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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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habits

Change is Hard

February 26, 2024 by Marcus 6 Comments

Change is hard

I’ve got to be honest… Over the past few weeks, I’ve fallen back into some bad habits. I had been on a nice streak of doing certain things that would, if I had stuck with them, help bring some positive changes to my life. I’d done well at not eating sugary treats, then started baking again—and taste testing uncontrollably. I was stretching daily, then abruptly stopped. And now my hip flexors and calves are protesting. I was writing for an hour without distractions, and now I find myself ‘checking facts’ and ‘verifying information’…and tumbling headfirst down the internet rabbit hole. Change is hard.

And, at times, frustrating.

But that doesn’t mean you give up, especially if you truly believe in your dreams and where you want to go. [Read more…] about Change is Hard

Filed Under: Motivation, The Relentless Writer Series, Writing Life Tagged With: change, habits, relentess writer, stay focused

The Power of Change

January 26, 2023 by Marcus Leave a Comment

sobriety

Earlier this month, an anniversary slipped by without any fanfare. In fact, I had completely forgot about it. Because it represents something that now just feels normal, that I don’t have to think about. But I do think about it, just not in the same way: sobriety.

Five years ago, I stopped drinking. I wasn’t out bingeing or suffering through stomach-churning, mind-bending hangovers. On the days when I wasn’t flying (I was a flight attendant for 7.5 years before the pandemic, and there were strict rules around alcohol), I had a glass or two of wine with dinner. Wine also featured prominently in a lot of the dinner recipes I prepared since, back then, I was making my way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking (Child, Bertholle, and Beck). And dealing with sleep issues for most of my adult life, it became clear: I had to change my life. [Read more…] about The Power of Change

Filed Under: Motivation, Writing Life Tagged With: habits, intentional living, sobriety

7 Days of Bliss

November 4, 2020 by Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s like a magic pill. The moment I turn off social media, everything falls away. The overwhelm. The doubt. The fear of both success and failure. It’s the easiest way to get back to myself, to remind myself of what really matters. So, that’s what I did last week. I unplugged from social media, and that gave me seven days of bliss.

The ONE Thing

7 days of blissWhen life gets busy, and I feel overwhelmed, some of the things I love fall to the wayside. Like listening to podcasts. During my time away from social media, I downloaded a few episodes from the ‘Achieve Your Goals with Hal Elrod’ podcast. Elrod’s interview with Geoff Woods, the Vice-President of The ONE Thing, stopped me in my tracks. The conversation reminded me about all the ways I’ve gotten off track. And that to achieve my goals, I had to simply focus on one thing. My ONE thing. Writing. [Read more…] about 7 Days of Bliss

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: dreams, fulfillment, goals, habits, life lessons, live your best life, social media, stay focused, writing life

Course Correction

October 21, 2020 by Marcus Leave a Comment

When I learned to kayak, my instructor made swim the rapid. Even though I grew up with a pool in the backyard, I wasn’t a strong swimmer. And the lifejacket strapped to my body didn’t really comfort me, either. “Don’t panic. And take a big breath when the rapid shoots you out, because then it’s going to pull you back down again.” Sure enough, I panicked. Underwater, my arms flailed grandly as I tried to reach the surface. When my head popped out of the water, I took a breath — probably not as big as I should have — and then quickly disappeared underwater. When I came to the surface again, I was beyond spent and, to my dismay, headed straight for the next rapid. And I was desperately in need of a course correction. [Read more…] about Course Correction

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: course correction, creatives, do what you love, dreams, habits, live your best life, routine, writers, writing life

I’m a Hot Mess

March 11, 2020 by Marcus 2 Comments

I have a confession. Lately, I’ve been a hot mess. I’d hope that ‘going off the grid’ would help me focus, let me work on the things that I thought mattered most. And, so far, that’s been kind of true. Except for those five days in January when I had the stomach flu, I’ve met or exceeded my goal of running 50 km a week. I made steady progress on two writing projects. Stuck to my plan of spending less time on social media and, as a result, reduced my screen time and how often I reached for my cell phone.

But…

I’m a Hot Mess

I wasn’t satisfied with my progress. There were, still, too many days when other distractions crept in and stole the show. Picking up my post-run latte, I’d open the Starbucks app and see a new promotion to earn an extra 150 stars if I stopped in after 2:00 pm. Sure enough, at 2:01 I was leaving the condo for a drink I did not need. In the middle of editing, a flash to have burgers for dinner meant — right then — a trip to grocery story for buns. Watching an episode of Amazon’s Hunters during my lunch break easily turned into a binge-watching session (it’s that good!).

Dirty Little Secrets

a hot messHoled up in my London hotel room at the beginning of the month, I reviewed my goals for February — what I had completed and what I hadn’t. And I got mad. Mad! At myself. I was a hot mess because, when I was honest with myself, I wasn’t acting with intention. In fact, and despite what I wanted to believe, I’d been operating on autopilot mode. How many hours had I wasted watching reruns of Anger Management and The Shield? Too embarrassed to admit. How often had I thought about cleaning up my desk (it’s a perpetual disaster zone), but never took action? Hint: it still looks like it’s been hit by an atom bomb. How many times, twenty or thirty minutes into a writing session, had I been distracted by the clothes piled high in the laundry hamper or forgetting to turn on the dishwasher, and stopped writing to tackle them? Honestly, let’s not go there.

Here’s the thing… Every time I let distractions win, I never got my focus back. Over and over again, I lost the day to countless other tasks and errands that took me away from my focused and best work. The end result? Me constantly feeling unfulfilled, bitter and frustrated that I wasn’t doing more.

Dah!

Something had to change. And at first, I wasn’t sure what to do. Then, opening my phone to play ‘Wordscapes’ — and to again give in to distraction — my focus landed on the icon of the Flexday app I’d downloaded in January. If you haven’t heard of Flexday, it’s a service that offers workspaces in restaurants, retail and hotels for drop-in productivity. Time to finally try it out (you receive one free pass when you sign up), so I headed to one of the participating restaurants in my neighbourhood. On that first day, I spent from 9:00 am to 3:00 pm working on the rewrite of my novel. With no laundry or TV or dirty dishes to distract me, I’d made more progress on my rewrite in those six hours than I had in the previous three weeks. And before I packed everything up for the day, I signed up for Flexday’s Core Pass (monthly subscription) that gives me access to 30-plus core workspaces. And here’s the best part. By the end of the week and after only four visits, I’d completed the rewrite of my novel.

I realized that the main distraction in my life wasn’t the laundry or dishes or even my cluttered desk. It was my condo. Sharing seven hundred square feet with my partner, and wanting it to be both a refuge from the world and a workspace wasn’t working for me. Not anymore. If I wanted to do focused work and make real progress on the projects that matter most to me, I had to physically remove myself from that space. At least for now. And it’s working. (I’m writing this blog post from the restaurant Marben, which, here in Toronto, is the Flagship Flexday Workspace.)

One Day at a Time

I no longer feel like I’m a hot mess. One day at a time, I’m intentionally curating the life I imagine for myself. And better still, I’m staying focused on what matters most. Writing in an environment, where I’m surrounded by other entrepreneurs and creatives who are upping their productivity game and taking advantage of these inspiring workspaces around the city, inspires. And just like it says on the Flexday website, it really does “beats working from home or the coffee shop.”

Are you being intentional about how you spend your time? Are you curating the life you imagine for yourself? Click Reply to let me know. I love hearing from you!

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: creatives, distractions, habits, productivity, routine, writers, writing, writing life

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