habits

Writing Sober: Two Years On

January 16, 2020 by Marcus Leave a Comment

This week marks an important milestone for me because two years ago, on 17 January 2020, I stopped drinking. Cold turkey. No weaning myself off it. No crisis forcing me to. Just a desire to change my life.

Then, as now, choosing sobriety is a part of my journey to become the best version of myself. In her book, The Wisdom of Sundays, Oprah Winfrey writes: “All of us are seeking the same thing. We share the desire to fulfill the highest, truest expression of ourselves as human beings.”[note]Oprah Winfrey, The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations, Flatiron Books, 2017, p. 8.[/note] That’s why I’m choosing to stay sober. I want to live my best life. [Read more…] about Writing Sober: Two Years On

What if…

October 30, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

What if I could get up a few minutes earlier to write? What if I met that one person who’d love me just as I am? Or what if I could get ten more likes on Facebook? What if I could just be more like…

What if has been ‘killing’ me lately. With the release of my next book now just three weeks away, doubt is creeping in and trying to have its way. I’m asking myself why it took so long to write this book? What bad habits got in my way? Did I have the right mindset? And while those questions may be important, there’s something else going on. I’m comparing myself to others — especially other artists who are farther ahead, and more successful — on their journey than I am.

The Comparison Conundrum

what if As a writer, it’s hard not to compare myself to others … even when I know I shouldn’t. But I want to be successful and productive. That always has me looking to others to see how they work and if there’s something in their routine and habits that may help me. What if I were like Somerset Maugham, who set a daily requirement of 1,000-1,500 words?[note] Mason Curry, Daily Rituals: How Artists Work, Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 2018, p. 105[/note] What if I could be like Igor Stravinsky and work without a break from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm? [note] Mason Curry, Daily Rituals: How Artists Work, Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 2018, p. 92[/note]

The thing is … I’m not Maugham, Stravinsky or anyone else. I’m me. And the best I can do is remember that it’s always been for me more about the journey than the destination. I’m doing the best that I can, with the time that I have, to focus on what matters.

Banish ‘What if’ from Your Vocabulary

Asking ‘What if’ is a sure way to let doubt into your life so it can have its way. It doesn’t change where you are or how you got there. It only makes you forget all that you have achieved and how far you’ve come. Remove it from your vocabulary to maintain control and focus on what matters.

Set your goal and get about the business of doing it. Don’t worry about how others are doing or what they think. Be yourself and enjoy the journey.

Do you ever find yourself asking, ‘What if…?’ How do you cope with the feelings that it evokes? Any strategies you’d like to share? Click Reply to let me know. I love hearing from you!

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Coming November 21, 2019

He’s growing up and chasing the ultimate prize: freedom. And it comes with a cost he never imagines. But will it break him?

When Scott Davenport moves into the university dormitory, it’s time to start over.

Free from his overprotective and ‘devout’ mother, he’s hungry for love and eager to chase dreams that are, perhaps, wrapped up in uncertain ambitions. Frustrated with the other students who don’t understand him and unable to ground himself in the new city he calls home, it’s a chance meeting with Troy Muir — his mild-mannered and attractive dormmate across the hall — that forges an unexpected yet powerful friendship. So close, so committed to each other, they can’t envision a future where they’re apart … until two life-altering events have them challenging deeply held assumptions about each other and themselves.

Raw and rich in emotion, Broken Man Broke is a thought-provoking coming-of-age story about identity and belonging. Lopés reminds us that not everyone sees us for who we are and that sometimes — amid the chaos threatening to destroy us — we’re not sure who we are or what we stand for.

Click here to PRE-ORDER today!

Why You Must Hold Fast to Your Dreams

January 2, 2019 by Marcus 1 Comment

Back in 2015, I did something kind of crazy. I declared it my Year of Selfishness. It was going to be ALL about me.

And it was … sort of.

