Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

success

5 Rules to Live By

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As a kid, I hated rules. That’s because rules weren’t fun. They were meant to mould my behaviour and, perhaps unknowingly, stifle my creativity.

Rule: I had to eat everything on my plate before I left the table (that was hard, especially on the nights my father served burnt, chewy liver for dinner).

Rule: I couldn’t stay out late on a school night.

Rule: As long as I lived in my parents’ house, I’d do as they say.

Rules sucked. Big time.

Breaking the Rules

It probably comes as no surprise that, growing up, I was a rule breaker. Tell me I couldn’t do something, and I’d set out to prove that I could. Tell me I had to do something one way, I’d do it a different way and achieve the same result. ‘Rebelling’ was second-nature to me. In a way, it led me down the path to becoming who I am today.

Breaking the rules taught me a valuable lesson: that I had what it takes to be who I am, and not who others wish me to be. It came with a ‘price’ in that the people who wanted me to remain the same — friends and family alike — eventually slipped out of my life. To be honest, for a time that bothered me. But only until I understood that being my truest self is the greatest gift I could give to myself and the world. Marianne Williamson says it best:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” [note] Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles,” 1992[/note]

 

Not being small meant doing the thing that I love the most: writing. As I gave myself over to it, there was a mega shift in how I looked at rules. I saw their potential, how they could help me create the life I wanted.

From Rule Breaker to Rule Setter

When I first knew I wanted to be a writer, my goal (naïve as it was then) was to sign on with a well-known publishing company like HarperCollins or Penguin, or a literary agency. Self-publishing and being an indie author like we know them today didn’t exist. The one thing an emerging writer like myself wanted to avoid was being swindled by a vanity press.

Since then, the publishing industry has been completely turned on its head. Now, it’s easy and affordable for writers to publish their own works through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) and other platforms. The competition is fierce, which makes it hard to get your book to stand out in a crowded marketplace.

But when you do what you love, you don’t throw in the towel when the rejection letters start piling up. You don’t give up, either, when your first book flops (as mine did). You try, try, and try again because this is the thing that you must do. It’s the reason you’re here on earth. It’s your calling. And you must heed the call.

I write for the love of writing, to tell a story, to [I hope] offer a unique view of the world. And even though most days the idea of ambition and being successful makes me squeamish — almost like I don’t feel I deserve it — my aim is to write full-time. It’s why I show up every day to write. My dream won’t come true without me putting in the time and doing the necessary work.

Working to build a writing career around a day job, familial responsibilities and life in general, it’s pretty easy for me to get distracted. To stave off distraction — procrastination, resistance, self-doubt, etc. — I needed rules to get me through each day. When I became a self-published author, and responsible for marketing and promoting my book, rules became even more important. I had to find balance, especially when dealing with social media, which permeates all aspects of our lives.

Yes, I needed rules to stay focused and increase my productivity as I worked to achieve my goals. For me, it all comes down to this:

5 Rules to Live By

    1. Get up early: I’ve always been a morning person, but for over a year now I’ve been getting up around 4:30 am to jumpstart the day. That quiet time of day is when I do some of my most focused work without distraction. And by the time noon rolls around, I’ve checked off quite a few items on my to-do list.
    2. Do the most important thing first: Most days I succeed in tackling the most important task on my to-do list first. Usually, this is the project that requires the most focus and effort. Doing it first thing in the morning when I’m at my best makes the work feel ‘effortless.’
    3. Eliminate distractions: For the longest time, I tried to eliminate distractions on my own. You know, power down the phone and hide it somewhere out of sight. Close the internet navigator. Turn off the TV. Yet I often found myself saying, “Oh, I’ll just quickly check my e-mail.” Two hours later, I’ve not only checked my e-mail, but I’ve also squandered away time on Twitter, Facebook and CNN.

