Marcus Lopés

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Why You Must Hold Fast to Your Dreams

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Back in 2015, I did something kind of crazy. I declared it my Year of Selfishness. It was going to be ALL about me.

And it was … sort of.

How it all Began

I don’t remember exactly what I was looking for, but scanning the Google search results my eyes landed on “Three Simple Rules for Life”:

  • If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
  • If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
  • If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

Whoa! There it was, in terms so clear, the motive behind my ‘selfishness.’ I wasn’t looking to subscribe to the traditional definition of the root word, selfish: “(Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” as defined by the Oxford Dictionary. The selfishness I embraced was about acknowledging what I wanted to achieve and having the courage to go after it. And since 2015, this concept of selfishness has been my modus operandi.

Put First Things First

SelfishnessIt’s easy to let our creative goals get pushed aside for the wrong reasons. We’re afraid of what people will think if we tell them our dream is to be a writer or dancer. We’re afraid of failing the first time we try, and that can stop us from trying again. Or we feel guilty about taking time to do something that’s burning inside of us when surrounded by familial, work and other responsibilities or pressures.

So, sometimes being selfish is imperative to achieving our dreams, and that means putting yourself first. That can be difficult, and at times, uncomfortable. You don’t want to let down my spouse/partner, friends or family. You don’t want them to feel like you’ve abandoned them. But when you’re not being true to who you are — or if you’re not feeling like you’re moving confidently in the direction of your dreams — how can you be there for anyone else when you haven’t been there for yourself? You’re the one who you’ve abandoned.

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we end up on autopilot and don’t follow through on our heart’s desire. Now it’s time to put first things first. So, maybe that means getting up early (I wake up around 4:00 am to write) or staying up late to have time to focus on your project. Take a vacation day (and don’t tell anyone) to finish the sound editing for your short film. Find a quiet place during your lunch hour (alone) and write the first sentence of the book that’s always been inside of you. And magical things happen when we put first things first.

It Kind of is Now or Never

And for too long, I worried about what others would think if I told them I wanted to be a writer. That was why, in my twenties, I ‘wasted’ a lot of time after graduating from university trying to fit into the nine-to-five world. When I turned thirty, it felt like time suddenly sped up … like I blinked and my thirties were over. In my early forties, it was all I could do just to keep up. But I found the courage to do the things in life that mattered most.

Now, in my mid-forties, some dreams have become reality and I’m living my best years ever. But there’s a lingering sense of urgency, knowing my time on this planet is limited, to rush to get everything else done. And as that temptation to rush intensifies, I teeter on the verge of craziness as other goals and dreams stall. What must I do to get them moving again? And is there enough time in the day to do it all?

So, whatever you dream of doing, do it now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off any longer. It’s no secret. The longer you wait to begin, the longer it’ll take to get to where you want to go.

Hold Fast, Hold Strong

The age-old adage to take life ‘one day at a time’ is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but it’s easier to stay grounded when we’re focused on the day at hand instead of running off to some unforeseeable future. Each step we take, no matter how small, moves us forward. Don’t chastise yourself for things not done. Instead, celebrate writing the first sentence of your book, buying the paint supplies for the new series, or staying up late to start your dream.

Holdfast, hold strong, and don’t ever lose faith. Don’t ever stop believing that you can achieve your passion.

Now is the time to begin, or begin again, no matter where you are.

Are you holding fast to your dreams? Can you be ‘selfish’ enough to make your dreams a priority? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Get in the Habit of Doing What You Love

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write every dayI write every day. No matter where I am — in Toronto or London — I write. Some days writing isn’t easy, especially after a long flight when I’ve been up all night. Even as my eyelids sag, I’ll sit down at the desk in my hotel room and write. I might write 250 words or the first draft of a short story or blog post. But I write.

Showing up every day to do the one thing you’re most passionate about takes courage. It shows you’re committed, no matter what the odds. It’s the way to hone your skills and become better. It gets you excited and keeps the momentum going. Do it long enough, without fail, and it’ll show you who you really are.

It’s Not Easy

Nothing happens overnight. For habits to stick, it takes time and repetition. Believe in yourself, that you can, and will, succeed. Remain faithful to the cause. And remember … begin where you are. You’ll slip up and make mistakes, but you’ll survive.

Keep going. In the long-term, you’ll be better off for it.

