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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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Push Yourself to Go Higher

February 20, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Every day is an opportunity to become the best version of ourselves, to push yourself to go higher. If I’m at home in Toronto, that means getting out for a long run — as long as it’s not -20°C or colder, and I’m not fighting a cold. That means, on the days I don’t ‘feel like’ writing, I show up anyway and do the work. That means that if I’m the recipient of rudeness, intolerance or impatience, I act with love and acceptance towards that person and, still, wish them goodwill.

Every day — with grace, patience and courage — I push myself to go higher.

Don’t Let Fear Stop You

push yourself to go higherLast summer, I attended a weekly workout group called Move Strong Toronto. The Monday evening sessions began with a warm-up run, followed by a 45-minute bodyweight workout, then a post-workout run. Although I’m a runner, I have no core body strength to speak of, and zero flexibility. So, midway through the sessions, I wanted to cry. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t keep up. I’d failed.

Then one Monday last November, following my crazy morning routine at the time, I was out of bed that morning at 3:30, at my desk writing a few minutes later, then out the door for a run at 5:30. By 9:00, it was decided: I wasn’t going to the Move Strong Toronto workout that evening, which started at 18:45. As a morning person, I’ve always struggled with late-afternoon or evening exercise. Not being able to attend the session regularly either, due to my work schedule, I didn’t know the other participants and felt awkward around them. Why not just stay home and watch TV? The excuses not to go kept piling up.

Maybe it was all the noise the plumber made working to clear the kitchen sink’s blocked drain, but around 16:30 something snapped. I had to go. Why? Sometimes you know you must step out of your comfort zone to push yourself to go higher. For me, this was one of those times.

Arriving at RYU Apparel, Move Strong Toronto’s winter meet-up location, I was the oldest person in the room. As the workout began, it became oh so clear just how much I struggled. It was hard not to be intimidated by the younger, firmer, more flexible athletes in the room. They made it look so easy. I had to rest while everyone else continued, or when my arms and legs felt weak. And yet, when I didn’t think I could do it … I pushed on. There I was a beginner. But if I showed up and kept putting in the time, I’d get better.

That’s how you push yourself to go higher.

Let it be Your Mantra

I’m a writer. Maybe you’re a dancer, an entrepreneur, a social worker. It doesn’t matter. Push yourself to go higher is about being bold enough, daring enough, to do more and to be better. Every day. It gives us an opportunity to hone our skills and develop new ones.

More importantly, it allows us to not miss the present moment and become who we really are.

Do you push yourself to go higher? How has it changed your life? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: amwriting, focus, procrastination, writer's block, writing, writing life

Writing Sober: One Year Later

January 16, 2019 by Marcus 5 Comments

Something ‘magical’ happened a year ago. Then, however, I didn’t know how much it would change my life, how much it would change the script.

On 17 January 2018, I stopped drinking.

I need a moment to let that sink in. I’ve been sober for one year. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes.

“Why?” many of my friends asked with bewilderment as much as curiosity. I stopped drinking — not because I was pressured to, not because I didn’t know my limit, not because alcohol was ravaging my life — because I had to get my house in order.

Call it an aha moment, a day of reckoning, an epiphany. Naming it isn’t important. But to fulfill my calling and be of service, things needed to change. To keep moving in the direction of my dreams, I had to clean up my own backyard.

Hitting Rock Bottom

Sometimes life speaks to you, yet you purposely ignore what her advice. That was me. By the end of 2018, I’d spent the previous two years on autopilot. Doing the same things over and over again, moving forward yet never feeling like I was getting ahead. Then ending up exhausted and tired of being in my doctor’s office, wanting to know why I wasn’t just sick but still sick. Tired of complaining of fatigue. Tired of the long bouts of insomnia.

Headed for some type of breakdown, it was time for an intervention because I wasn’t ‘happy’ with my life. I wasn’t where I wanted to be or living the life I’d imagined. And if I wanted to bring that vision to life — and not end up stranded or stuck in the same old patterns — something had to give.

Going sober was the first step towards becoming the best version of myself. Oprah Winfrey put it this way: “All of us are seeking the same thing. We share the desire to fulfill the highest, truest expression of ourselves as human beings.” [note]Oprah Winfrey, The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations, Flatiron Books, 2017, p. 8[note]

A State of Grace

The past year without alcohol has been like living in a state of grace — honouring who I am and not who others wish me to be. I’ve been, more than ever, committed to the thing that has called me into service: writing. Every day I write, show up to practice my art and hone my skills. Every day I’m being true to who I am.

Beyond living out my calling to write, going sober has helped me to take better care of myself both physically and mentally. I’m more present, more aware of who I am, what I want to achieve and what I must do to accomplish my goals. I have more energy to get through the day. I’ve lost just over 20 pounds and, through a more challenging running schedule and by paying attention to what I eat, I’ve kept the weight off.

Simply put, there is more clarity — of purpose, of what I’m seeking to do and give back to the world. The journey forward may still not be easy, but I’m in it for the long haul.

Therein lies the why.

Sober, I have the greatest chance of living my best life.

Sober, the world will see the truest expression of who I am.

Sober, I’m headed for my best year ever.

Is there one change you could make that would set you up to live your best year ever? Can you commit to making that change now? Click Reply, or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you!

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, creatives, creativity, focus, fulfillment, purpose, service, sobriety, writers, writers life, writing

Why You Must Hold Fast to Your Dreams

January 2, 2019 by Marcus 1 Comment

Back in 2015, I did something kind of crazy. I declared it my Year of Selfishness. It was going to be ALL about me.

