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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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creativity

Writing Sober: One Year Later

January 16, 2019 by Marcus 5 Comments

Something ‘magical’ happened a year ago. Then, however, I didn’t know how much it would change my life, how much it would change the script.

On 17 January 2018, I stopped drinking.

I need a moment to let that sink in. I’ve been sober for one year. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes.

“Why?” many of my friends asked with bewilderment as much as curiosity. I stopped drinking — not because I was pressured to, not because I didn’t know my limit, not because alcohol was ravaging my life — because I had to get my house in order.

Call it an aha moment, a day of reckoning, an epiphany. Naming it isn’t important. But to fulfill my calling and be of service, things needed to change. To keep moving in the direction of my dreams, I had to clean up my own backyard.

Hitting Rock Bottom

Sometimes life speaks to you, yet you purposely ignore what her advice. That was me. By the end of 2018, I’d spent the previous two years on autopilot. Doing the same things over and over again, moving forward yet never feeling like I was getting ahead. Then ending up exhausted and tired of being in my doctor’s office, wanting to know why I wasn’t just sick but still sick. Tired of complaining of fatigue. Tired of the long bouts of insomnia.

Headed for some type of breakdown, it was time for an intervention because I wasn’t ‘happy’ with my life. I wasn’t where I wanted to be or living the life I’d imagined. And if I wanted to bring that vision to life — and not end up stranded or stuck in the same old patterns — something had to give.

Going sober was the first step towards becoming the best version of myself. Oprah Winfrey put it this way: “All of us are seeking the same thing. We share the desire to fulfill the highest, truest expression of ourselves as human beings.” [note]Oprah Winfrey, The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations, Flatiron Books, 2017, p. 8[note]

A State of Grace

The past year without alcohol has been like living in a state of grace — honouring who I am and not who others wish me to be. I’ve been, more than ever, committed to the thing that has called me into service: writing. Every day I write, show up to practice my art and hone my skills. Every day I’m being true to who I am.

Beyond living out my calling to write, going sober has helped me to take better care of myself both physically and mentally. I’m more present, more aware of who I am, what I want to achieve and what I must do to accomplish my goals. I have more energy to get through the day. I’ve lost just over 20 pounds and, through a more challenging running schedule and by paying attention to what I eat, I’ve kept the weight off.

Simply put, there is more clarity — of purpose, of what I’m seeking to do and give back to the world. The journey forward may still not be easy, but I’m in it for the long haul.

Therein lies the why.

Sober, I have the greatest chance of living my best life.

Sober, the world will see the truest expression of who I am.

Sober, I’m headed for my best year ever.

Is there one change you could make that would set you up to live your best year ever? Can you commit to making that change now? Click Reply, or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you!

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, creatives, creativity, focus, fulfillment, purpose, service, sobriety, writers, writers life, writing

Why You Must Hold Fast to Your Dreams

January 2, 2019 by Marcus 1 Comment

Back in 2015, I did something kind of crazy. I declared it my Year of Selfishness. It was going to be ALL about me.

And it was … sort of.

How it all Began

I don’t remember exactly what I was looking for, but scanning the Google search results my eyes landed on “Three Simple Rules for Life”:

  • If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
  • If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
  • If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

Whoa! There it was, in terms so clear, the motive behind my ‘selfishness.’ I wasn’t looking to subscribe to the traditional definition of the root word, selfish: “(Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” as defined by the Oxford Dictionary. The selfishness I embraced was about acknowledging what I wanted to achieve and having the courage to go after it. And since 2015, this concept of selfishness has been my modus operandi.

Put First Things First

SelfishnessIt’s easy to let our creative goals get pushed aside for the wrong reasons. We’re afraid of what people will think if we tell them our dream is to be a writer or dancer. We’re afraid of failing the first time we try, and that can stop us from trying again. Or we feel guilty about taking time to do something that’s burning inside of us when surrounded by familial, work and other responsibilities or pressures.