How it all Began

I don’t remember exactly what I was looking for, but scanning the Google search results my eyes landed on “Three Simple Rules for Life”:

If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

Whoa! There it was, in terms so clear, the motive behind my ‘selfishness.’ I wasn’t looking to subscribe to the traditional definition of the root word, selfish: “(Of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure,” as defined by the Oxford Dictionary. The selfishness I embraced was about acknowledging what I wanted to achieve and having the courage to go after it. And since 2015, this concept of selfishness has been my modus operandi.

Put First Things First

Selfishness It’s easy to let our creative goals get pushed aside for the wrong reasons. We’re afraid of what people will think if we tell them our dream is to be a writer or dancer. We’re afraid of failing the first time we try, and that can stop us from trying again. Or we feel guilty about taking time to do something that’s burning inside of us when surrounded by familial, work and other responsibilities or pressures.

So, sometimes being selfish is imperative to achieving our dreams, and that means putting yourself first. That can be difficult, and at times, uncomfortable. You don’t want to let down my spouse/partner, friends or family. You don’t want them to feel like you’ve abandoned them. But when you’re not being true to who you are — or if you’re not feeling like you’re moving confidently in the direction of your dreams — how can you be there for anyone else when you haven’t been there for yourself? You’re the one who you’ve abandoned.

Caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we end up on autopilot and don’t follow through on our heart’s desire. Now it’s time to put first things first. So, maybe that means getting up early (I wake up around 4:00 am to write) or staying up late to have time to focus on your project. Take a vacation day (and don’t tell anyone) to finish the sound editing for your short film. Find a quiet place during your lunch hour (alone) and write the first sentence of the book that’s always been inside of you. And magical things happen when we put first things first.

It Kind of is Now or Never

And for too long, I worried about what others would think if I told them I wanted to be a writer. That was why, in my twenties, I ‘wasted’ a lot of time after graduating from university trying to fit into the nine-to-five world. When I turned thirty, it felt like time suddenly sped up … like I blinked and my thirties were over. In my early forties, it was all I could do just to keep up. But I found the courage to do the things in life that mattered most.

Now, in my mid-forties, some dreams have become reality and I’m living my best years ever. But there’s a lingering sense of urgency, knowing my time on this planet is limited, to rush to get everything else done. And as that temptation to rush intensifies, I teeter on the verge of craziness as other goals and dreams stall. What must I do to get them moving again? And is there enough time in the day to do it all?

So, whatever you dream of doing, do it now. Don’t wait. Don’t put it off any longer. It’s no secret. The longer you wait to begin, the longer it’ll take to get to where you want to go.

Hold Fast, Hold Strong

The age-old adage to take life ‘one day at a time’ is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but it’s easier to stay grounded when we’re focused on the day at hand instead of running off to some unforeseeable future. Each step we take, no matter how small, moves us forward. Don’t chastise yourself for things not done. Instead, celebrate writing the first sentence of your book, buying the paint supplies for the new series, or staying up late to start your dream.

Holdfast, hold strong, and don’t ever lose faith. Don’t ever stop believing that you can achieve your passion.

Now is the time to begin, or begin again, no matter where you are.

Are you holding fast to your dreams? Can you be ‘selfish’ enough to make your dreams a priority? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Get in the Habit of Doing What You Love

December 12, 2018 by Marcus 5 Comments

I write every day. No matter where I am — in Toronto or London — I write. Some days writing isn’t easy, especially after a long flight when I’ve been up all night. Even as my eyelids sag, I’ll sit down at the desk in my hotel room and write. I might write 250 words or the first draft of a short story or blog post. But I write.

Showing up every day to do the one thing you’re most passionate about takes courage. It shows you’re committed, no matter what the odds. It’s the way to hone your skills and become better. It gets you excited and keeps the momentum going. Do it long enough, without fail, and it’ll show you who you really are.

It’s Not Easy

Nothing happens overnight. For habits to stick, it takes time and repetition. Believe in yourself, that you can, and will, succeed. Remain faithful to the cause. And remember … begin where you are. You’ll slip up and make mistakes, but you’ll survive.

Keep going. In the long-term, you’ll be better off for it.

Are you trying to create a new habit? How’s it working out? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.