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Marcus Lopés

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Writing Life

Keep Your Head in the Clouds

February 6, 2019 by Marcus 2 Comments

Keep your head in the cloudsNo matter what you do in life, there’s always someone who’s going to tell you what you should be doing and how you should be doing it. Sometimes it’s a well-intentioned partner, friend, or teacher who are concerned about you. You tell them that you want to be a novelist or a sculptor, and they’ll say, “That’s crazy. You can’t make a living that way. Get a real job.” Don’t listen to them. In fact, the best thing you can do is keep your head in the clouds.

The Lost Dream

When I was growing up, I wanted to be a writer. But attitudes in my circle of influence (my family) were not favourable to a life in the arts. Writers, musicians, filmmakers, painters, sculptors … they were all drug addicts and alcoholics. And, surely, I didn’t want to end up like that, right? The pressure to not pursue what I really loved back then won out. I buried my writing aspirations deep inside of me and tried to forget about them.

Head in the Clouds

You can’t outrun your calling. As an undergrad, I read poetry at open mic nights and was invited for interviews to talk about my writing. My mother said, “I hope you don’t say anything stupid,” when I mentioned the interviews. Then I learned to not say anything about my creative dreams to anyone. But I kept writing, kept sharing my work … almost incognito.

Over the years, despite working in an office, I kept writing. I like to say that I came back to my writing, but the truth was I never really abandoned it. I kept daydreaming about a life as full-time writer. Would the dream come true? I didn’t know. But I couldn’t outrun the calling. I had to write. I had to try.

Never Give Up

Whatever your dream, don’t listen when people tell you it’s impossible, crazy or stupid. They’re often the ones too afraid to strike out, to, as Audre Lorde put is, “use my [their] strength in the service of my [their] vision.” They’re jealous that you’re daring to try, to be of service. They don’t have your courage.

Yes, keep your head in the clouds and your dreams alive. Dreamers change the world.

Be a dreamer!

Did anyone try to discourage you from going after your dream(s)? Did you take the bait or did you power through? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: dreams, encouragement, inspiration, motivation, never give up, writers, writing

Take a Risk

January 30, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

During a trip to London in November, I had to do something out of the ordinary: find a post office open on Sunday to mail a package for a friend. I found one not far from my hotel, downloaded the route from Google Maps, then set out. It took me a moment to recognize the outlet since the postal services were offered inside another shop.

The packaged mailed, I then walked to the Marks & Spencer (M&S) on Edgeware Road. For some reason, I never bothered to check the M&S store hours and assumed — like their competitors Tesco and Sainsburys — it’d be open early. Not so. On Sundays, M&S doesn’t open until noon. I checked the time. 11:22. Could I kill forty minutes? Exhausted from being up all night, all I wanted to do was pick up some food and then head back to my hotel room to crash.

I went first to Tesco, then Sainsburys, but they didn’t have anything on offer that appealed to me. Even though my stomach rumbled (and shopping when I’m starving is dangerous), I opted to wait for M&S to open. I ventured over to Paddington Basin, where a scene from the last Jason Bourne movie had been filmed, and grabbed a coffee from KuPP. Sitting by the canal, I pulled out my iPhone and, in between sips of coffee, started fooling around with the video.

The Gamble

out of the ordinaryIf you’re blogging or on Instagram, uploading video content is all the rage at the moment. I’m not a filmmaker, and don’t have any such ambition. But exploring this ‘new’ medium gave me that … I don’t quite know the word. It sparked something inside of me. It made me curious.

Heading to M&S on a high, I realized what was happening. I was taking a risk, doing something outside of my comfort zone. It was the artist in me taking control.

And when you take risks, new doors open.

The new door that opened turned out to be Black Sweater Talk, a weekly video blog I share on Facebook. I took a risk, did something out of the ordinary … and this is what it looks like. I hope you’ll check it out!

Have you taken a risk lately? How did it make you feel? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: creatives, do what you love, easy does it, forward momentum, stay focused, writers, writing, writing life

Write the Way

January 23, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

5 Rules to Live By to Raise Your Creative Game

Distractions. They’re everywhere. TV and the soul-sucking, mind-numbing reality shows that we’ve become obsessed with. Social media. We’re constantly reaching for our phones, hoping we’re not missing out on what’s happening on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, et. al. — and the 24/7 high-stakes drama it has become. The Trump Presidency. The fracas around Brexit. It’s no wonder that we are, literally, driven to distraction.

More than ever, we’re living in a time when it’s easy — with all the distractions at our disposal — to feel like there’s not enough time to get everything done. Worst of all, the first thing to get shelved are our dreams. Yes, we talk about writing a book, starting our own business, recording an album, but we’re too caught up doing things that don’t really matter … and the dream fades away.

Reality Check

DistractionLife is busy. It’s a race to get the kids off to school in the morning. The deadline for that project at work looms, and you feel pressured — because everyone else is doing it — to stay late or go in on the weekend. Your mother-in-law (God love her) just showed up unexpectedly … and is staying the week! Somewhere in all the chaos, you still need to find time to do laundry, shop for groceries, pay the bills. It’s never-ending.

Yet, we’re happiest in life when we’re doing what we’re most passionate about. I know. Miserable for years, trapped in a soporific nine-to-five job, I wasn’t pursuing my passion: writing. The struggle — ever-present — was to find some type of balance between writing and work, family, home and everything else clamouring for my attention.