      About three years ago, I discovered StayFocusd, a Google Chrome extension that blocks the internet. And earlier this year I started using Freedom, which blocks the use of all apps on my iPhone. Together, StayFocusd and Freedom have decreased the time I waste online (procrastination) and significantly increased my productivity. I’m writing more. I’m finishing more projects. I feel like I’m actually moving forward.
    4. Manage social media engagement: I think I’ll always have a love-hate relationship with social media. I love it because of how I can connect with writers and readers from all over the world. I feel like I’m a part of a vibrant, supportive and encouraging community. I hate social media because it can suck you in and, before you know it, half the day is gone. (That’s another reason why I use StayFocusd and Freedom.)

      Apps like Freedom can only do so much. At some point, I had to practice self-control and self-discipline. And that meant learning to be purposeful in my use of social media. With Facebook, for example, I aim to post three or four times a week. Some may say that’s not enough, but it works for me and I don’t feel pressured to produce content that no one’s going to pay attention to.

      Twitter is my pandora’s box. I had to find a way to not let it overwhelm. So, about six weeks ago I made two important decisions that would impact my use of Twitter. 1. I’d only check in (reply to or like tweets) on Wednesdays and Fridays (days were chosen arbitrarily); and 2. I’d no longer check Direct Messages (DMs). These two decisions have helped me to reclaim my day, allowing me to focus on what really matters.
    5. Take care of yourself: As a child, I didn’t have an iPhone or xBox, and I wasn’t racing around the city playing Pokémon Go. (We had Atari and the Commodore 64 … do you remember those?) So, on sunny days I was always outside playing. In my late teens and my twenties, especially as a university student, I was a nerd and loved to be inside reading and writing.

      In 2008, I stepped on a scale (for the first time in over five years because I had the Blanche Devereaux mindset that my weight of 175 pounds never changed) to see the needle move past the 200-pound mark. I was devastated. It was the middle of February, -25°C, and in the cold of the night I decided to start running. Not knowing how to dress for a winter run, I ended up sick as a dog for two weeks.

      But that day changed my life. Not only did those unwanted pounds fall away in the weeks that followed, but running became a habit, one that’s held strong for ten years now. Best of all, running got me out of the house and living a more active life.

      And more recently, I’ve stopped drinking, reduced my sugar and salt intake, and in addition to running I’m also working out regularly (thanks to the Nike Training App). I have more energy, feel a lot better about myself and am enjoying all that life has to offer. I love running because it helps to clear my head, zone out … become one with myself. It’s also the time when I have my ‘Conversations with Oprah.’ In the zone, I can hear Ms. Winfrey asking those big life questions to one of her guests on Super Soul Sunday. Only I’m the guest, and when I hear myself give the answer there’s clarity — about how to move a story forward, or how to deal with a situation that I’ve been struggling with. I always come back from a run enlightened and energized, ready to take my game to the next level.

      We mustn’t neglect ourselves. We are our most valuable resource. When we take care of our body, mind and spirit, we are ready for whatever comes our way. And we know that there is nothing we can’t do.

Be Who You Are

These are my rules. They work for me as I strive to create the life I imagine — to let loose the truest, ultimate expression of who I am. I can’t afford to break them. Breaking the rules creates havoc and puts everything I’ve worked hard to achieve at risk.

As I continue to evolve, the rules may change or need to be tweaked.

But for now … I’ll keep playing by the rules.

Do you have any rules you live by? How do you stay focused? What is the one thing that is holding you back? What is the one thing you can change to allow yourself to move forward? Let me know in the comments section below.

Never Give Up

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Every day I write. In the morning. In the afternoon. Sometimes in the evening.

It’s not a choice for me.

It’s a calling. And when I stopped running away from myself, I heeded the call.

You see, when my pen touches the page, that’s when I feel grounded, centred … at one with myself and the world.

Writing is the truest expression of who I am.

The ‘Why’

I don’t write with the aim of becoming a New York Times bestselling author or hoping to win the Man Booker International Prize. Sure, those things could happen, but that’s not what keeps me in the game.

Writing is about witnessing the world around me, taking a snapshot of a moment in time — and trying to make sense of it all. Writing lets me tell a story through a different lens, from the experiences that have shaped my life and helped me to become who I am. Writing frees me from the hate, intolerance and misunderstandings plaguing our world today. Writing is a golden opportunity to showcase the beauty that is this world and the great things we’ve done — and can still do — when we come together in spite of our differences.

That’s why I must write … every day. When I don’t write, I’m irritable, grumpy and feel like I’ve lost my footing. That’s how I often felt on days when I went without coffee (before I gave up caffeine).

Like I said, it’s not a choice for me. If it were, I would have abandoned writing when my novel, Freestyle Love, flopped in 2011. But I kept writing and, not letting self-doubt get the better of me, self-published The Flowers Need Watering in 2017. I could have given up after receiving countless rejections from various literary journals and publishers. Instead, I kept writing, honing my skills and opted to share my stories online through Twitter Fiction Tuesdays (#TwitFicTues) and my Fiction Friday series.

Yes, I kept writing for the love of the work, to see it through to completion, to — in some small way — be of service.

Never Give Up

Despite my passion, despite my commitment, there are still days when I ask myself: What’s the point? Am I on the right path? Is anyone paying attention? So, I take a moment to remind myself of what Steven Pressfield says in, Do the Work!: “Resistance is a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”[note]Steven Pressfield, Do the Work!, Do You Zoom, Inc., 2011.[/note]

That’s when I buckle down and focus. Resistance won’t have dominion over me.

When we write, paint, compose — create — for the love of it, I feel like that’s the moment when providence moves. The stars align and our creative world comes into focus. We know exactly where we are, where we want to go, and what we need to do to get there.

When we show up each day for the love of the work, we know we have the necessary courage and faith to do whatever it takes to make our dreams come true.

That’s why we’ll never give up.

Doing It My Way

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“When we focus on what matters, we can build the lives we want, with the time we’ve got.”

– Lauren Vanderkam

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with social media. I love that Twitter, more than Facebook, allows me to connect with readers and other writers. I love that I can ask a question and so many people are willing to share their knowledge and experiences. I love that, as an introvert, I feel like I’m a part of a community.

I’m less enthralled with social media when the trolls come out. The people who nitpick everything you do because everything they do is perfect. As soon as you make a mistake they come gunning for you. And it’s not that we’re not open to feedback, but they just lack the class and savoir-faire to communicate it well.

The Power of Social Media

Despite Facebook’s recent data scandal (and Mark Zuckerberg’s upcoming testify before the U.S. Congress), or Kylie Jenner and Rihanna distancing themselves from Snapchat, people don’t appear to be abandoning these networks in droves. Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, Medium — they’ve become, for better or for worse, an integral part of how we communicate with each other.

As a writer, social media is a huge part of my author platform. Working to build my brand, I’m told over and over again that my success will depend on my engagement, or lack thereof, with social media — especially if I want to make a living from writing alone. (I’d love, LOVE, to quit my day job and write full-time.) That’s why I subscribe to so many blogs and mailing lists: The Creative Penn, Tom Morkes, Smart Author Labs, Book Marketing Tools, Books Go Social, and others. I’m interested in staying current with industry news, knowing the trends and honing my skills. And when it comes to success, the recurrent theme I keep hearing is this:

It’s Not Enough to Write a Good Book Anymore

To be a ‘successful’ author, one of the things we’re told we must do is write a blog, posting content regularly. I’ve had a couple of different blogs on and off since 2013, but it wasn’t until early last year that I started enjoying blogging. What changed? I no longer felt pressured to do it. I didn’t feel like it was a writer’s obligation anymore. I could do it, on my own terms, to stay connected to a wider writing community. Any other things writers should do? Plenty! Build your mailing list (valid point, and I’m building mine slowly). Perhaps start a podcast. Post frequently on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Offer a course or webinar. Send out a newsletter.

Are you exhausted yet? I am!

The introvert in me balked at most of those things. All my life, I’ve never been great at selling anything. So, when it comes to self-promotion there’s even greater resistance. Maybe that means that my road to becoming a successful author — however you define it — is going to take a little longer. As I grow older (and wiser?), I’m becoming okay with that. I get it. People like Joanna Penn (the Creative Penn), Mark Dawson (Self-Publishing Formula) and Chandler Bolt (Self-Publishing School) are living the dream because they’re doing all the ‘right’ things.

I’m an author who’s published two books — one that was traditionally published and a big flop, another that I self-published in February 2017 and that people are still buying. I work full-time, travelling the world (although lately, London, UK, feels like my second home). On my days off, I’m juggling writing, running and my responsibilities at home. You can relate, right? So, every time I read from an ‘expert’ that if I want to succeed as I writer, I should consider launching a podcast or offering a webinar, I’m frustrated. I can’t imagine fitting that in when it already doesn’t feel like there are enough hours in a day to get everything done. But the bigger question I keep asking myself this: When the [insert expletive] am I supposed to write?

Here’s the thing…

Over the past few months, I’ve struggled to get in my creative time. Not because of writer’s block (that’s never been an issue for me) or jet lag, but because I’ve been chasing someone else’s dreams or idea of what the successful author life looks like. There’s something frightfully addictive about social media — Twitter and Facebook (the two I use) — that has me constantly reaching for my phone. Have you noticed how some people get offended if you don’t instantly respond to them retweeting your tweet or liking your Facebook post? And you feel like you’re missing something if you don’t have your social media apps open and aren’t paying attention to them. No more!

Challenging Myself to Do and Be Better

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been trying to live with intention. And I really like how Oprah Winfrey phrases it: “The number one principle that rules my life is intention. Thought by thought, choice by choice, we are cocreating our lives based on the energy of our intention.”[note]Oprah Winfrey, The Wisdom of Sundays, Flatiron Books, 2017, p. 44[/note] That has meant a number of different things for me. I stopped drinking (80 days strong and counting). I’m running more, improving my pace and putting in longer distances; and exercising regularly with the Nike Training app. I love food and prefer to prepare as much as possible from scratch. Over the past few months, I’ve really been paying attention to what I eat and now I scrutinize every label. Do you know how many grams of sugar there are in a 341 ml can of Minute Maid cranberry juice? 43 grams! I gave up caffeine in October 2016, but sometimes I treat myself to a regular latte — usually when I’m touring around London and have been up all night. Yes, this is me trying to live with intention.

But the most recent and dramatic change has been my introduction to the Freedom app.

A couple of years ago I discovered StayFocusd — a Google Chrome extension that limits the amount of time spent on time-wasting websites. When I was trying to finish a rewrite or complete a first draft, I’d limit how much time I could spend on sites like Twitter, Facebook or CNN before they’d be blocked. And StayFocusd has a nuclear option that blocks the entire internet on my laptop for as long as I like.

For my iPhone, I use Freedom (after five free sessions, you must buy a subscription). For the period set, all the apps on my phone are unusable. I can’t check e-mail, do banking, post on Facebook or Twitter. Nada. (Now, I’m learning to plan my day strategically so that if I need to go to Loblaws, my PC Optimum app will be functional.) But together, StayFocusd and Freedom are a powerful duo that allows me to sustain my focus and increase my productivity. More than that, I feel like I’m no longer spending time on things that distract me from my true passion.

After receiving my manuscript from my editor back in February, it felt like the corrections were taking forever. Until I found Freedom. Now, I’m sailing through them. Before Freedom, it felt like I was rushing to get out my weekly Twitter Fiction and Fiction Friday series, and scrambling to write a blog post. Not anymore. Freedom and StayFocusd are helping me to reclaim my life and my time so that I can live the life I’ve imagined.