So, sometimes being selfish is imperative to achieving our dreams, and that means putting yourself first. That can be difficult, and at times, uncomfortable. You don’t want to let down my spouse/partner, friends or family. You don’t want them to feel like you’ve abandoned them. But when you’re not being true to who you are — or if you’re not feeling like you’re moving confidently in the direction of your dreams — how can you be there for anyone else when you haven’t been there for yourself? You’re the one who you’ve abandoned.

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we end up on autopilot and don’t follow through on our heart’s desire. Now it’s time to put first things first. So, maybe that means getting up early (I wake up around 4:00 am to write) or staying up late to have time to focus on your project. Take a vacation day (and don’t tell anyone) to finish the sound editing for your short film. Find a quiet place during your lunch hour (alone) and write the first sentence of the book that’s always been inside of you. And magical things happen when we put first things first.

It Kind of is Now or Never

And for too long, I worried about what others would think if I told them I wanted to be a writer. That was why, in my twenties, I ‘wasted’ a lot of time after graduating from university trying to fit into the nine-to-five world. When I turned thirty, it felt like time suddenly sped up … like I blinked and my thirties were over. In my early forties, it was all I could do just to keep up. But I found the courage to do the things in life that mattered most.

Now, in my mid-forties, some dreams have become reality and I’m living my best years ever. But there’s a lingering sense of urgency, knowing my time on this planet is limited, to rush to get everything else done. And as that temptation to rush intensifies, I teeter on the verge of craziness as other goals and dreams stall. What must I do to get them moving again? And is there enough time in the day to do it all?

So, whatever you dream of doing, do it now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off any longer. It’s no secret. The longer you wait to begin, the longer it’ll take to get to where you want to go.

Hold Fast, Hold Strong

The age-old adage to take life ‘one day at a time’ is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but it’s easier to stay grounded when we’re focused on the day at hand instead of running off to some unforeseeable future. Each step we take, no matter how small, moves us forward. Don’t chastise yourself for things not done. Instead, celebrate writing the first sentence of your book, buying the paint supplies for the new series, or staying up late to start your dream.

Holdfast, hold strong, and don’t ever lose faith. Don’t ever stop believing that you can achieve your passion.

Now is the time to begin, or begin again, no matter where you are.

Are you holding fast to your dreams? Can you be ‘selfish’ enough to make your dreams a priority? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, be who you are, creativity, do what you love, don't give up, dreams, focus, habits, routine, selfishness, writing

Get in the Habit of Doing What You Love

December 12, 2018 by Marcus 5 Comments

write every dayI write every day. No matter where I am — in Toronto or London — I write. Some days writing isn’t easy, especially after a long flight when I’ve been up all night. Even as my eyelids sag, I’ll sit down at the desk in my hotel room and write. I might write 250 words or the first draft of a short story or blog post. But I write.

Showing up every day to do the one thing you’re most passionate about takes courage. It shows you’re committed, no matter what the odds. It’s the way to hone your skills and become better. It gets you excited and keeps the momentum going. Do it long enough, without fail, and it’ll show you who you really are.

It’s Not Easy

Nothing happens overnight. For habits to stick, it takes time and repetition. Believe in yourself, that you can, and will, succeed. Remain faithful to the cause. And remember … begin where you are. You’ll slip up and make mistakes, but you’ll survive.

Keep going. In the long-term, you’ll be better off for it.

Are you trying to create a new habit? How’s it working out? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, be who you are, creativity, do what you love, don't give up, focus, habits, routine, writing

Why the Rush? Or Why it’s Important to Go Slow

December 5, 2018 by Marcus 4 Comments

Why the rush?

Some days I can’t help but rush, even though I know I need to go slow. It usually means that I’m trying to keep the momentum of a productive day going. But rushing doesn’t get me anywhere. It does the opposite. It trips me up, leaves me spinning. And then I’m always asking the question: why the rush?

Full Throttle

why the rushAs many of you know, I’m an early bird. On November 1, I’d been up since 4:15 am, and enjoyed a productive morning of writing and running before heading to the Princess Margaret Cancer Centre to visit a friend. On the way home from the hospital, I decided to pick up fresh burgers for dinner from the Healthy Butcher on Queen Street West. They also carry homemade buns, so I wanted a couple of them, too.

