Shortly after my fiftieth birthday, I finally sat down to finish reading a book I’d started a few weeks before. The book? Brené Brown’s Imperfect. In the aftermath of my trip to the ER two weeks ago, Brown’s book hit a nerve. Actually, it dug out the demons and gremlins I’ve been battling most of my adult life: self-doubt, perfectionism, and worthlessness. And just to twist the knife a little deeper, it had me thinking about—obsessively, and not in a good way—if I, and by extension my life, mattered. [Read more…] about Perfectionism: It’s Not a Prize
Writing Off the Grid
The Wanderer
Generally speaking, we tend to group writers into two camps: plotters and pansters. Plotters write an outline of their entire book before they sit down to write, hence the nickname. Pansters, as you can imagine, fly by the seat of their pants. They have an idea and they sit down and write—no idea where the writing will go, but they let the words ‘lead’ them. I’m a panster. I like taking a flicker of an idea and developing it as I type. But lately, I’ve become another type of writer: a wanderer. [Read more…] about The Wanderer
When Life Throws a Curveball
It happened overnight. That subtle shift from forty-nine to being half a century old. I didn’t make a big deal out of turning fifty. A few of us celebrated the occasion at Antler, a restaurant I’d been wanting to try for a while—and we weren’t disappointed. I had planned to kayak the morning of my birthday, but strong winds forced to me reschedule. The next day, though, I was out on the water and exploring the Humber River—all the while trying to dodge the curveball life was throwing at me. [Read more…] about When Life Throws a Curveball
50 Years of Learning
With my fiftieth birthday looming (it’s tomorrow), I’ve been quietly reflecting on my life’s journey so far. Since I’ve always believed that age is a state of mind, I’ve never had—and am not having now—one of those ‘crisis moments’ that some people have when they hit certain milestone ages. But in my fifty years on this planet, I like to think that I’ve gathered a little wisdom. And today, I’d like to share a few of the lessons (in no particular order as I believe they’re equally important) that life has taught me, beginning with… [Read more…] about 50 Years of Learning
Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
Are you a time-waster? I am. Sometimes. As a writer who’s always had a day job, I have always tried to be intentional about making time to create. And I like to think that, for the most part, I have done that. I write consistently during the early morning hours. When necessary, I take vacation days to finish editing a novel, review galleys, or make sure everything is set for a book’s release. When I consider every minute outside of work to be precious, I try not to waste them. But I’m human. And sometimes distractions pull us away from what you think matters most. When that happens, how do you learn to not be so hard on yourself? [Read more…] about Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself