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I Know this Much is True

April 3, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Writing is hard work. So is being a painter, a sculptor, a dancer. We show up every day to do the work, to share our vision of the world in the only way we know how. When the time is right, we release it into the public domain and wait. Wait for third-party validation. Wait to be told it’s good enough, or that it sucks. And as we wait, we’re already back in the studio, at the piano, or in front of the laptop creating again. We’re living our dream. We don’t give up.

Reality Check

No matter how great we think our art is — a novel, a series of paintings, a dance choreography — not everyone will like it. Don’t believe me? Check out my book, The Flowers Need Watering, to see the ratings that range from 1 to 5 stars, and some of the cutthroat reviews. But you roll with the punches because art is subjective, and what we create won’t appeal to everyone. And my goal isn’t to create for the masses. It’s to focus on a small group of people for whom I can, through my writing, be of service. That’s what drives me. Not the 4 or 5-star reviews or glowing praise, but that I’ve been of service.

Do the Work

Whatever your dream, embrace it and don’t give up. Don’t run away at the first (or forty-ninth) failure. Don’t think it’s impossible because it’s taking longer than you expected to get where you want to go. Show up daily and do the work.

My first novel, Freestyle Love, debuted and flopped in 2011. I’d been so emotionally invested it (it was my first book and I expected everyone to love it) that I couldn’t see that it really sucked. Big time. Going through the process of self-publishing for my second book — and working with an editor — allowed me to see all the mistakes I’d made with Freestyle Love. And it did something else, too. It gave me the courage to try again. So, I rewrote Freestyle Love because I still believed in it and, with more experience behind me, I knew I could make it better. I refused to give up.

The Lesson

A few years ago, talking about the writing process with a friend, she asked me this: What are some things that you’ve learned along the way that would help other authors who are trying to publish their first book? While I geared my answer to writers, it applies to anyone pursuing a dream. This is what I said:

Art is subjective, so don’t take rejection personally. Be satisfied that what you put out for public consumption is your best work and let it shine.
Be persistent. Keep writing. Keep practicing. Show up daily to do the work. ‘Do the work’ is the important part because when you show up daily, you create a routine. And the more you write or dance or paint, the better you become.
Believe in yourself and in the work, and do it all for the love of it. It’s a challenge in today’s world, but try not to focus on your blog stats, Facebook likes, number of retweets, etc. While they are supposedly indicators of our success, they can drive you crazy if you feel like you’re not engaging enough or that no one is listening. Just be who you are, let your voice shine through and be of service. Focus on doing the work.

Bring the Magic

I know this much is true. The magic happens when you show up daily and do the work — not for fame, wealth, or recognition, but because it is the one thing you cannot not do. It is your purpose, your calling. That is the moment when the stars align, when your light shines.

What drives you to do what you do? What one thing could you do today that would move your dream forward? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Count Your Blessings

March 20, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

When I moved to Toronto in March 2013, life overwhelmed. New job. New love. Figuring out how to make this new city feel like home. In an unexpected way, I found comfort reading Rhonda Bynre’s The Magic. Writing a daily gratitude list is a lesson and practice from that book that has stuck with me. When you count your blessings at the start of your day, it’s hard to be grumpy, cynical or pessimistic. Like writing, it’s an act that anchors me to the present moment.

Life is busy. I know. Building a career as a writer around a day job and other life responsibilities isn’t easy, especially with so much pressure for us to be ‘connected’ 24/7. But sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves — one that offers perspective and the possibility of unforeseen insights to move us and our dreams forward — is to step back and give thanks for the blessings in our lives.

This Life

Turn on the TV, pick up a newspaper, log in to your social media accounts … you’ll witness a startling truth. We live in an age where it’s not just easier, but more the accepted norm, to criticize, insult and belittle each other. Instead of working together to build each other up, we’d rather tear each other apart. We focus more on what divides us than what should unite us. We’re constantly separating ourselves into camps — liberal/conservative, republican/democrat, vegan/carnivore, introvert/extravert — convinced that one is better than the other. And worse, still, we show little or no willingness to understand the other point of view. It’s become an unattractive state of being.

Yet there is so much more to life, and we should relish the very gift of waking up each morning to see a new day. Cutting through the noise, my daily gratitude list reminds me of that. In this life, I’m grateful for my partner, family, friends, and job. For the people working to improve the lives of others. For the positivity I welcome into each day, doing my best to bring joy wherever I go. Grateful, yes, to see the beauty that is this world.

Doing What You Love

Everywhere you turn, someone is offering advice: Ten Ways to Maximize Your Instagram Engagement, Five Simple Ways to Advance Your Career, Eight Tips for Effective Time Management, et. al. We scramble to take it all in and sign up for multiple newsletters, online training/webinars, or search for the next great app promising to improve productivity (I’ve done it all). And the next thing you know — badda bing badda boom — you’re living someone else’s dream.

And that’s why I’m grateful for having had the courage to listen to that ‘still small voice’ that encouraged me to follow my heart’s true desire. Writing. It’s the one thing in this life that makes my heart sing. So, every day — no matter where I am in the world, no matter the challenges life throws at me — I write. It’s how I know, as my friend Adrienne reminded me, that I’m doing my best to “stay grounded in your conviction that you’re doing what you want to do and feel called to do.” And best of all … I’m doing it my way!

Personal Cheerleaders

When you dare to declare your dream to the world, there’s bound to be people who’ll tell you you’ll fail. They’ll laugh or ask if you’ve been drinking. They’ll be a family member, friend, or colleague. Some will even stop talking to you. Why? You have something they do not: the courage to act, to imagine what is possible and go after it.

That’s why I’m grateful for my friends who’ve been with me from the beginning of my writing journey. Not sure how to proceed after receiving the umpteenth rejection letter, they encouraged me to keep writing. Sharing the news my first book was accepted for publication, they cheered, “Yay, you!” When a reader posted a harsh review, they told me to keep writing. And on the days I doubted myself and my talent, they told me to keep writing.

These are my personal cheerleaders who believe in me when others don’t, and that makes all the difference.

As Melody Beattie reminds us, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

That’s why today, and every day, it’s important to take a moment to count your blessings.

What’s one thing that you’re grateful for today? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

The 30-Minute-a-Day Social Media Diet

March 6, 2019 by Marcus 5 Comments

In November 2015, I pulled the plug on social media — Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Blogger. Then I went beyond that. I limited my use of e-mail, kept the TV off during the day (until my partner came home from work and turned it on), sent few text messages and, when I wasn’t working at my day job, kept my mobile on ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode.

Going Dark

I went dark, off the grid. This was, in part, inspired by a story I’d read two years earlier about a family that decided to live like it was 1986 again. No computers, internet, or cell phones. And they dressed the part, too, with mullets and cut-off jeans. They brought 1986 to the 21^st century to embrace the simplicity of that era. That said a lot, to me anyway, about how we’ve evolved — and the role technology has played in that evolution. Would I want to return to 1986 (I was thirteen then)? Probably not.

While I didn’t go to that extreme, I required a much-needed timeout from social media because I felt overwhelmed. At that time, I was working on the rewrite of a novel and trying to stay current on industry trends. Suddenly, I felt like everything was coming at me fast and furious. On Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or my inbox, the bombardment was unrelenting: ‘advice’ on holiday book marketing, or writing and selling your novel, or how authors can use Facebook Lead Generation Ads, or how to grow your followers, et. al. Overwhelmed, I couldn’t hear myself think, didn’t know how to proceed.

Being overwhelmed had a spiraling effect. I don’t know how to move myself forward, couldn’t concentrate, and then procrastination set in. And boy, oh, boy, did I embrace procrastination! Frustrated (and it was all my own doing) because I wasn’t making progress, wasn’t pushing the boundaries, wasn’t bringing my writing projects to completion. Everything stalled, and I was left flailing.

So, I went dark, off the grid. For two weeks.

An Uneasy Relationship

Now it’s 2019, and I haven’t gone off the grid again. As a self-published author, I recognize and appreciate that social media — Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. — can be powerful tools in the promotion of my author brand. It’s still not something that comes easily or naturally to me, but I’m grateful for the exchanges on Twitter and Facebook that connect me with other writers/artists facing similar challenges. Holed up in my own world, I’ve become part of a community that supports and encourages each other. And it’s great to connect with readers, too.

But…

Social media has a way of sucking you into the vortex. A decision to check in ‘quickly’ on Twitter can blow apart your day. That’s why social media is both my friend and my enemy. I took the timeout because social media felt more like my enemy.

My enemy. Because, real or imagined, some days social media has dominion over me. Am I engaging enough? How many likes did my post get? Has anyone responded on Facebook? I get all worked up about if I’m doing it right, if I’m doing what I should be doing to be successful (if I’m listening to all the expert advice out there).

The social media world is constantly evolving. Late in 2018, as I started to catch up to some changes that had occurred in recent months — and realized I was far behind in the game — I panicked. I felt like I immediately had to get up to speed. Overwhelmed, I couldn’t think, couldn’t focus and, worst of all, couldn’t write. I took a day and a half to step back, breathe and then come up with a plan to move forward.

You Need a Plan

When I went dark three years ago and pulled away (briefly) from social media, I was happy with the results. I wrote. More focused, my productivity skyrocketed. That meant I ran more, and got out of the condo to explore my neighbourhood, discovering new restaurants and shops. I read more, challenged myself in the kitchen and organized my spice cupboard (the latter is back in a state of disarray). I felt relaxed and, at the end of each day, a sense of accomplishment. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

The exercise made me realize, as an indie author — or any artist these days — you can’t bury your head in the sand when it comes to social media. But you still don’t have to let it rule the day. Yes, writers like Stephen King, Paulo Coelho and Jodi Picoult use social media (and brilliantly at that), but if you asked them I bet they’d tell you they had a plan for social media management. You need a plan, too, but one that you’re comfortable with and let’s you pursue your creativity your way. It’s a little like writing or painting or making music … you have to find your voice.

The Wake-Up Call

In December 2018, I realized I needed to make changes to my daily schedule if I really wanted to achieve my goals. At the end of the day, I didn’t feel fulfilled … like I had squandered the time gifted to me to live out my purpose. I wasn’t tending faithfully to my dreams. That need for change led me to read books by Brendon Burchard, Brené Brown, Michael Hyatt and Keith Ellis — so I could be inspired to do what was necessary to live my best life ever.

I was excited, energized, pumped.

But nothing changed. Why? I couldn’t break the cycle of self-sabotage. After all these years, I was still afraid of what people would think of me for daring to be a writer. That they’d ridicule me (which people did and still do) when I talk about my dream of writing full-time. “Stick to what’s safe,” they told me. Or, “How many books have you sold?” they’d ask mockingly. “I could never do that.” And I took their fear and owned it.

Until…

In January, working the flight to London, something felt off. Usually excited to go to London, I felt numb. Listening to my colleagues talk, a calmness invaded my heart. I went quiet. I realized this wasn’t my dream. Sure, it’s great to travel the world. Having 13-14 days off each month? Freakin’ fantastic. Great benefits? Absolutely. Starting my day in the middle of the night, stuck with rude passengers and colleagues at 35,000 feet for hours, and beyond exhausted for 24-36 hours after returning home? Not my dream.

It was time to start marching to the beat of my own ambition.

The 30-Minute-a-Day Social Media Diet

I didn’t quit my job. I focused on expressing my truest voice instead of constantly giving myself over to distractions and unfulfilling activities. On the top of my hitlist? Social media.

I have an active presence on three social media platforms: Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. That is the order I give them priority. And now, each network gets only 10 minutes a day of my time. How do I do that? I use Screen Time, Freedom and StayFocusd.

Screen Time: Available on iOS, it lets me set a daily allotment of time for each app. When the allotted time runs out, access to the app is blocked. Be aware, though, that it’s easy to ignore the limit set, so it also requires self-discipline.

Freedom: This app allows me to block websites as well as apps on my iPhone for the time period set (make sure you create a block list).

StayFocusd: A Google Chrome extension, it allows users to limit time spent on certain websites and block access to the internet (Nuclear Option).

Three apps, using them 10 minutes a day, produces the 30-minute-a-day social media diet.

That’s how, finally, I’m mastering my day, taking control of the agenda and direction of my life.

