Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

running

Starting from Zero

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I’m starting from zero. And it’s hard. It means ‘forgetting’ everything I’ve learned, everything I know. Especially when my instinct tells me to just press on, to keep going as if nothing has happened. As if everything is normal. But everything isn’t normal. Because I screwed up. Royally.

Running Through the Pain

I don’t remember when exactly the pain started in my foot. I just remember how, when my goal was a 15-km run, my foot began to throb when I hit 12 km. At that point, I still had to get home. And as the pain seared my foot with each step, I slowed my pace, eventually running with a pronounced limp. Maybe no one else noticed that I was limping, but I did. And I couldn’t wait to be home.

Stubbornness. That’s what told me to keep running through the pain. Running has become as big a part of my morning routine as my morning cup of java that I didn’t want to give it up. Didn’t want to go through ‘withdrawal.’ I pressed on. Mistake!

Denial Mode

I wanted to believe my foot pain was a result of worn out shoes. So, I bought a new pair. The pain didn’t go away. Bought two different pairs of insoles. Still … pain. Yet, I kept running. Even when my first steps in the morning (plantar fasciitis) brought tears to my eyes, I ran. Until running even ten kilometres required multiple stops. That was when I knew I couldn’t, like with previous injuries, just run through the pain and hope that everything would be okay. I had to stop living in denial mode. Time to face reality. Starting from zero was the only option.

Starting from Zero

starting from zeroI stopped running. Well, I did for five days. On the sixth day when I ran again, the pain was less but it was time for a reset. As hard and frustrating as it is, I’m running about every second day, and no more than five kilometres. I’m being more intentional about pre- and post-stretching sessions. Getting back to basics, per se.

Starting from zero gives perspective — about what’s working and what’s not, and what needs to be done differently. Not just with running, but in so many areas of my life. It’s an opportunity to assess where I am and where I’m hoping to go, and if the plan to get me there is the right one. Or are adjustments needed? But the hope, as I slow things down, is that I’m come out on top stronger and better off for it.

Have you ever had to start from zero? What was its biggest lesson? Click Reply to share your thoughts.

Running from Dogs

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Really, I was just running from one dog. And I thought I was a goner.

It happened Tuesday (24 March) during my morning run as I headed west along Queen Street towards Lansdowne. And it was early, probably around 5:45 am as I was only about twenty minutes into my run. And in these days of social distancing, it’s the perfect time to be out and about. The streets, sidewalks and trails are pretty empty. At that time of day, I see the odd runner, someone waiting to catch a bus, and a person walking their dog. It’s more or less clear sailing.

A Dog with Purpose

When I run, music (a medley of gospel — the handclapping, foot-stomping, arms-waving kind that gets people dancing in their seats or the church aisle) streams through my earphones. And I go into a zone. I’m aware of my surroundings, but just enough to make sure no vehicles are coming when I jaywalk through intersections; or to dodge the cars barreling through stop signs and red lights.

Yesterday, I saw the dog walking with its owner, but it was too far away — and too dark — to tell if it was on a leash. Normally, when I approach a dog and its owner, I give them a wide berth as I pass, stepping off into the road if necessary. Don’t want to spook either of them. This dog (not quite the size of a Great Dane but close) saw me coming and stopped in its tracks while the owner kept walking. I slowed down as I neared, not sure on what side to pass, and then it happened.

Charge!

dogThe dog, barking louder than the music streaming through my earphones, charged straight for me. Leapt off the ground with each pounce. Dove low, still barking, and it looked like I was about to lose a big chunk out of my leg. It wasn’t until I ended up thrusting myself against a storefront, hand on my chest and feeling my heart jackhammering inside, that the owner finally spun around and saw me.

His mouth opened, lips moved, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying because I didn’t move and the music still blared in my ears. And the dog was pitching right, then left, then right again. I had nowhere to escape.

I lifted my hand slowly and removed one of my earphones.

“She just wants to play,” the owner said.

Stunned. Did I just hear him right? Again, I didn’t say a word. Still too stunned and too afraid to make any sudden movements. And here’s the thing. I love dogs, and often when I’m out running errands there are always a few tugging on their leash to say hello. But this dog came charging.

