LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner
I don’t know about you, but 2022 seemed to fly by. It might not have been the year that I’d hoped it would be, but it wasn’t a complete write off, either. Looking back, 2022 offered some really memorable moments… [Read more…] about A Final Shoutout to 2022
I don’t wait for inspiration. I never have. To become a writer, I learned to write every day. No matter what, no matter when.
In the beginning, after I realized that I wanted to write, it wasn’t easy finding the time to put words to the page. At the time, I was in university, and my love for words overwhelmed. When I should have been studying or writing term papers, I was writing very bad stories and having fun at open mic nights. I don’t know how I finished my degree when I was channelling most of my efforts into writing.
And for every 9-5ish job I have had, I have always woken up early to write. Either in a coffeeshop before heading to the office or at home. And I would spend my lunch hour writing. During my time as a flight attendant, I wrote after a long flight to London or Copenhagen or Dublin. It did not matter that I had been up all night or that my eyelids sagged, I sat down at the desk in my hotel room—or ventured to a nearby cafe—to write. It became a habit.
Some days, I manage a scant 250 words. Other days, it can be anywhere between 1,200 and 2,00 words. The point is this: I write. No matter how I feel, no matter my level of motivation. I don’t worry about how perfect it is or if anyone will like it. I just write every day.
Because this is what I have learned. When you show up every day to do the one thing you’re most passionate about, it is a sign of your commitment. It moves you closer to the end game, and ups the odds in your favour. When you write every day, it hones your skills and helps you become better.
When I write every day, it brings excitement at seeing the progress being made, and it keeps the momentum going. Do it long enough, without fail, and it’ll show you who you really are.
I learned a lot of lessons that stuck with me when I was training for the 2019 Toronto Waterfront Marathon. One in particular stands out: It’s okay to go slow. Because as I reviewed my training plan and saw the 26k training runs (or longer distances) I would have to run, I was panicking. How was I going to run that far? The answer was, of course, that I would have to go at a slower pace — because it wasn’t the race. But I had to learn to be okay with going slow. It was the only way for me to cover the distance.
As the end of the year draws closer, I am thinking more about my life — where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m still looking to go. Maybe, too, it is because in some areas of my life things are going well, but in others I’m not exactly where I had hoped to be. Specifically with my writing, as there have been a few setbacks that have forced me to delay the release of my next novel. And this has again made me realize that sometimes it is okay to go slow.
I am a writer. That is true. I know that because every day I write no matter what, usually in the early quiet hours and sometimes in the evening. Writing has always been the thing that grounds me, gives me a sense of purpose in what sometimes feels like a chaotic world … especially on the days that are a struggle.
A struggle, yes, because I constantly get snarled in the comparison trap (even though I know better!). And because, when I’m honest with myself, I’m really not sure how to define success when it comes to my writing. Is it just based on the number of books sold? Is it about proving to my doubters that they were wrong? Is it my commitment to show up every day and write no matter what?
Maybe it’s all those things and more. Or less.
What is true, then, is that even on my best days I’m a little lost in the wilderness. And that’s okay. It’s why, now, I’m okay to go slow so that I can, as Ray Dalio advises, “Think for yourself to decide 1) what you want, 2) what is true, and 3) what you should do to achieve #1 in light of #2 … and do that with humility and open-mindedness so that you can consider the best thinking available to you.” [note]Ray Dalio, Principles, Simon & Schuster, 2017, p. X.[/note]
The paradox is that there is both urgency and a need to slow down. The urgency is that I’m turning fifty next August, and because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, I want to make sure I’m doing everything to live intentionally. To make sure that I do what’s in my heart and to not leave anything undone. But there is also, at times, a necessity to slow down and reevaluate. Because reaching the destination is just as important as enjoying journey.
Yes, it’s okay to go slow. As Mahatma Gandhi reminded us, “There is more to life than increasing its speed.”
Never say never…
Throughout all the years I had been running, I’d said I’d never run a marathon. I’d completed a few half-marathons, but a full one? Nope, not for me. Then in 2019, I ran (and completed) the Toronto Waterfront Marathon.
In the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic, and terrified of catching the virus — and safe at home alone and locked down — I said I would never step foot in a gym again. Not even the one in my condo building. Then on Tuesday, 25 October 2022, there I was entering Barry’s on Richmond Street for my first HIIT class.
Although those are just two examples of me saying, “I’ll never do that,” it always seems to be at some point I end up eating crow. Never say never, right? [Read more…] about Never Say Never
As we near the end of the year (it’s closer than you think), I become a bit more reflective. Am I really focused on what matters? What more can I do to fulfill my dreams? How can I be of service? Mulling over those questions, I am thinking more about how I can live a life worth living.
Life isn’t easy at the moment. Inflation is on the rise. We are still dealing with COVID-19. The war continues in Ukraine. Millions of people are struggling to make ends meet. There are a lot of reasons to give up, to crawl into a deep, dark hole and stay there. Working with the public, there are many, many days when I want to build a cabin in the woods protected behind fortified walls. No one in or out. All of those things together have me asking other questions: How do I stay focused and sane? How do I throw off the doubt and fear? How do I cut myself off from the noise? [Read more…] about A Life Worth Living