routine

I’m a Hot Mess

March 11, 2020 by Marcus 2 Comments

I have a confession. Lately, I’ve been a hot mess. I’d hope that ‘going off the grid’ would help me focus, let me work on the things that I thought mattered most. And, so far, that’s been kind of true. Except for those five days in January when I had the stomach flu, I’ve met or exceeded my goal of running 50 km a week. I made steady progress on two writing projects. Stuck to my plan of spending less time on social media and, as a result, reduced my screen time and how often I reached for my cell phone.

But…

I’m a Hot Mess

I wasn’t satisfied with my progress. There were, still, too many days when other distractions crept in and stole the show. Picking up my post-run latte, I’d open the Starbucks app and see a new promotion to earn an extra 150 stars if I stopped in after 2:00 pm. Sure enough, at 2:01 I was leaving the condo for a drink I did not need. In the middle of editing, a flash to have burgers for dinner meant — right then — a trip to grocery story for buns. Watching an episode of Amazon’s Hunters during my lunch break easily turned into a binge-watching session (it’s that good!).

Dirty Little Secrets

Holed up in my London hotel room at the beginning of the month, I reviewed my goals for February — what I had completed and what I hadn’t. And I got mad. Mad! At myself. I was a hot mess because, when I was honest with myself, I wasn’t acting with intention. In fact, and despite what I wanted to believe, I’d been operating on autopilot mode. How many hours had I wasted watching reruns of Anger Management and The Shield? Too embarrassed to admit. How often had I thought about cleaning up my desk (it’s a perpetual disaster zone), but never took action? Hint: it still looks like it’s been hit by an atom bomb. How many times, twenty or thirty minutes into a writing session, had I been distracted by the clothes piled high in the laundry hamper or forgetting to turn on the dishwasher, and stopped writing to tackle them? Honestly, let’s not go there.

Here’s the thing… Every time I let distractions win, I never got my focus back. Over and over again, I lost the day to countless other tasks and errands that took me away from my focused and best work. The end result? Me constantly feeling unfulfilled, bitter and frustrated that I wasn’t doing more.

Dah!

Something had to change. And at first, I wasn’t sure what to do. Then, opening my phone to play ‘Wordscapes’ — and to again give in to distraction — my focus landed on the icon of the Flexday app I’d downloaded in January. If you haven’t heard of Flexday, it’s a service that offers workspaces in restaurants, retail and hotels for drop-in productivity. Time to finally try it out (you receive one free pass when you sign up), so I headed to one of the participating restaurants in my neighbourhood. On that first day, I spent from 9:00 am to 3:00 pm working on the rewrite of my novel. With no laundry or TV or dirty dishes to distract me, I’d made more progress on my rewrite in those six hours than I had in the previous three weeks. And before I packed everything up for the day, I signed up for Flexday’s Core Pass (monthly subscription) that gives me access to 30-plus core workspaces. And here’s the best part. By the end of the week and after only four visits, I’d completed the rewrite of my novel.

I realized that the main distraction in my life wasn’t the laundry or dishes or even my cluttered desk. It was my condo. Sharing seven hundred square feet with my partner, and wanting it to be both a refuge from the world and a workspace wasn’t working for me. Not anymore. If I wanted to do focused work and make real progress on the projects that matter most to me, I had to physically remove myself from that space. At least for now. And it’s working. (I’m writing this blog post from the restaurant Marben, which, here in Toronto, is the Flagship Flexday Workspace.)

One Day at a Time

I no longer feel like I’m a hot mess. One day at a time, I’m intentionally curating the life I imagine for myself. And better still, I’m staying focused on what matters most. Writing in an environment, where I’m surrounded by other entrepreneurs and creatives who are upping their productivity game and taking advantage of these inspiring workspaces around the city, inspires. And just like it says on the Flexday website, it really does “beats working from home or the coffee shop.”

Are you being intentional about how you spend your time? Are you curating the life you imagine for yourself? Click Reply to let me know. I love hearing from you!

Let it all Go

January 23, 2020 by Marcus Leave a Comment

I’m not the type of person to easily ‘let it all go.’ But sometimes the choice isn’t mine.

Normal

Case in point: Last Friday (17 January 2020). The day started off normally. I woke up at 3:00, wrote my Morning Pages and put in about an hour on a writing project. Around 5:30, I headed out for a run and, like I’ve been doing for the past couple of months, stopped for a post-run decaf latte. Then it was back home to clean up, have breakfast and write some more. [Read more…] about Let it all Go

Back to Basics

September 4, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

For a lot of students, this is their first week back to school after the summer break. Back to early morning alarms buzzing. Back to scrambling out the door to catch the bus. Yes, back to making up excuses as to why homework isn’t done. While it’s been twenty years (now I feel old) since I left university, this is the time of year I get back to basics. [Read more…] about Back to Basics

I Know this Much is True

April 3, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Writing is hard work. So is being a painter, a sculptor, a dancer. We show up every day to do the work, to share our vision of the world in the only way we know how. When the time is right, we release it into the public domain and wait. Wait for third-party validation. Wait to be told it’s good enough, or that it sucks. And as we wait, we’re already back in the studio, at the piano, or in front of the laptop creating again. We’re living our dream. We don’t give up.

Reality Check

No matter how great we think our art is — a novel, a series of paintings, a dance choreography — not everyone will like it. Don’t believe me? Check out my book, The Flowers Need Watering, to see the ratings that range from 1 to 5 stars, and some of the cutthroat reviews. But you roll with the punches because art is subjective, and what we create won’t appeal to everyone. And my goal isn’t to create for the masses. It’s to focus on a small group of people for whom I can, through my writing, be of service. That’s what drives me. Not the 4 or 5-star reviews or glowing praise, but that I’ve been of service.