If I wanted to write and let my creativity shine, I had to eliminate the distractions holding me back. No more excuses. No more blaming others for the lack of time. No more bullsh*t.

The Change

I came to rely on the one thing I’d spent a good chunk of my life breaking: rules.

In Write the Way: 5 Rules to Live By to Raise Your Creative Game, I share my insights and tips on how I’ve managed to make my writing a priority and take my creative game to the next level. The rules … they’re not perfect or absolute, but act as a guide that allows me to make the best of each day.

Grab your free copy here.

My hope is that these ‘rules’ will help you focus on what you’re most passionate about and bring your creative dreams to life.

Do you have any rules that help you stay focused? Are you ready to raise your creative game? Click Reply to leave a comment in the section below to let me know how you’re making out. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: distraction, dreams, productivity, rules, stay focused, writing, writing life

Writing Sober: One Year Later

January 16, 2019 by Marcus 5 Comments

Something ‘magical’ happened a year ago. Then, however, I didn’t know how much it would change my life, how much it would change the script.

On 17 January 2018, I stopped drinking.

I need a moment to let that sink in. I’ve been sober for one year. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes.

“Why?” many of my friends asked with bewilderment as much as curiosity. I stopped drinking — not because I was pressured to, not because I didn’t know my limit, not because alcohol was ravaging my life — because I had to get my house in order.

Call it an aha moment, a day of reckoning, an epiphany. Naming it isn’t important. But to fulfill my calling and be of service, things needed to change. To keep moving in the direction of my dreams, I had to clean up my own backyard.

Hitting Rock Bottom

Sometimes life speaks to you, yet you purposely ignore what her advice. That was me. By the end of 2018, I’d spent the previous two years on autopilot. Doing the same things over and over again, moving forward yet never feeling like I was getting ahead. Then ending up exhausted and tired of being in my doctor’s office, wanting to know why I wasn’t just sick but still sick. Tired of complaining of fatigue. Tired of the long bouts of insomnia.

Headed for some type of breakdown, it was time for an intervention because I wasn’t ‘happy’ with my life. I wasn’t where I wanted to be or living the life I’d imagined. And if I wanted to bring that vision to life — and not end up stranded or stuck in the same old patterns — something had to give.

Going sober was the first step towards becoming the best version of myself. Oprah Winfrey put it this way: “All of us are seeking the same thing. We share the desire to fulfill the highest, truest expression of ourselves as human beings.” [note]Oprah Winfrey, The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations, Flatiron Books, 2017, p. 8[note]

A State of Grace

The past year without alcohol has been like living in a state of grace — honouring who I am and not who others wish me to be. I’ve been, more than ever, committed to the thing that has called me into service: writing. Every day I write, show up to practice my art and hone my skills. Every day I’m being true to who I am.

Beyond living out my calling to write, going sober has helped me to take better care of myself both physically and mentally. I’m more present, more aware of who I am, what I want to achieve and what I must do to accomplish my goals. I have more energy to get through the day. I’ve lost just over 20 pounds and, through a more challenging running schedule and by paying attention to what I eat, I’ve kept the weight off.

Simply put, there is more clarity — of purpose, of what I’m seeking to do and give back to the world. The journey forward may still not be easy, but I’m in it for the long haul.

Therein lies the why.

Sober, I have the greatest chance of living my best life.

Sober, the world will see the truest expression of who I am.

Sober, I’m headed for my best year ever.

Is there one change you could make that would set you up to live your best year ever? Can you commit to making that change now? Click Reply, or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you!

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: artists, creatives, creativity, focus, fulfillment, purpose, service, sobriety, writers, writers life, writing

Easy Does It

January 9, 2019 by Marcus 2 Comments

I have a driver’s licence, but it’s been over five years since I’ve sat behind the driver’s wheel and navigated a car through the streets. There’s no need for it. Living in downtown Toronto, everything I need — grocery stores, banks, the public library, restaurants — is within walking distance. And choosing to get around the city on foot keeps me active as part of a healthy lifestyle. It also reminds me that sometimes, charging through life, the best approach is easy does it.

Easy does it, though, was hard advice to swallow when I finally learned to drive a standard. The jerky movements, the black smoke that one time billowed out from underneath the hood, the embarrassment of not being able to get it right.

One morning especially. I just couldn’t get the coordination right and, struggling to shift gears, the car got stuck in reverse. After a few unsuccessful attempts — and feeling like a failure — I called a friend for help.

Don’t Give Up

There will be days when we feel like we’re stuck in reverse as we pursue our creative dreams. (I’m in one of those periods now, trying to figure out the next right thing to do without driving myself crazy.) No forward momentum. No obvious signs of success. And no third-party validations.

So, easy does it becomes my mantra and I stay focused on the why in what I’m doing. I write every day because writing is what sustains me. But I don’t worry about how well my last book, Everything He Thought He Knew, ranks on Amazon or if it will become a bestseller. I write, taking Steven Pressfield’s advice to heart: “I cannot permit my professional or personal self-conception to be dependent on external acceptance or approval, at least not of the ‘mainstream recognition’ variety.”

Yes, easy does it.

We’re on a journey and, one step at a time, we’ll get to our final destination. Don’t necessarily expect an easy ride. Just be ready — and committed — for the long haul.

Are you feeling stuck? What’s the one thing you can do right now to move forward? Do that one thing now, then click Reply, or leave a comment in the section below, to tell the world all about it.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: creatives, do what you love, easy does it, forward momentum, stay focused, writers, writing, writing life

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