“She just wants to play,” the owner repeated. A few minutes later, she was brushing up against me and licking my hands.

She just said wants to play, I thought when the owner finally — after three attempts — grabbed the leash trailing on the ground. The moment the dog was secured, as nice as she turned out to be, I bolted down the street, offering a terse, “Have a good day,” as the distance grew between us.

What a way to introduce yourself!

Living in Challenging Times

The COVID-19 pandemic has upended all our lives. It is stressful and uncertain, and despite the fact that I’ll be laid off from my day job in the next few days, I’m trying to stay positive. Actually, I see it as an opportunity to change my life. I haven’t really been enjoying what I’ve been doing, have been talking about making a change and suddenly — voluntarily or not — I find myself in a position to do something about it. So, in the weeks and months ahead, I’ll be embarking on a new journey.

In the meantime, I’m making the most of my days — running, writing, cooking, reading, and tackling the home projects I’ve been putting off.

How are you and your loved ones managing? Click Reply to let me know because we’re all in this together.

Stay safe!

Kindness is the Key

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Walking home the other day from the grocery store, I’d zoned out. I was running ahead in my mind thinking about what was next on my to-do list. The world around me had fallen away. Until…

“Hey! Hey, man!”

I heard it, but ignored it. Surely it wasn’t directed at me.

“Hey, man. Where’d you get that?”

I turned my head in the direction of the voice and saw a man leaning out the window of his pickup truck across the street.

“Did you get that at Loblaws?” the guy asked, pointing at the package of Cashmere Ultra wedged under my arm.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Any left?”

“There were five left on the shelf.”

He shrugged. “Thanks. I’ll check to see if there are any left.”

kindness
Empty toilet paper and paper towels shelves at Loblaws (21 March 2020)

I started to walk away, then I noticed the police cruiser parked behind the truck. The guy had been pulled over for something and was waiting on his ticket. So, I kept walking. But when I reached the corner, I spun around and looked back at the truck. It was still there, the police officer handing over the ticket. By the time the man made it to Loblaws, I figured the toilet paper would be gone. And that would suck.

The light turned green, and everyone around me crossed the street. I stood there, unable to make up my mind — keep walking or share my toilet paper. We had enough at home to get us through for a bit. I’d picked up the package because it was finally on the shelf, a rarity during these COVID-19 days. The officer was still standing next to the vehicle, and from where I stood having a nice little chat with the guy he’d just ticketed. Then he moved off, and I hurriedly retraced my steps.

“Hey,” I called out just as the truck pulled away from the curb. The driver hit the breaks and looked at me. “Do you need some?”

“Yeah,” he said.

I jetted across the street to the passenger side, tore open the package and started handing his wife rolls of toilet paper. “I’ll give you half.”

By the fifth roll, the woman said, “Oh, that’s really enough. You’re too kind. Can we give you any money?”

“Absolutely not. It’s the same everywhere. Nothing on the shelves.”

“God bless you,” she said and repeated it a second time as the truck started to roll.

Kindness is the Key

Lately during my runs through the streets of Toronto, I’ve noticed a sign posted in the windows of restaurants and shops shut down because of COVID-19. It reads:

We’re All in This Together

Yes, we’re all in this together. And kindness is the key.

Be Kind

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Let me tell you something…

One reason I’m trying to stay off the grid this year is because of all the negativity in the world. The constant complaining … about anything and everything. The madness of materialism and the compulsion to have the newest and latest of everything … all in the pursuit of ‘happiness.’ The me-me-me economy. I realized I needed a break from the nonstop deluge because I was starting to give up on humanity. That meant pulling back from social media and a lot of other areas in my life. [Read more…] about Be Kind

The Power of “I Will”

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Growing up isn’t easy. And Scott Davenport must choose: live his life or run away from it?

Raw and rich in emotion, Broken Man Broke is a thought-provoking coming-of-age story about identity, belonging, and purpose. Lopés reminds us that not everyone sees us for who we are and that sometimes — amid the chaos threatening to destroy us — we’re not sure who we are or what we stand for.