Do the Work

Whatever your dream, embrace it and don’t give up. Don’t run away at the first (or forty-ninth) failure. Don’t think it’s impossible because it’s taking longer than you expected to get where you want to go. Show up daily and do the work.

My first novel, Freestyle Love, debuted and flopped in 2011. I’d been so emotionally invested it (it was my first book and I expected everyone to love it) that I couldn’t see that it really sucked. Big time. Going through the process of self-publishing for my second book — and working with an editor — allowed me to see all the mistakes I’d made with Freestyle Love. And it did something else, too. It gave me the courage to try again. So, I rewrote Freestyle Love because I still believed in it and, with more experience behind me, I knew I could make it better. I refused to give up.

The Lesson

A few years ago, talking about the writing process with a friend, she asked me this: What are some things that you’ve learned along the way that would help other authors who are trying to publish their first book? While I geared my answer to writers, it applies to anyone pursuing a dream. This is what I said:

Art is subjective, so don’t take rejection personally. Be satisfied that what you put out for public consumption is your best work and let it shine.
Be persistent. Keep writing. Keep practicing. Show up daily to do the work. ‘Do the work’ is the important part because when you show up daily, you create a routine. And the more you write or dance or paint, the better you become.
Believe in yourself and in the work, and do it all for the love of it. It’s a challenge in today’s world, but try not to focus on your blog stats, Facebook likes, number of retweets, etc. While they are supposedly indicators of our success, they can drive you crazy if you feel like you’re not engaging enough or that no one is listening. Just be who you are, let your voice shine through and be of service. Focus on doing the work.

Bring the Magic

I know this much is true. The magic happens when you show up daily and do the work — not for fame, wealth, or recognition, but because it is the one thing you cannot not do. It is your purpose, your calling. That is the moment when the stars align, when your light shines.

What drives you to do what you do? What one thing could you do today that would move your dream forward? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Why You Must Hold Fast to Your Dreams

January 2, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Back in 2015, I did something kind of crazy. I declared it my Year of Selfishness. It was going to be ALL about me.

And it was … sort of.

How it all Began

I don’t remember exactly what I was looking for, but scanning the Google search results my eyes landed on “Three Simple Rules for Life”:

If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

Whoa! There it was, in terms so clear, the motive behind my ‘selfishness.’ I wasn’t looking to subscribe to the traditional definition of the root word, selfish: “(Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” as defined by the Oxford Dictionary. The selfishness I embraced was about acknowledging what I wanted to achieve and having the courage to go after it. And since 2015, this concept of selfishness has been my modus operandi.

Put First Things First

Selfishness It’s easy to let our creative goals get pushed aside for the wrong reasons. We’re afraid of what people will think if we tell them our dream is to be a writer or dancer. We’re afraid of failing the first time we try, and that can stop us from trying again. Or we feel guilty about taking time to do something that’s burning inside of us when surrounded by familial, work and other responsibilities or pressures.

So, sometimes being selfish is imperative to achieving our dreams, and that means putting yourself first. That can be difficult, and at times, uncomfortable. You don’t want to let down my spouse/partner, friends or family. You don’t want them to feel like you’ve abandoned them. But when you’re not being true to who you are — or if you’re not feeling like you’re moving confidently in the direction of your dreams — how can you be there for anyone else when you haven’t been there for yourself? You’re the one who you’ve abandoned.

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we end up on autopilot and don’t follow through on our heart’s desire. Now it’s time to put first things first. So, maybe that means getting up early (I wake up around 4:00 am to write) or staying up late to have time to focus on your project. Take a vacation day (and don’t tell anyone) to finish the sound editing for your short film. Find a quiet place during your lunch hour (alone) and write the first sentence of the book that’s always been inside of you. And magical things happen when we put first things first.

It Kind of is Now or Never

And for too long, I worried about what others would think if I told them I wanted to be a writer. That was why, in my twenties, I ‘wasted’ a lot of time after graduating from university trying to fit into the nine-to-five world. When I turned thirty, it felt like time suddenly sped up … like I blinked and my thirties were over. In my early forties, it was all I could do just to keep up. But I found the courage to do the things in life that mattered most.

Now, in my mid-forties, some dreams have become reality and I’m living my best years ever. But there’s a lingering sense of urgency, knowing my time on this planet is limited, to rush to get everything else done. And as that temptation to rush intensifies, I teeter on the verge of craziness as other goals and dreams stall. What must I do to get them moving again? And is there enough time in the day to do it all?

So, whatever you dream of doing, do it now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off any longer. It’s no secret. The longer you wait to begin, the longer it’ll take to get to where you want to go.

Hold Fast, Hold Strong

The age-old adage to take life ‘one day at a time’ is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but it’s easier to stay grounded when we’re focused on the day at hand instead of running off to some unforeseeable future. Each step we take, no matter how small, moves us forward. Don’t chastise yourself for things not done. Instead, celebrate writing the first sentence of your book, buying the paint supplies for the new series, or staying up late to start your dream.

Holdfast, hold strong, and don’t ever lose faith. Don’t ever stop believing that you can achieve your passion.

Now is the time to begin, or begin again, no matter where you are.

Are you holding fast to your dreams? Can you be ‘selfish’ enough to make your dreams a priority? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.