I was rushing. I wanted to be home to keep the momentum going on my writing. As I picked up a bun with the tongs, trying to shove it in the bag that wouldn’t stay open, it dropped to the floor. I looked around the store, hoping no one was watching, and scrambled to pick it up with the tongs. I couldn’t do it. Each time I almost had it in the bag it fell again. Inside my head, there was an explosion of expletives. I finally got it into the bag, then went for another one. Still rushing. And, Shazam! The second bun hit the floor, too. Three attempts later, it, too, was in the bag. I drew in a deep breath, headed for the counter to pay for my purchases and then, cursing under my breath, headed home.

Why? Why the Rush?

I needed to slow down. I needed to enjoy the moment.

Chasing down a big dream or goal, I get excited when I feel the end’s in sight. But there’s something to be said for slowing down and enjoying the process. It grounds me, let’s me see what’s working and what may need to be tweaked. Better than that, slowing down reveals what me and my project can become.

Life isn’t a race. It’s a journey. Take time to enjoy it!

Do you sometimes feel like you’re rushing? Can you recognize it and slow down? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: creativity, do not rush, focus, life lessons, productivity, writing

When is Your Most Productive Time to Create?

November 14, 2018 by Marcus Leave a Comment

The ticking of the wall clock in the living room. Outside, the rumble of cars on the nearby Gardiner expressway. The staggered snore crashing through the bedroom wall into my office space. Apart from those noises, it’s quiet as I sit down to write. Of course, it’s 4:00 am and most normal people are in bed. But I’m not ‘normal’ … don’t really think I’ve ever been. Being up in the early morning hours for me is perfect, though. It’s an awesome time of the day when I can hear myself think. It’s just me and the words flowing through me. It’s a little slice of heaven here on earth. It’s my most productive time to create.

My Most Productive Time to Create

While I’ve always been a morning person, it took time to figure out when I did my best creative thinking. I had established a writing routine, which always started early in the morning. But I also had to learn to write anywhere and at any time if I wanted to finish a project. I didn’t want to be the author who took ten years to write one book. So, when I was trapped in the nine-to-five world, I wrote on my lunch hour and again after work, holing myself up in a local coffee shop. I wrote in airport lounges and on the train. I didn’t have any more excuses. I wasn’t waiting for inspiration.

What I’ve learned over the years is that the early morning, as the rest of the world is still lost in their dreams, is my most productive time to create. It’s the time when I can quickly produce a draft, hold my focus as I rewrite a challenging scene, see what’s working in a piece and what’s not. It’s when I’m at my best, when there’s clarity in all things.

Find Your Rhythm

We’re not all same. And we’ll find our most productive time to create at different points throughout the day. Maya Angelou wrote early in the morning … in a hotel room. For Stephen King, “Mornings belong to whatever is new—the current composition. […] Basically, mornings are my prime writing time.”[note]Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, Scribner, 2000, p. 152[/note]

Take a moment to look at your day — the moments when you’re creating and see if you can pull out when you’ve been the most prolific, the most juiced. Was it in the evening, the afternoon or at one o’clock in the morning? Where were you? In your home office? At the local coffee shop? In bed? When you’re able to pinpoint that moment in your day when you’re doing your best work, and then stick to it, you’ll feel like providence just moved. You’ll feel like Stella, and you’ll get your groove back.

Be Open to Change

Things change. When I first found my most productive time to create, it was in the morning, between nine and noon. I don’t know why, but after a while that period became less productive for me. It was too easy to be pulled away. If it was sunny, I’d go for a run. The traffic noise seeping into the condo frustrated me. Friends who had the day off would text, “Let’s grab lunch,” and I’d bolt out the door. Learning to focus on what matters most, I started getting up earlier. Nowadays, I’m up around 3:30 or 4:00 am, and quickly get into the ‘zone’ that has my pen gliding across the page or my fingers dancing across the keyboard.

If you see your creative production slide, maybe it’s time to re-examine your schedule and change things up. It may help you get back to basics, help you to push on and finish something.

When is your most productive time to create? Hit Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: creatives, creativity, productivity, stay focused, writing, writing life

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