Are you trying to create a new habit? How’s it working out? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

How I Begin

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I don’t set an alarm. I don’t need to. I’m a light sleeper and wake up a couple of times during the night. But when my back starts to ache, when I’m just rolling from side to side, that’s when I know it’s time. It’s time to get to work. This is how I begin each day.

That’s sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 am. I don’t shower or brush my teeth. I put on my running gear (shorts and a T-shirt), prepare my Amino Energy drink, and sit down at my desk. Then I capture the moment — the sort of haggard, sleepy look — with the camera on my iPhone and post it to Instagram, and sometimes Twitter. Proof that I’m up writing. Proof that I’m sticking to my routine. Already, it’s taken fifteen minutes before my pen finally touches the page.

How I Begin

A small sample of my journal collection.

I take my latest notebook (I try not to use the same one twice, so I have a diverse collection) and begin with my Morning Pages. Afterwards, I start the first draft of a blog post. By this point, I’ve been up for an hour and a half to two hours. The blog post isn’t done, but it’s time to get out for a run. I run under the veil of darkness, and when I see another runner it does feel like two ships passing in the night. The cool, crisp morning air fills my lungs and, running, I’ve gone into ‘the zone.’ I quiet my mind. I try to hear life speaking to me. Now I’m ready to take on whatever the day throws at me.

Back home, I peel off my sweaty running gear, throw on one of the ratty, fraying yet comfy ringer T-shirts I bought from Old Navy ten years ago and just can’t throw away, and finish the blog post. It’s a draft. Is it any good? Will people find value in it? I don’t know. I’ll come back to it in a few days to tweak it, rewrite it … maybe even chuck it out and start again. All that matters is that I’ve written something without letting procrastination have dominion over me.

Keep it Going

Even though I’m a morning person, getting up early every day isn’t easy. Some mornings, my energy dips low around 8:00 am. As a result, I crawl back into bed for forty-five minutes to an hour. I don’t sleep. I just lay there, let my body rest. Afterwards, I get up, shower, have breakfast, and park myself at my desk. I work on my primary writing project, which is either writing the first draft of a book or rewriting one. When I’m just staring at the spines of the dictionaries and thesauruses on my desk, I know I’m no longer being productive. The writing day is over, usually around 1:30 pm. I step out of my writing world and into another.

I don’t worry any more about how many words I’ve written, how many pages I produced, or how good the writing may or may not be. I’ve shown up and done the work. That’s what counts for me.

This is how I begin. This is how I make it over.

How do you begin each day? At what point do you know that you’re no longer being productive and must step away from the work? Hit Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Momentum: 3 Ways to Keep the Momentum Going

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I’m a light sleeper. Even if I take a sleep aid before bed, I wake up three or four times during the night. Tossing and turning, and a dull ache in my lower back signal that it’s time to get up. Resistance is futile. So, I roll out of bed, usually between 3:30 and 4:00 am. About fifteen minutes after my feet touch the floor, I’m seated at my desk. After an hour or so of writing, I’m heading out the door for a run. It’s all I can do to keep the momentum going.

If you’re like me, you’re trying to build your artistic career — as a writer, painter, musician, artist, entrepreneur — around a day job. It’s not easy. Sometimes it feels like the job that pays the bills, and allows you to do what you love, is getting in the way. Especially when you feel like you’re on the cusp of finishing a large project.

Currently, I’m rewriting a manuscript, the last round of self-editing before having my novel professionally edited. Yet every time I go to work, which takes me out of the country for three days, the rewrite grinds to a halt. I start to think, “I’m never going to finish this” or “Do I really think I can pull this off?” The momentum that had been building starts to ebb.

But I need to keep going, need to get right back to the work, need to stay the course. Here are three things I do that keep the momentum moving forward.

Have a Routine

Writer at desk early in morning to get momentum going
Here I am, at my desk at 4:15 am. Love this time of the day. It’s quiet, and it helps to get the momentum going.

If I’m not at home in Toronto, then I’m usually in London (UK) for work. I have a routine for both cities that keeps me writing and my projects on track. I get up early, at home and in London. It’s especially challenging in London when getting up at 6:00 am local time is 1:00 am in Toronto. I aim to do my most important work first because I’m at my best creatively in the morning. I said I try. Sometimes life interrupts. I run [almost] daily because it helps quiet my mind, gets me into a zone. I come back to my writing refreshed. And running keeps me active.