And it was … sort of.

How it all Began

I don’t remember exactly what I was looking for, but scanning the Google search results my eyes landed on “Three Simple Rules for Life”:

  • If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
  • If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
  • If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

Whoa! There it was, in terms so clear, the motive behind my ‘selfishness.’ I wasn’t looking to subscribe to the traditional definition of the root word, selfish: “(Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” as defined by the Oxford Dictionary. The selfishness I embraced was about acknowledging what I wanted to achieve and having the courage to go after it. And since 2015, this concept of selfishness has been my modus operandi.

Put First Things First

SelfishnessIt’s easy to let our creative goals get pushed aside for the wrong reasons. We’re afraid of what people will think if we tell them our dream is to be a writer or dancer. We’re afraid of failing the first time we try, and that can stop us from trying again. Or we feel guilty about taking time to do something that’s burning inside of us when surrounded by familial, work and other responsibilities or pressures.

So, sometimes being selfish is imperative to achieving our dreams, and that means putting yourself first. That can be difficult, and at times, uncomfortable. You don’t want to let down my spouse/partner, friends or family. You don’t want them to feel like you’ve abandoned them. But when you’re not being true to who you are — or if you’re not feeling like you’re moving confidently in the direction of your dreams — how can you be there for anyone else when you haven’t been there for yourself? You’re the one who you’ve abandoned.

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we end up on autopilot and don’t follow through on our heart’s desire. Now it’s time to put first things first. So, maybe that means getting up early (I wake up around 4:00 am to write) or staying up late to have time to focus on your project. Take a vacation day (and don’t tell anyone) to finish the sound editing for your short film. Find a quiet place during your lunch hour (alone) and write the first sentence of the book that’s always been inside of you. And magical things happen when we put first things first.

It Kind of is Now or Never

And for too long, I worried about what others would think if I told them I wanted to be a writer. That was why, in my twenties, I ‘wasted’ a lot of time after graduating from university trying to fit into the nine-to-five world. When I turned thirty, it felt like time suddenly sped up … like I blinked and my thirties were over. In my early forties, it was all I could do just to keep up. But I found the courage to do the things in life that mattered most.

Now, in my mid-forties, some dreams have become reality and I’m living my best years ever. But there’s a lingering sense of urgency, knowing my time on this planet is limited, to rush to get everything else done. And as that temptation to rush intensifies, I teeter on the verge of craziness as other goals and dreams stall. What must I do to get them moving again? And is there enough time in the day to do it all?

So, whatever you dream of doing, do it now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off any longer. It’s no secret. The longer you wait to begin, the longer it’ll take to get to where you want to go.

Hold Fast, Hold Strong

The age-old adage to take life ‘one day at a time’ is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but it’s easier to stay grounded when we’re focused on the day at hand instead of running off to some unforeseeable future. Each step we take, no matter how small, moves us forward. Don’t chastise yourself for things not done. Instead, celebrate writing the first sentence of your book, buying the paint supplies for the new series, or staying up late to start your dream.

Holdfast, hold strong, and don’t ever lose faith. Don’t ever stop believing that you can achieve your passion.

Now is the time to begin, or begin again, no matter where you are.

Are you holding fast to your dreams? Can you be ‘selfish’ enough to make your dreams a priority? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, be who you are, creativity, do what you love, don't give up, dreams, focus, habits, routine, selfishness, writing

Pause and Reflect

December 26, 2018 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Pause and reflectIn this chaotic world we live in, we sometimes neglect ourselves. We can be busy working on our goals, creative or otherwise, putting in long days in the pursuit of our dreams. We’re lost in the noise around us, the people and things clamouring for our attention. But sometimes we need to take a moment for ourselves, to pause and reflect.

Find a Moment

It’s no secret… In the early morning hours, while most people are in bed, I’m up writing. The quietude gives me the perfect opportunity to pause and reflect. Am I doing what I love? Am I where I want to be? What can I be doing differently? These are some of the questions I ask myself, that I come back to over and over again.

At this time of year especially (you’ve made it through the Christmas rush!), it’s easy to lose sight of our goals and everything else that’s important to us. Plowing through each day, we don’t always see the opportunities before us, unsure of the direction we should steer ourselves in.

Can you find a moment in your day to pause and reflect?

Life is Speaking to You

Every day, every moment, life is speaking to you. At some point today, take five minutes to pause and reflect — and hear life speaking to you. You may be surprised by what you learn.

Do you take time to pause and reflect? What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself or about your journey? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: dreams, focus, life, life lessons, pause and reflect, slow down

Get in the Habit of Doing What You Love

December 12, 2018 by Marcus 5 Comments

write every dayI write every day. No matter where I am — in Toronto or London — I write. Some days writing isn’t easy, especially after a long flight when I’ve been up all night. Even as my eyelids sag, I’ll sit down at the desk in my hotel room and write. I might write 250 words or the first draft of a short story or blog post. But I write.

Showing up every day to do the one thing you’re most passionate about takes courage. It shows you’re committed, no matter what the odds. It’s the way to hone your skills and become better. It gets you excited and keeps the momentum going. Do it long enough, without fail, and it’ll show you who you really are.

It’s Not Easy

Nothing happens overnight. For habits to stick, it takes time and repetition. Believe in yourself, that you can, and will, succeed. Remain faithful to the cause. And remember … begin where you are. You’ll slip up and make mistakes, but you’ll survive.

Keep going. In the long-term, you’ll be better off for it.

Are you trying to create a new habit? How’s it working out? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, be who you are, creativity, do what you love, don't give up, focus, habits, routine, writing

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