Do you have a plan for social media management? How is it working for you? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Take a Risk

January 30, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

During a trip to London in November, I had to do something out of the ordinary: find a post office open on Sunday to mail a package for a friend. I found one not far from my hotel, downloaded the route from Google Maps, then set out. It took me a moment to recognize the outlet since the postal services were offered inside another shop.

The packaged mailed, I then walked to the Marks & Spencer (M&S) on Edgeware Road. For some reason, I never bothered to check the M&S store hours and assumed — like their competitors Tesco and Sainsburys — it’d be open early. Not so. On Sundays, M&S doesn’t open until noon. I checked the time. 11:22. Could I kill forty minutes? Exhausted from being up all night, all I wanted to do was pick up some food and then head back to my hotel room to crash.

I went first to Tesco, then Sainsburys, but they didn’t have anything on offer that appealed to me. Even though my stomach rumbled (and shopping when I’m starving is dangerous), I opted to wait for M&S to open. I ventured over to Paddington Basin, where a scene from the last Jason Bourne movie had been filmed, and grabbed a coffee from KuPP. Sitting by the canal, I pulled out my iPhone and, in between sips of coffee, started fooling around with the video.

The Gamble

out of the ordinary If you’re blogging or on Instagram, uploading video content is all the rage at the moment. I’m not a filmmaker, and don’t have any such ambition. But exploring this ‘new’ medium gave me that … I don’t quite know the word. It sparked something inside of me. It made me curious.

Heading to M&S on a high, I realized what was happening. I was taking a risk, doing something outside of my comfort zone. It was the artist in me taking control.

And when you take risks, new doors open.

The new door that opened turned out to be Black Sweater Talk, a weekly video blog I share on Facebook. I took a risk, did something out of the ordinary … and this is what it looks like. I hope you’ll check it out!

Have you taken a risk lately? How did it make you feel? Click Reply or leave a comment in the section below. I’d love to hear from you.

Write the Way

January 23, 2019 by Marcus Leave a Comment

5 Rules to Live By to Raise Your Creative Game

Distractions. They’re everywhere. TV and the soul-sucking, mind-numbing reality shows that we’ve become obsessed with. Social media. We’re constantly reaching for our phones, hoping we’re not missing out on what’s happening on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, et. al. — and the 24/7 high-stakes drama it has become. The Trump Presidency. The fracas around Brexit. It’s no wonder that we are, literally, driven to distraction.

More than ever, we’re living in a time when it’s easy — with all the distractions at our disposal — to feel like there’s not enough time to get everything done. Worst of all, the first thing to get shelved are our dreams. Yes, we talk about writing a book, starting our own business, recording an album, but we’re too caught up doing things that don’t really matter … and the dream fades away.

Reality Check

Distraction Life is busy. It’s a race to get the kids off to school in the morning. The deadline for that project at work looms, and you feel pressured — because everyone else is doing it — to stay late or go in on the weekend. Your mother-in-law (God love her) just showed up unexpectedly … and is staying the week! Somewhere in all the chaos, you still need to find time to do laundry, shop for groceries, pay the bills. It’s never-ending.

Yet, we’re happiest in life when we’re doing what we’re most passionate about. I know. Miserable for years, trapped in a soporific nine-to-five job, I wasn’t pursuing my passion: writing. The struggle — ever-present — was to find some type of balance between writing and work, family, home and everything else clamouring for my attention.

If I wanted to write and let my creativity shine, I had to eliminate the distractions holding me back. No more excuses. No more blaming others for the lack of time. No more bullsh*t.

The Change

I came to rely on the one thing I’d spent a good chunk of my life breaking: rules.

In Write the Way: 5 Rules to Live By to Raise Your Creative Game, I share my insights and tips on how I’ve managed to make my writing a priority and take my creative game to the next level. The rules … they’re not perfect or absolute, but act as a guide that allows me to make the best of each day.

Grab your free copy here.

My hope is that these ‘rules’ will help you focus on what you’re most passionate about and bring your creative dreams to life.

Do you have any rules that help you stay focused? Are you ready to raise your creative game? Click Reply to leave a comment in the section below to let me know how you’re making out. I’d love to hear from you.