Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

writing life

Never Say Never

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never say never

Never say never…

Throughout all the years I had been running, I’d said I’d never run a marathon. I’d completed a few half-marathons, but a full one? Nope, not for me. Then in 2019, I ran (and completed) the Toronto Waterfront Marathon.

In the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic, and terrified of catching the virus — and safe at home alone and locked down — I said I would never step foot in a gym again. Not even the one in my condo building. Then on Tuesday, 25 October 2022, there I was entering Barry’s on Richmond Street for my first HIIT class.

Although those are just two examples of me saying, “I’ll never do that,” it always seems to be at some point I end up eating crow. Never say never, right? [Read more…] about Never Say Never

A Life Worth Living

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a life worth living

As we near the end of the year (it’s closer than you think), I become a bit more reflective. Am I really focused on what matters? What more can I do to fulfill my dreams? How can I be of service? Mulling over those questions, I am thinking more about how I can live a life worth living.

Life isn’t easy at the moment. Inflation is on the rise. We are still dealing with COVID-19. The war continues in Ukraine. Millions of people are struggling to make ends meet. There are a lot of reasons to give up, to crawl into a deep, dark hole and stay there. Working with the public, there are many, many days when I want to build a cabin in the woods protected behind fortified walls. No one in or out. All of those things together have me asking other questions: How do I stay focused and sane? How do I throw off the doubt and fear? How do I cut myself off from the noise? [Read more…] about A Life Worth Living

Change is Hard

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change is hard

At the beginning of October, I received an e-mail with the subject line: “Your Last 3 Months of 2022.” The e-mail was from Jeff Fajans, a creative performance consultant with whom I had worked in the past. I did not open it — not until yesterday — because the subject line alone sent me into a tailspin. Three months left in 2022? WTF? For the previous nine months, I had been chastising myself for not doing more, for ‘wasting’ time, for being unfocused. I knew I had to change, but sometimes change is hard. Still, was I going to spend the last three months of the year doing the same thing?

Facing Reality

Last week, I finally sat down at my desk and took time to look at everything that I want to do before the end of the year. In some cases, it is a matter of what I need to get started on. But to make any sort of real progress, I knew I needed more than a mental game plan. I had to write it down and face reality. I needed a plan to hold me to account … because change is hard.

I cannot tell you how uncomfortable writing out the plan made me. Seeing all the goals on paper — and the concrete actions I would need to take to achieve them — had me, once again, doubting myself and my worth. Could I really do it? Who do I think I am? At what point will I fail? The negative chatter was trying to hold me back before I even made it out of the gate. Because change is hard, and I was already looking for any excuse to let myself fail. [Read more…] about Change is Hard

Time for a Reset

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time for a reset

It was bound to happen. And it did. In a spectacular fashion. But if I am being honest, I think I knew it would. Despite the rules. Despite telling myself I was committed. And despite knowing how it could potentially change my life if I just stuck to the plan. So, on my journey to become a digital minimalist, it is [begrudgingly] time for a reset.

Bending Reality

The height of the pandemic — when we were at home and locked down — was a period I look back on with nostalgia. Why? Because it was a time when I thrived. Financially, it was tough, but it was also then that I was free. Free from a job for which I had lost enthusiasm. Free from many social norms that I had always been at odds with. And especially free to do the things I loved (write, run, read, cook/bake) every day.

As the world began to open up again, I desperately wanted to hang on to that state of being, somehow bend reality to make it last longer. While it was good that we were moving out of the pandemic and back to ‘normalcy,’ I knew that I could not go back to the way things used to be. I could not go back to my old job, could not keep doing the same thing over and over. In almost every area of my life, that meant it was time for a reset. [Read more…] about Time for a Reset