. [Read more…] about Less but Better

Perfectionism: It’s Not a Prize

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perfectionism

Shortly after my fiftieth birthday, I finally sat down to finish reading a book I’d started a few weeks before. The book? Brené Brown’s Imperfect. In the aftermath of my trip to the ER two weeks ago, Brown’s book hit a nerve. Actually, it dug out the demons and gremlins I’ve been battling most of my adult life: self-doubt, perfectionism, and worthlessness. And just to twist the knife a little deeper, it had me thinking about—obsessively, and not in a good way—if I, and by extension my life, mattered. [Read more…] about Perfectionism: It’s Not a Prize