Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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A New Year. A ‘New’ Way of Being

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a'new' way of being

Towards the end of November 2023, and as the year began to wind down, something became crystal clear to me: I was wasting a lot of time. I was too often reaching for my phone. I tried to do things—write, organize my expenses, bake/cook, read—while surfing the internet or streaming a movie or show on Prime Video. These were bad habits that I knew would impact my ability to do deep work, yet it became harder and harder to stop them. That led to another realization: I needed a ‘new’ way of being. [Read more…] about A New Year. A ‘New’ Way of Being

Social Media: A Love-Hate Relationship

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Just over three months ago, I stepped back from social media. I’d left Twitter before that, but realized I needed a cleaner break. I didn’t just deactivate my active accounts. Where I could (Instagram and LinkedIn; I’ll get to Facebook), I deleted them. And when it came to Instagram, I was even more intentional. I deleted every post, removed every follower, and unfollowed everyone I’d been following. Because I knew I would eventually return to social media, but I didn’t want to just pick up where I left off. I wanted to start over with a new approach.

When it came to Facebook, I opted to deactivate my fan page. The problem with that was that it had to remain active if I still wanted to use Facebook Ads, which I did. My only option then was to go radio silent. [Read more…] about Social Media: A Love-Hate Relationship

Up the Ante

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up the anteGood or bad, I’ve never been one to follow the crowd. And at different times throughout my life, that has earned me a reputation as a rebel, rulebreaker, or loner. Some just called me stubborn. But when it comes to success (however you define it) and actually getting done the things you set out to do, following the crowd can potentially hold us back. We have to be able to recognize when it’s time to up the ante.

Let me put it this way. I’ve learned that sometimes it is necessary to step outside of the norm and, in the most polite of ways—or sometimes not—flip the bird at those expectations others tried to set for me. [Read more…] about Up the Ante

On Becoming a Digital Minimalist

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Part II: The Rules

The world has drastically changed since 1973, the year I was born. There is no denying the role technology has played in that change, especially social media — how we use it and, more pointedly, how it uses us. And it is easier than ever to go down the rabbit hole of clickbait, losing hours of our lives each day to meaningless scrolling. And to what end?

Begin with the End in Mind

As we near the end of August, I can look back over what I have done and, more precisely, what I have not done, and make the following assessment: this year has been a ruthless, at times humiliating, battle to [re-]take control of my attention agenda. Ruthless and humiliating because my efforts — up until the end of July — to manage distractions, and increase productivity and focus, have failed. Miserably. The clearest evidence of that is my screen time weekly reports, and to see days when I spent nine, ten, or fourteen (yes, fourteen!) hours on my phone. What was I doing? What, on my phone, held my attention that long? [Read more…] about On Becoming a Digital Minimalist

Notifications Off

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notifications off

I ‘miss’ a lot because on my phone and laptop I keep the notifications off. And the sound. I can’t stand the ding of a new e-mail or text message arriving, or the ringing of an incoming call. Because I have enough distractions that I’m trying to manage on a daily basis, notifications — especially for social media apps — are the last things I need to add to the chaos.

As I reread Cal Newport’s book, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, I know that my struggle to truly embrace and apply the concept of deep work in my life begins in my mind. While my social media use is down considerably, when I go long stretches of not being on it I can’t escape that feeling that maybe I’m missing out on something. But am I really missing out on something that, even when I’m using it, I’m not fully engaged with?

Notifications off … it’s a starting point and, ultimately, the key to me doing more deep work and regaining focus in this distracted world.