Live the Life You Want with the Time You’ve Got

All this to say … we all have our own idea of success. Now, I’m learning not to do the things that aren’t true to who I am. I use Twitter. I love scheduling some tweets in advance, and I truly appreciate the support and encouragement I receive from that community. But I’ve decided, going forward, to scale back my presence to two days a week. Perhaps that seems a bit extreme, but I know how addictive Twitter is for me. So, Wednesday and Friday will be the days when I’ll respond to mentions, retweets and likes. Steven Pressfield, in his book Turning Pro, writes: “The amateur tweets. The pro works.”[note]Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro, Black Irish Entertainment LLC, 2012[/note] That hit me like a ton of bricks and really got me thinking about how I spend my time. And I’m no longer checking Direct Messages. I already have two e-mail accounts — one personal, one for my writing — that I struggle to manage daily. I know Direct Messages are convenient, but they feel highly impersonal and are annoying.

Admittedly, Facebook is trickier. Or there’s an illusion of it being trickier to manage. I’m talking about the Facebook Page app (I don’t use the regular Facebook app) because when I open it, this is what I’m immediately drawn to:

85% response rate. Respond faster to turn on the badge

Reach people nearby for $___

Number of likes

Facebook is constantly in your face to up your engagement. And whenever I see that I’ve lost a like or my reach is down, I wonder if it’s because I’m not engaging enough or that I’m not posting the right content. Then I end up asking myself: What more can I do? And that’s the moment I feel like Facebook has won. But, still, I’m trying to pull back because, at the end of the day, I don’t feel like I’m being true to who I am.

Some of you may remember the TV show Laverne & Shirley, starring Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams. There’s a great line from the opening theme song: “We’re gonna make our dreams come true / Doin’ it our way.”

Yes, I’ve got a dream and, with the time I’ve got, I’m doing it my way.

What’s your idea of success? Do you have a strategy for your use of social media? Are you where you want to be on your creative/life journey? Let me know in the comments section below.

Take a Deep Breath

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Throughout this long writing journey, I’ve had one steady companion: Doubt.

Doubt tells me I’ll never succeed. That I’m wasting my time. That I’m an amateur and that I’ll never be anything more than that. Some days, Doubt almost has me convinced that all of these things are true. That’s when I know Doubt has power over me and I’m the one feeding it.

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been in a ‘funk’ that I’ve been struggling to shake off. There are peaks and valleys in life, right? Well, I’ve been stuck way, way down in one. And that wouldn’t be so bad if it were like Pine Valley and I was living the glamorous life of Erica Kane. But it’s been something altogether different. It’s kept me on edge, left me battling procrastination and, to a certain degree, not giving a f*ck about much.

It’s that last one … that’s when I knew something was off.

And it was this: I’d let Doubt bully me, then seduce me away from the work I’m most passionate about. Writing.

So, during my recent staycation, I brought the war to Doubt’s front door by setting up and following a routine. I started each day, like I always do, with my Morning Pages. After that, I either went for a run or worked out using the Nike Training App. Then I stuck to a schedule that had me working — and making progress — on various writing projects.

Writing shields me from Doubt’s strangling grip.

Writing reminds me of my worth.

Writing takes away my fears.

And Doubt coupled with fear is a deadly combination. Lately, I’ve been consumed by fear. I’m afraid that, maybe, Steven Pressfield is right, and Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t. Afraid that the revised version of Freestyle Love, that I’m hoping to rerelease this year, will be a flop like the first. Afraid that I’m not on the right path.

Then something strange happened, something that I’ve never experienced before (or at least I’d never been conscious of because of my on-again-off-again relationship with God).

On the day I returned to work earlier in the month, I sat down to write my Morning Pages. Before beginning, I asked (or maybe it was more of a prayer) this question: What do I do next? My hand sped across the page, capturing the words as the Universe/God/Life spoke directly to me.

This is what I heard:

Accept Your Situation

Accept where you are and make the best of it. As much as you may be tempted, don’t ‘abandon ship’ (i.e., quit the day job). You need a roof over your head and food on the table. That’s the way life works. But you can, outside of the pesky day job, work on what you’re most passionate about. That means being present where you are. This is your moment in life, so enjoy it. Stop trying to run towards some uncertain future. Today, you can finish the rewrite. Today, you can start a new story. Today, you can cherish the people in your life who support and encourage you.

Procrastination isn’t the ‘Devil’

If you want to procrastinate, fine, just accept it. It’s okay not to want to work sometimes.

