Marcus Lopés

Author

Writing Life

Do What You Love

by 7 Comments

If there is one thing in this life that we must do, it is this: Do What You Love!

Do What You Love is not just a trite adage. When used as a powerful guiding principle, it can transform your life. I know.

The Backstory

I spent a good chunk of my adult life running away from what I love, from who I am. I did what I was ‘supposed’ to do. I went to university, earned a degree and then found a job. I didn’t exactly work in my field of study, which was French Literature. But living in Ottawa, the nation’s capital, being bilingual made the search for decent work easier.

I worked in what was, for me, the grizzly world of nine to five. Policy Analyst. Executive Assistant. Proofreader. Program Coordinator. Project Administrator (Consultant). No matter how fancy the title or good the pay, boredom quickly set in. I never adjusted well (and I don’t think I have yet) to doing the same tasks over and over again, in a tiny cubicle, with the same people. It didn’t inspire.

Maybe, too, I didn’t subscribe to the idea of the Canadian dream — owning a nice house, having lots of money, fame and recognition. I believed, and still do, that we should hard work, be determined and live a happy and fulfilled life. So, whenever the nine-to-five world became too ‘restrictive,’ I saw a simple cure: Change jobs. I did. Frequently. But it was never long before the excitement of the new job and work environment waned. Then I’d reach the point of loathing the work and taking regular ‘mental health’ days.

Diagnosing the Problem

A story of love, loss and obsession that will leave you wondering if there’s such a thing as second chances. Available on Amazon.

The problem was simple. When it came to Do What You Love, I was failing miserably. Well, I was and I wasn’t.

I’m a writer. It’s what drives me, gives me a reason to get out of bed. I’m always excited to begin each day by setting pen to the page as I write my Morning Pages. I really can’t remember a time when I wasn’t writing. But for a long time, I let myself be shamed out of writing. People — family, friends, colleagues — told me I’d never make it as a writer. That all artists were drug and/or alcohol addicts. Have it as a hobby on the side. Get a real job.

When I kept writing on the side and got a ‘real job,’ I was mis-er-able. Looking back at the three most difficult times in my life — when I was actually clinically depressed and on medication — I was barely writing. I was doubting my work, doubting my talent, doubting my dreams. I’d lost sight of what mattered … and that had to change.

The Transformation

In 2003, I stopped being ashamed of my writing dreams. I started to submit my work, and it was published. I made time for writing — before my soporific day job, during my lunch hour and before bed. Jobs came and went, but my writing held steady. That was when I noticed the shift. Making my writing a priority, I wasn’t miserable. The good days were like being on the open water when it’s smooth sailing, the winds are calm, and your destination is clearly in your sights. And on the bad days — when the tempest roared, and it felt like I had to fight for my very survival — writing took the pain away.

I still have a day job, but it’s not nine to five. Do I love what I do as much as writing? Absolutely not. But I’ve found a way to ‘love’ it because it lets me do what I love. Write. If I’d been in any other job over the past five and a half years, it would have taken a lot longer to have my books published.

Do What You Love + Courage = Hope

Maybe you want to be the mayor of your city, found a non-profit that focuses on creativity for adolescents with mental health issues, open your own B&B… Whatever your dream, doing it takes courage. Taking that first step in the direction of your dream — despite the odds or what others say — gives you hope. Hope for today. Hope for tomorrow. Hope for the life you’ve always dreamed of living.

Let’s make the choice to walk through life with our eyes wide open, with our hearts tuned to what makes them tick.

Are you doing what you love? Click Reply and let me know. I’d love to hear from you!

Stay Focused

by Leave a Comment

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Actually, I’m terrified. That’s because in four days my next book, Everything He Thought He Knew, will be released on Amazon. While it’s available for pre-order now, it’s not technically out in the world for public consumption. I’ve been here before — the waiting, the anticipation, the anxiousness. Will readers like it? Hate it? What kind of reviews will it get? Those are things, I know, that are out of my control. I have to stay focused. Then why am I scared? Because I must keep going. The publication of this novel is part of a larger dream. Chasing down that dream means I need to keep writing, get to work on the next book. I must stay focused.

It’s been a long journey filled with success, failure, joy and disappointment. And through it all, I’ve kept going. Because I have a dream. (I shared my experience in writing Everything He Thought He Knew in my last blog post, “The Story Behind the Story.”)

As 10 October (the launch date for Everything He Thought He Knew) nears, it’s been harder to stay focused. It’s not an unusual feeling. It happens every time I finish a big project. No matter how hard I try to move forward, I feel like I’m spinning. I look at the writing projects piled on my desk and don’t know how to begin. I write my to-do list and prioritize what’s most important. Yet at the end of the day I only check off one or two items. And not necessarily the important ones! I just can’t seem to sit still long enough to get anything substantial done.

Do Not Surrender

Feeling stuck, like I’m spinning out of control, can be disastrous if I surrender to it … let it have dominion. It’s the precursor to procrastination. And even worse, Resistance. To beat back Resistance, I must go back to basics. For me, that means holding strong to my “5 Rules to Live By.” It means — and sometimes I forget this — that I must do my most important creative work first. And when I show up to work, even if I only write a couple of hundred words or edit a few pages, I remind myself that that’s progress. One more time, I’ve shown Resistance the door. I haven’t surrendered.

Do Nothing

Sunday morning run on 7 October 2018. Stopped at the midway point of a 13k run to capture the view of Toronto.

I am forever learning the art of work and play. Life is rich with all its beauty and with so many things to discover. Writing is very important to me, to my life, and each day I write I’m inching closer to realizing my dreams. But when I can’t focus, I know that it’s life speaking to me. And the message is this: take a break. Life isn’t, and shouldn’t be, all about writing. So, yesterday I decided to ‘take a day off.’ I binge-watched Deep State, starring Mark Strong. Loved it! But there was still a part of me that felt guilty, that inner voice that chastised me for not working.

But I know that doing nothing did me good. It stops me from always looking to the future and where I want to be. It grounds me in the present, in the now. Taking time to rest lets my body and mind recharge. It allows me to come back and tackle my writing projects with a new vigour and see their worth (or lack thereof) from a new perspective.

Gaining Traction

I’m slowly starting to gain traction. I’m settling back into a routine. Most importantly, I’m letting myself be a beginner again. Not every day is going to be perfect. Sometimes it’s going to feel like I’m writing uphill. There will be times when the writing feels stale and rigid, but I remind myself that it’s only a draft … nothing that can’t be fixed. Other days, still, will remind me of a bad run: I’ll cramp up, have to slow it down and rest, but I’ll keep going.

Stay focused. It’s the best way I’ve learned to weather the storm. And then something magical happens: I finish something. That offers reassurance, when doubt lingers large and heavy, that I am on the right path. I am not necessarily at the beginning or the end, but somewhere in between. That is the artist in me holding steadfast to my dreams.

The Story Behind the Story

by Leave a Comment

I didn’t always want to be a writer.

Actually, that’s not true. I didn’t always know that I wanted to be a writer. Growing up in a fairly religious household (staunch is, perhaps, the more apt word) and possessing a natural talent for the piano, I was encouraged to use my gift for the ‘Glory of God.’ So, I did … use my ‘gift,’ and spent my childhood and adolescence playing in church. And much to the dismay of the church elders! When I sat down at the piano, I could almost hear their moans and groans of disapproval before my fingers touched the keys. I had a penchant for doing the unthinkable: rearranging classic hymns like ‘How Great Thou Art,’ ‘Amazing Grace’ or ‘There’s Power in the Blood.’ I was doing something that — to my parents’ chagrin — came naturally to me. I was breaking the rules.

Although music dominated my formative years, I was a closeted writer. I wrote stories in notebooks and journals, which I hid under my bed. Returning to Canada after studying for eight months in Nice, France, that was when I realized writing — more than music — was my passion. And I gave myself over to it.

I quickly discovered that writing is a messy affair and that the road to success is paved with many obstacles (and rejection letters) along the way. But I wouldn’t be dissuaded. Despite how daunting the writing life could be, I knew it was my calling. And I had to heed the call.

So, I wasn’t surprised when, in the early part of 2005, I sat down and wrote a story about rules that mirrored my own life. My late teens to early twenties were turbulent years, and I needed rules to govern my daily life and to ground me. Those rules were … unbreakable. And that story, published in September 2005 and entitled, “Malachi and Cole,” later became my first published novel, Freestyle Love.