A routine keeps you grounded. If you don’t have a routine yet, try getting into one. The results will surprise you.

Finish Something

Nothing energizes me more than finishing a short story or novel. Sometimes I’m tempted to step away from a project when a new idea pops into my mind, but I don’t. I’ve learned instead to keep notes on new ideas and go back to them when my current project is complete. Then I’ll be in a better mindset to also assess the validity of a new idea.

Finishing something offers reassurance, when doubt lingers large and heavy, that you’re in fact on the right path. It’s a reminder that you’ve heeded the call of what it is you feel compelled to do in life. Finishing something reinforces the artist in us all. It says, loud and clear, “I’m an artist, hear me roar!”

Believe

I believe in myself. I believe in myself as a writer who’ll succeed. And that belief holds me accountable, sends me daily to the page. It does something else, too. It holds fear at bay.

Believe in yourself and your talent as an artist. Believe that you can and will do great things. In such a competitive world, we must be our greatest champion.

Forward Momentum

These three things (and there are others, too) keep the momentum going, setting me up for success. And that’s why I take to heart the words of Audre Lorde: “When I dare to be powerful — to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

How do you keep the momentum going on your creative projects? Do you have a routine? Hit Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

5 Rules to Live By

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As a kid, I hated rules. That’s because rules weren’t fun. They were meant to mould my behaviour and, perhaps unknowingly, stifle my creativity.

Rule: I had to eat everything on my plate before I left the table (that was hard, especially on the nights my father served burnt, chewy liver for dinner).

Rule: I couldn’t stay out late on a school night.

Rule: As long as I lived in my parents’ house, I’d do as they say.

Rules sucked. Big time.

Breaking the Rules

It probably comes as no surprise that, growing up, I was a rule breaker. Tell me I couldn’t do something, and I’d set out to prove that I could. Tell me I had to do something one way, I’d do it a different way and achieve the same result. ‘Rebelling’ was second-nature to me. In a way, it led me down the path to becoming who I am today.

Breaking the rules taught me a valuable lesson: that I had what it takes to be who I am, and not who others wish me to be. It came with a ‘price’ in that the people who wanted me to remain the same — friends and family alike — eventually slipped out of my life. To be honest, for a time that bothered me. But only until I understood that being my truest self is the greatest gift I could give to myself and the world. Marianne Williamson says it best:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 1

 

Not being small meant doing the thing that I love the most: writing. As I gave myself over to it, there was a mega shift in how I looked at rules. I saw their potential, how they could help me create the life I wanted.

From Rule Breaker to Rule Setter

When I first knew I wanted to be a writer, my goal (naïve as it was then) was to sign on with a well-known publishing company like HarperCollins or Penguin, or a literary agency. Self-publishing and being an indie author like we know them today didn’t exist. The one thing an emerging writer like myself wanted to avoid was being swindled by a vanity press.

Since then, the publishing industry has been completely turned on its head. Now, it’s easy and affordable for writers to publish their own works through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) and other platforms. The competition is fierce, which makes it hard to get your book to stand out in a crowded marketplace.

But when you do what you love, you don’t throw in the towel when the rejection letters start piling up. You don’t give up, either, when your first book flops (as mine did). You try, try, and try again because this is the thing that you must do. It’s the reason you’re here on earth. It’s your calling. And you must heed the call.

I write for the love of writing, to tell a story, to [I hope] offer a unique view of the world. And even though most days the idea of ambition and being successful makes me squeamish — almost like I don’t feel I deserve it — my aim is to write full-time. It’s why I show up every day to write. My dream won’t come true without me putting in the time and doing the necessary work.

Working to build a writing career around a day job, familial responsibilities and life in general, it’s pretty easy for me to get distracted. To stave off distraction — procrastination, resistance, self-doubt, etc. — I needed rules to get me through each day. When I became a self-published author, and responsible for marketing and promoting my book, rules became even more important. I had to find balance, especially when dealing with social media, which permeates all aspects of our lives.