Getting Past Discouragement

When you feel discouraged, like you want to give up, write something. Not with the expectation of glory — of being published or revered. Write to soothe your soul, to clear out the inner critic from inside your head. Write to remind yourself of who you are and why you do what you do. Remember, life is a journey. Each day presents opportunities to grow as a person and as a writer. The question is this: Are you paying attention?

So, Pay Attention

Pay attention to how you spend your time. Do you really need to watch The Bourne Identity again? Really, you could play Jason Bourne because you can recite all the lines from beginning to end. In the ninety minutes it’d take to watch it, you could write a blog post or edit that short story that’s been sitting on the corner of your desk for months. Have you counted how many times a day you check your Twitter feed or KDP reports? Add that up over the past six months and you could have had plenty of time to visit the AGO like you talked about. Have you thought about asking for help with some of the household chores? Maybe you’d feel less tired or like you never have enough time in the day to get everything done. Don’t give up the cooking, though. You make delicious meals from scratch — Bolognese, cinnamon buns, gnocchi, apple pie. It’s another form of creativity in your life that keeps you healthy and on your game.

Pay attention to the people who come into your life. Some people you meet will love and support you unconditionally. When you need space to write or sprint to the end of a long rewrite, they’ll understand when you ‘disappear.’ And when you reappear, they’ll be the first to ask, “How did it go? Great! Now, let’s go to dinner to celebrate.” Others will try to take advantage of you. They’ll want to take your time, energy and focus for their own needs without giving anything in return. By the time you realize it, you’ll be frustrated and resentful, and what suffers is your creativity and peace of mind. You must be able to see quickly who’s there for you and who’s there simply to ride in your shadow. Dump the latter fast! You don’t need any other distractions.

Keep Reading

Reading is a great way to expand your mind, delve into worlds that are foreign to you, and discover other exciting authors.

Don’t Forget to Rest

You want to get your next book out. Good. You’re excited about it. Good. You’ve spent so many years working on it that you can’t wait to share it with the world. Good. But you’re often running yourself ragged. You work until your body says, “No more,” and then you’re out of commission anywhere from four days to two weeks. During that time, everything suffers, or slows down, because your body needs rest that you’ve deprived it of. Pace yourself. Better yet, take a break and let loose your inner child. There’s nothing wrong with taking a day off. It lets you step away from your current work-in-progress, especially if you arrive at a point where you’re not sure how to move it forward. Forget about it. Do something else that you love. Go see Black Panther or Laura Croft: Tomb Raider. Check out that bakery in Little Italy everyone’s talking about. Have fun. Then, when you go back to the writing, you’ll have a fresh perspective and see things differently.

Love Yourself

The journey you’re on is not for the faint of heart. You’ve experienced success and failure … lots of failures. But you don’t let that faze you. You try, try and try again. That’s because you love yourself and the path you’re on. Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of life, we forget to treat ourselves. Loving yourself means that sometimes (maybe more often than you’d think) you must put yourself first. It’s okay to decline invitations to guest post on someone else’s blog or help a friend move. It’s okay to take a weekend for yourself and not visit your in-laws. It’s okay to say, “No,” when what’s being asked of you is not true to who you are. That doesn’t mean you’re not a nice person. It means that, by living with intention, you’re loving yourself. Remember Polonius’s advice to his son in Hamlet: “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Never Give Up

You’ve come so far on this journey to let Doubt scare you away. The best thing you can do is to just show up daily and write. One hundred words. Five hundred words. Two thousand words. It doesn’t matter. It’s all progress. And that shows your commitment to your craft, and your dedication to learning and growing. Don’t look to see who’s ahead of you or who’s behind you. Don’t worry about what other people think. What you create isn’t going to be for everyone, and that’s okay. Write for your one true fan who cheers you on to the end.

Focus on you and creating the life you imagine.

You’re on your way. Take a deep breath and carry on.