When Freestyle Love hit the electronic bookstores in 2011, I hoped for a bestseller. That didn’t happen. And that disappointed. I thought I’d written a good book. After all, I’d worked hard on the manuscript — editing, reediting and editing some more. The publisher told me they loved the story and asked for very few changes. The reviews — some good, some (many) not so good — had me doubting my talent as a writer. The book limped to a slow death, and was pulled from online when the rights reverted back to me five years later.

During those five years I kept writing, working to hone my skills. I read books on writing to find anything of value to help me become a better writer. I had also written another novel, and began researching what it would take to self-publish. So, I decided to go the self-publishing route with The Flowers Need Watering, which is available on Amazon.

I learned a hard lesson with Freestyle Love, one that I wouldn’t repeat with The Flowers Need Watering: the importance of a professional editor. In reviewing the manuscript for The Flowers Need Watering, my editor hit on all the big-ticket items — character and plot development, structure, continuity, story arc, theme development, repetition and plot holes. He didn’t only point out what wasn’t working, but also what worked well. Through that process I realized something else. Maybe Freestyle Love, despite what I thought at the time, wasn’t my best effort. Now I knew I could do better. So, I decided to try.

Taking it to the Next Level

Everything He Thought He Knew is a complete rewrite of Freestyle Love that has been through two rounds of vigorous editing by Dave Taylor of thEditors.com. I am eternally grateful for his insights and wisdom.

Throughout my writing journey, I’ve often felt ‘caught’ (Caught was the original title of Freestyle Love before publication) between the life expected of me and the one I imagined. Malachi Bishop and Cole Malcolm may or may not be caught by something more sinister: the idea of true love and its sure path. Malachi, a writer and professor of creative writing, is a rigid — even awful — man paralyzed by a long-held grief knotted around his heart. He is, perhaps, not the most likeable protagonist, but it’s my sincere hope that he is a real one. Cole, a successful management consultant, is older and unafraid of the things that love is all about. Everything He Thought He Knew tells a story of two men caught by love and betrayed by it. It is a journey of self-discovery that forces Malachi and Cole to confront their present and their past, bringing into question the larger fantasies of home and their place in the world.

Everything He Thought He Knew doesn’t guarantee the normative happily ever after ending of the romance genre. My hope is that it transcends it.

Available on October 10, 2018, you can read the first chapter or pre-order your copy of Everything He Thought He Knew here.

The Art of Keeping On

by Leave a Comment

The road is often long, filled with sharp, unexpected turns that almost send us tumbling. Some days we struggle to climb the mountain and its treacherous terrain. Other days we soar, feeling like nothing and no one can stop us — that anything and everything is possible. I like those days the best! Yet no matter what we face, no matter how daunting it may seem … we, as artists, keep on keeping on.

It’s an exciting time for me. I’m getting close to publishing my next novel, Everything He Thought He Knew. I now have an amazing cover (sneak peek to the right) thanks to Lieu Pham at Covertopia. The proof of the print edition arrived yesterday, and it looks great. The eBook edition is being formatted. It’s all coming together. Finally.

When it comes to Everything He Thought He Knew, the road has definitely been long, hard and, at times, seemingly impossible. It’s not just, as it started out to be, a ‘revised edition’ of Freestyle Love (published in 2011 by Lazy Day Publishing). It turned out to be a top-to-bottom rewrite of the story, with the central premise still intact. I had done a substantial rewrite of the original manuscript (Freestyle Love) before having it edited by thEditors. I thought, in hindsight naively, that I had nailed it. Until I received the manuscript back from my editor.

It wasn’t that it was a bad story or that the writing was mediocre. My editor did what he does best: he pointed out the problems with the character and plot development, story arc, structure, continuity, et. al. And he wasn’t wrong. And that sent me spinning and back to the drawing board. I got to work and hunkered down. What I thought would be a rather smooth and fast rewriting process took a lot longer than I had imagined. (According to my Master Projects List, I started working on this book 21 February 2017.) For a time, that had me down — wondering if I could actually get through the rewrite and publish the book.

What’s the Point?

I wanted to learn from my earlier mistakes and get this book ‘right,’ make it better than the first. So, I sent the manuscript back for another round of editing, which meant another round of revisions (but much less than the first go-round). Some days it was hard to see the progress I was making. That had me feeling down again. As much as I try not to compare myself with others, I sometimes feel frustrated watching other writers put out two or three books a year. I wonder what I’m doing ‘wrong,’ why I feel like I’m always lagging behind. Then that has me asking myself, “What’s the point?”