Yes, I needed rules to stay focused and increase my productivity as I worked to achieve my goals. For me, it all comes down to this:

5 Rules to Live By

    1. Get up early: I’ve always been a morning person, but for over a year now I’ve been getting up around 4:30 am to jumpstart the day. That quiet time of day is when I do some of my most focused work without distraction. And by the time noon rolls around, I’ve checked off quite a few items on my to-do list.
    2. Do the most important thing first: Most days I succeed in tackling the most important task on my to-do list first. Usually, this is the project that requires the most focus and effort. Doing it first thing in the morning when I’m at my best makes the work feel ‘effortless.’
    3. Eliminate distractions: For the longest time, I tried to eliminate distractions on my own. You know, power down the phone and hide it somewhere out of sight. Close the internet navigator. Turn off the TV. Yet I often found myself saying, “Oh, I’ll just quickly check my e-mail.” Two hours later, I’ve not only checked my e-mail, but I’ve also squandered away time on Twitter, Facebook and CNN.

      About three years ago, I discovered StayFocusd, a Google Chrome extension that blocks the internet. And earlier this year I started using Freedom, which blocks the use of all apps on my iPhone. Together, StayFocusd and Freedom have decreased the time I waste online (procrastination) and significantly increased my productivity. I’m writing more. I’m finishing more projects. I feel like I’m actually moving forward.
    4. Manage social media engagement: I think I’ll always have a love-hate relationship with social media. I love it because of how I can connect with writers and readers from all over the world. I feel like I’m a part of a vibrant, supportive and encouraging community. I hate social media because it can suck you in and, before you know it, half the day is gone. (That’s another reason why I use StayFocusd and Freedom.)

      Apps like Freedom can only do so much. At some point, I had to practice self-control and self-discipline. And that meant learning to be purposeful in my use of social media. With Facebook, for example, I aim to post three or four times a week. Some may say that’s not enough, but it works for me and I don’t feel pressured to produce content that no one’s going to pay attention to.

      Twitter is my pandora’s box. I had to find a way to not let it overwhelm. So, about six weeks ago I made two important decisions that would impact my use of Twitter. 1. I’d only check in (reply to or like tweets) on Wednesdays and Fridays (days were chosen arbitrarily); and 2. I’d no longer check Direct Messages (DMs). These two decisions have helped me to reclaim my day, allowing me to focus on what really matters.
    5. Take care of yourself: As a child, I didn’t have an iPhone or xBox, and I wasn’t racing around the city playing Pokémon Go. (We had Atari and the Commodore 64 … do you remember those?) So, on sunny days I was always outside playing. In my late teens and my twenties, especially as a university student, I was a nerd and loved to be inside reading and writing.

      In 2008, I stepped on a scale (for the first time in over five years because I had the Blanche Devereaux mindset that my weight of 175 pounds never changed) to see the needle move past the 200-pound mark. I was devastated. It was the middle of February, -25°C, and in the cold of the night I decided to start running. Not knowing how to dress for a winter run, I ended up sick as a dog for two weeks.

      But that day changed my life. Not only did those unwanted pounds fall away in the weeks that followed, but running became a habit, one that’s held strong for ten years now. Best of all, running got me out of the house and living a more active life.

      And more recently, I’ve stopped drinking, reduced my sugar and salt intake, and in addition to running I’m also working out regularly (thanks to the Nike Training App). I have more energy, feel a lot better about myself and am enjoying all that life has to offer. I love running because it helps to clear my head, zone out … become one with myself. It’s also the time when I have my ‘Conversations with Oprah.’ In the zone, I can hear Ms. Winfrey asking those big life questions to one of her guests on Super Soul Sunday. Only I’m the guest, and when I hear myself give the answer there’s clarity — about how to move a story forward, or how to deal with a situation that I’ve been struggling with. I always come back from a run enlightened and energized, ready to take my game to the next level.

      We mustn’t neglect ourselves. We are our most valuable resource. When we take care of our body, mind and spirit, we are ready for whatever comes our way. And we know that there is nothing we can’t do.

Be Who You Are

These are my rules. They work for me as I strive to create the life I imagine — to let loose the truest, ultimate expression of who I am. I can’t afford to break them. Breaking the rules creates havoc and puts everything I’ve worked hard to achieve at risk.

As I continue to evolve, the rules may change or need to be tweaked.

But for now … I’ll keep playing by the rules.

Do you have any rules you live by? How do you stay focused? What is the one thing that is holding you back? What is the one thing you can change to allow yourself to move forward? Let me know in the comments section below.