A powerful coming-of-age story coming November 21, 2019. Pre-order today!

What would you do if you were given a 5% chance of ever walking again?

Some people might give up. Rob MacDonald proved the odds wrong.

I met Rob last Saturday (19 October 2019) after participating in the International Friendship Run at the Running, Health & Fitness Expo that was part of the weekend events for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon. When I’d signed up for the race in July, it was to check off another item from my bucket list. I never liked fundraising or asking people for money. In the past, if I had to fundraise, I’d set a goal that — outside of a few donations — I could cover personally. So, my plan for the Toronto marathon was to donate to a couple of charities, but not run for a team.

That all changed the day before the race when I met Rob. Here was a guy, who been given a 5% chance of ever walking again, about to run his second full marathon. Inspiring. Motivating. Empowering. I decided to join ‘Team I Will.’ The Toronto Rehab Foundation gave Rob a second chance. I’d love for you to learn more about Rob’s a story and how you can help. Read more here.

Making it Personal

i willI was in university when my grandmother was rushed to the hospital. She was in her mid-seventies (75 or 76) and had to have her leg amputated due to diabetes. The doctors weren’t convinced she’d make it off the operating table. But she did. I believe partly because of her unwavering faith, partly because she had a strong will to live. I spent time with her every day for the four months of rehab that got her out of the hospital. The dedication, training and encouragement from her rehab team gave her a second chance. While she chose not to walk with a prosthetic leg, she was still an active and outgoing person with a positive attitude. She knew the power of ‘I Will,’ and showed me I could do whatever I set my mind to with will and determination.

Getting it Together

I spent fifteen weeks training for the Toronto Waterfront Marathon. The power of ‘I Will’ was never more present on those mornings when, at 5:15 am, I’d set out for a 30 km run. Or when it was raining. Or when, with the humidity, it was close to 38°C. Some runs were a struggle, but I told myself I could do it, to keep on keeping on.

On race day, I was excited, confident and nervous. Would my training pay off? I worried about tapering in the last few weeks because I wasn’t sure how not running as much would help. Could I really run 42.2 km? The most distance I’d covered during training was 37 km, and that run hurt. What if I got injured during the race? Would it sideline me? I didn’t want to be the person you sometimes see being treated by medics along the race route.

This was my first full marathon; I’d last run a half-marathon in 2010. When I registered for the race, I had to pick a finishing time so I’d start in the right corral. I arbitrarily picked 3:50. I had a three-tiered goal: 1) Finish, 2) Run the 42.2 km in under four hours, and 3) Aim to finish in 3:50. The more I trained, and after I’d joined a running group, the more I came to doubt myself. Seasoned marathoners hinted my goal was ambitious for a first-timer. Others readily shared horror stories of how their friends trained and trained, and then injured themselves two days before a race. I started to doubt myself. But during my runs, I told myself, ‘I will do this. I can do this. I won’t allow anyone else to limit what I can and cannot do.’

The Power of ‘I Will’

The gun went off and I started to run. For the first ten kilometres, I stayed with the pacer who’d get us across the finish line in three hours and fifty minutes before pulling ahead slightly. Maybe it was that race-day high, but I wondered if I could even come in a little under of my 3:50 goal. Even with my training, there were times during the race when I struggled. I reminded myself that just getting across the finish line was a win. And I had a moment, around the 32 km mark, when I wasn’t sure I could do it. That was when I started repeating to myself, “I will do this.” And at that point, the pain in my right foot hurt so much I wanted to stop. Every time my foot hit the asphalt, the pain shot through me. But I pushed on and said, “I will do this. There is no pain, only joy. Marcus, you’ve got this.”

And I did do it. I crossed the finish line, completing the race in 3:49:18.

As Rob told Team I Will at the post-race celebration, ‘I will…’ can carry you through any goal — physical, creative, professional — that you set out to achieve. Let ‘I Will’ be your mantra. Let it help you become the best version of yourself.

Are you struggling to achieve a certain goal? Can you take one action right now that would move you and your goal forward? What is it? Click Reply to let me know. I love hearing from you!