But the point is that — despite the challenges, the disappointments, the days I feel like I’ve lost my footing — I still show up to write. I resign from competition. I keep the end goal in sight and press on. That is, to me, the art of keeping on: with persistence and courage, doing the thing we are called to do and, every day, heeding that call.

What goal(s) are you trying to achieve? Are you determined to keep on keeping on? Let me know in the comments section below.

Roll with the Punches

by Leave a Comment

Sometimes in life there are things beyond your control. You have to learn to roll with the punches. And that’s not always easy.

Out for an early run this morning (29 August 2018), and taking a moment to enjoy the fantastic view of Toronto.

I know. I’m in a kind of precarious situation at the moment when it comes to my health. I’ve been in my doctor’s office three times since 6 August — first to discuss the symptoms that presented, then to follow up on each round of testing and decide the next course of action. There’s still no ‘clear’ indication of what’s happening or why. So, I wait. Wait for the next test, scheduled for next week, and then I’ll wait for those results. Waiting is the worst because, when I’m stuck inside my head, I imagine the worst of all scenarios. What if it’s this? What if it’s that? How will I react to whatever it is? Because maybe, after all is said and done, it’ll be nothing.

Still, I want to know what I’m dealing with, no matter what it is. The first diagnosis and course of treatment seemed to ‘solve’ one issue, then unearth another. What I love about technology is how it’s made accessing my healthcare reports easier. Through the Patient Portal, I can see when my results come in and my doctor’s instructions, like File or Contact Patient. I made the mistake on the weekend of checking to see if the latest round of test results were in. They were, but my doctor was on vacation, so I didn’t know if there was an ‘urgency’ — like the last time — for us to discuss them.

Returning from my doctor’s appointment yesterday, I know that it’s all beyond my control. Knowing that doesn’t stop me from brooding over what’s happening. I try to stay focused, but I know my productivity has taken a hit. Despite everything that’s happening, I’m trying to roll with the punches … take it all day by day.

But there’s a lesson in every situation. My takeaway is this: be sure that, wherever we are on our life journey, that we’re doing what we love. Now is the time to do it, because if we keep putting it off, we’ll never achieve the thing we feel we must do. We’ll never — and I love how Oprah Winfrey puts it — “[…] fulfill the highest, truest expression of ourselves as human beings.”[note]Oprah Winfrey, The Wisdom of Sundays, Flatiron Books, 2017, p. 8.[/note]

Now is the Time

Yes, now is the time, if you haven’t already, to strike out. Don’t wait until tomorrow to start training for that half-marathon. Don’t wait until you retire to write the book you’ve always felt was within you. Don’t wait until the beginning of the month to start that diet you’ve been talking about since 2016. Whatever you want to do, whatever you feel you can do … begin it. Now.

Let me give you an example of what can happen if you decide to wait. My father worked hard to provide for his family. It wasn’t until I was an adult, living on my own, that I understood the cost of raising a family, of living in this world (and that money didn’t grow on trees). We weren’t rich, we weren’t poor, but we never wanted for anything. We had the opportunity to travel — not extensively or luxuriously — but enough to not feel sheltered or uncultured. My father loved to travel and play golf. As his retirement neared, he said that travelling and playing golf would fill his days. A year and a half into his retirement (he was fifty-five when he retired), he was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer and given about six months to live. He fought, fought hard to live … to travel, play golf, and do what he loved. My father passed away at age fifty-eight, eighteen months after his diagnosis.

Strike Out Now

Yes, strike out now … just because you can, and that can yield fantastic results. Let me give you an example. At the beginning of 2018, I didn’t make any resolutions. I haven’t done that for over a decade. On 1 January, I woke up sick — sore throat, nasal congestion, and upset stomach. The cold lasted for about two weeks. Tired, feeling crappy and unusually irritable, I decided on 17 January that I was done with alcohol. No more drinking (I didn’t drink much, anyway). No more cooking with alcohol. My goal was to quit cold turkey. And I’ve been sober for more than 223 days. Together with running and paying closer attention to what I eat, I’ve lost twenty pounds. My energy level is up. I’m sleeping better. But I didn’t wait for the beginning of the next week or month to go sober. I started that day, a Wednesday, and didn’t look back.

Yes, I can’t stress it enough. Now is the time to begin. Do it. Now!