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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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On Perfectionism

January 13, 2023 by Marcus 2 Comments

The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection. –  Goethe

I am, for better or for worse, the poster boy for perfectionism. I’m the type who aspires to cross my t’s and dot my i’s. It means I’m setting incredibly high expectations for myself. And Unbelievably so. In everything that I do. So, when I fail … Lord, have mercy, you don’t want to be in my sights. Because I’m angry at myself for missing the mark, and that doesn’t make me nice to be around. [Read more…] about On Perfectionism

Filed Under: Motivation Tagged With: life lessons, motivation, perfectionism, writers

A Final Shoutout to 2022

December 8, 2022 by Marcus 1 Comment

looking back

I don’t know about you, but 2022 seemed to fly by. It might not have been the year that I’d hoped it would be, but it wasn’t a complete write off, either. Looking back, 2022 offered some really memorable moments… [Read more…] about A Final Shoutout to 2022

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: change, writers, writing life, year in review

It’s Okay to Go Slow

November 24, 2022 by Marcus Leave a Comment

okay to go slow
2019 Toronto Waterfront Marathon

I learned a lot of lessons that stuck with me when I was training for the 2019 Toronto Waterfront Marathon. One in particular stands out: It’s okay to go slow. Because as I reviewed my training plan and saw the 26k training runs (or longer distances) I would have to run, I was panicking. How was I going to run that far? The answer was, of course, that I would have to go at a slower pace — because it wasn’t the race. But I had to learn to be okay with going slow. It was the only way for me to cover the distance.

As the end of the year draws closer, I am thinking more about my life — where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m still looking to go. Maybe, too, it is because in some areas of my life things are going well, but in others I’m not exactly where I had hoped to be. Specifically with my writing, as there have been a few setbacks that have forced me to delay the release of my next novel. And this has again made me realize that sometimes it is okay to go slow.

Remember What is True

I am a writer. That is true. I know that because every day I write no matter what, usually in the early quiet hours and sometimes in the evening. Writing has always been the thing that grounds me, gives me a sense of purpose in what sometimes feels like a chaotic world … especially on the days that are a struggle.

A struggle, yes, because I constantly get snarled in the comparison trap (even though I know better!). And because, when I’m honest with myself, I’m really not sure how to define success when it comes to my writing. Is it just based on the number of books sold? Is it about proving to my doubters that they were wrong? Is it my commitment to show up every day and write no matter what?

Maybe it’s all those things and more. Or less.

What is true, then, is that even on my best days I’m a little lost in the wilderness. And that’s okay. It’s why, now, I’m okay to go slow so that I can, as Ray Dalio advises, “Think for yourself to decide 1) what you want, 2) what is true, and 3) what you should do to achieve #1 in light of #2 … and do that with humility and open-mindedness so that you can consider the best thinking available to you.” [note]Ray Dalio, Principles, Simon & Schuster, 2017, p. X.[/note]

It’s Okay to Go Slow

The paradox is that there is both urgency and a need to slow down. The urgency is that I’m turning fifty next August, and because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, I want to make sure I’m doing everything to live intentionally. To make sure that I do what’s in my heart and to not leave anything undone. But there is also, at times, a necessity to slow down and reevaluate. Because reaching the destination is just as important as enjoying journey.

Yes, it’s okay to go slow. As Mahatma Gandhi reminded us, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.”

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: doubt, life lessons, success, writers, writing, writing life

The COVID Paradox Redux

October 6, 2022 by Marcus Leave a Comment

covid

I honestly thought that it would not happen to me. Until it did. Yesterday (Wednesday) morning. When I tested positive for COVID-19.

For some [definitely erroneous] reason, I wanted to believe that I was immune because had I not done everything right to escape it? When the Ontario government lifted the mask mandate last March, I kept mine on because I work in a public-facing customer service position. In fact, I wear two masks and gloves. In the grocery store, on public transit, at the pharmacy … I still wear a mask. My mask only comes off when eating lunch and upon my return home. I put on a mask even for the short trips down the hall to the garbage and mail rooms. I did not want to take any chances. [Read more…] about The COVID Paradox Redux

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: COVID-19, writers, writing life

Crash and Burn

September 22, 2022 by Marcus 1 Comment

crash and burn

In my recent four-part blog series, “On Becoming a Digital Minimalist,” I wrote about how I was changing my relationship with technology and how I use it. The ultimate goal — and a constant work-in-progress — is to live an intentional, purpose-driven life where I focus on what is most important to me. It means cutting out the noise and chatter to work in a distraction-free state.

But it cannot be all work and no play. This lesson was — again — brought home to me when, this past weekend, I was so exhausted I could barely focus. I also ended up breaking my streaming rule, watching three movies. Too tired to think and focus, it was a constant battle throughout Saturday just to keep my eyes open. [Read more…] about Crash and Burn

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: live your best life, productivity, rest, writers, writing life

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