Time for a Reset

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Catching a cold on New Year’s Day really bummed me out. Mostly because getting sick annoys me. The scratchy throat. The cough that feels like I’m about to, at any moment, bring up one of my lungs. Instead, it’s the clumpy, green mucus I hack up. The nasal congestion and my nose that becomes so raw from blowing it the skin peels off in my hand. The sleepless nights (because as soon as I lay down in bed, the cough that I thought had gone away reappears to keep me up all night). The lack of energy, which keeps me from writing and doing the things I love.

Oh, yes, Lord, I was sick and tired … and tired of being sick. Although it took me a few days to realize it, I ended throwing my own self-pity party. And that sent me spinning. I couldn’t really get myself moving. Not with my writing. Not with my running. Not with life in general. I felt like 2018 sucker punched me, like the joke was on me. Or I was the joke. I felt stuck, like I was moving nowhere fast.

Then something happened. Three things, actually.

The infamous cluttered coffee table of books read and to be read.

The first occurred last night after I had read a few more chapters of Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. From our very cluttered coffee table, I picked up Oprah Winfrey’s new book, The Wisdom of Sundays. Orpah’s first words of wisdom, just before the Introduction, instantly had me changing my thinking: “All of us are seeking the same thing. We share the desire to fulfill the highest, truest expression of ourselves as human beings.” That was when I realized I was in the throes of a woeful, and silly, self-pity party. That was a powerful moment when I realized I had to change, and that meant it was time to change my attitude.

At Second Cup this morning, working on my new writing project. Today I cheated and had a regular vanilla bean latte.

The second change occurred when I got up this morning (Saturday, 13 January) and took myself to my favourite Second Cup location to write. I set to work on a new story, one I know will become a full-length novel (or novella at the least). There, holed up at my usual table in a corner of the café, my hand sped across the page (I still like to write my first drafts longhand) of my Moleskine notebook. I felt the energy, the exhilaration of beginning a new project and watching it unfold. It reminded me (and I needed reminding) of the thing I love to do most in life: write. I felt the restlessness beginning to ebb. I was finding my feet again.

In the corridor outside the gym after my run on the treadmill. Can’t wait to run outside again!

The third shift occurred this afternoon on the way back from Loblaws. Driving home, the blinding afternoon sun had me eager to get out for a run. I saw several people outside running, braving the frigid temperatures (-21°C/-6°F with the wind chill), and I desperately wanted to be one of those people. Just getting over this cold, I knew that wasn’t a good idea. But an alternate solution was open to me, and that was head to the gym in my condo building and run on the treadmill. Not my favourite way to run, but it was a way to get me completely out of this funk. So, once the groceries were away, I changed and made my way to the gym. I ran for thirty minutes, and running brought clarity. I had gotten off track. I’d forgotten that all it takes to get moving — and to keep moving — is to write. Every day. That one act keeps me sane and happy and fulfilled. It is the truest expression of myself.

Feeling Like My Old Self Again

Shellfish Manicotti. They were absolutely delicious, if I do say so myself.

The sun has set. And there is, once again, a little bounce in my step. Actually, I feel quite energized, as if I’ve had too much caffeine. (In fact, I’ve almost completely eliminated caffeine from my diet; now I drink decaf 98% of the time.) When I’m writing and running — like I did today — there is a natural ebb and flow to life. Everything old seems new again. And my creativity spills over into other spheres of my life. Like in the kitchen. Tonight, I took great liberties with Max and Eli Sussman’s Shellfish Shells (from their cookbook, Classic Recipes for Modern People), making manicotti instead. And I switched out the canned tomatoes for fresh, which I think always add more depth and flavour to the sauce.

I am once again hopeful for the days ahead. And for that I can thank Oprah. In her book she writes: “I believe part of my calling on Earth is to help people connect to ideas that expand their vision of who they really are and all they can be.” Yes, with The Wisdom of Sundays, you’ve helped me see exactly that.

Where do you find yourself on your journey? Do you see who you really are and all you can be? What is your top goal for 2018? Let me know in the comment sections below.

P.S.: My top goal for 2018 is to publish my next novel, Freestyle Love, to rave reviews.