Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

writers

Do the Hardest Thing: Begin Again

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the hardest thing

Day 1

As the end of March neared, I realized something: I wasn’t where I wanted to be. Or, perhaps it was more so that in the first three months of 2022, I hadn’t achieved what I’d set out to do. Somewhere, and somehow, along the way, I’d lost sight of my raison d’être. Not just in terms of my writing, but who I believed I could be/become.

Too many days unfocused. Too many days wondering in the hinterland of doubt and despair. Wondering more, ‘What’s the point?’ instead of asking myself, ‘What must I do to become the best version of myself and live my best life?’

And then came the realization, as I participated in a coaching session with Jeff Fajans, that the answer for the past three months was right in front of me. It always had been, but fear held me back from seeing it, from acknowledging it.

The answer, yes, was simple: Marcus, it’s time to do the hardest thing and begin again. [Read more…] about Do the Hardest Thing: Begin Again

Where Do We Go from Here?

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where do we go

A continuation of ‘An Unexpected Alliance‘

“Are you at least going to say goodbye?” Michael asked as he exited the house. His gaze landed on Brian, who was pacing the walk. “I mean, a little courtesy —”

“Courtesy?” Brian shoved his hands in his pockets. “Did you read what was in that file?”

Michael nodded. “I did.”

“So, ‘courtesy’ is turning someone’s life upside-down? My life?” Brian yanked his hands out of his pockets and, heading towards the vehicle, called out, “Let’s go.”

Michael, standing just outside the front door, glanced back inside. James and Julia stood in the middle of the foyer, Julia offering a look of understanding, James more so disappointment. “We’ll be in touch.” Then he strode to the Range Rover and settled in behind the steering wheel. Tried to catch Brian’s eye, but it was no use. Brian wouldn’t look at him, and during their seven years of marriage, Michael had learned when to push and when to hold back. He had to give Brian time to process and stew and brood. [Read more…] about Where Do We Go from Here?

Course Correction

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When I learned to kayak, my instructor made swim the rapid. Even though I grew up with a pool in the backyard, I wasn’t a strong swimmer. And the lifejacket strapped to my body didn’t really comfort me, either. “Don’t panic. And take a big breath when the rapid shoots you out, because then it’s going to pull you back down again.” Sure enough, I panicked. Underwater, my arms flailed grandly as I tried to reach the surface. When my head popped out of the water, I took a breath — probably not as big as I should have — and then quickly disappeared underwater. When I came to the surface again, I was beyond spent and, to my dismay, headed straight for the next rapid. And I was desperately in need of a course correction. [Read more…] about Course Correction

Getting Back to What Really Matters

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After taking the month of August off to ‘rest and recharge,’ I’m easing back into a routine of sorts. I’ve always thought of September (or autumn) as the beginning of my creative cycle. It’s the time of year when I either start writing a new major work or begin rewriting a project that I’ve let rest for several months. And, usually, I bring boundless energy and enthusiasm to whatever I undertake. But this time, I’m coming at it all shaken and asking myself this: am I focused on what really matters?

Stopping Social Media from Stealing My Time

For me, taking time to rest means stepping back and slowing down, which is a real struggle at times. A big part of that is disconnecting from social media. In the early days of August, I tried not posting on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, sending text messages, or frequently opening WhatsApp. And I did everything to avoid the negativity permeating the news cycle. To focus on what really matters (at the time, that was preparing for the release of my next book later this year), it was imperative to keep distractions at bay. [Read more…] about Getting Back to What Really Matters

How I Lost and Found My Groove

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When I started my vacation on 10 March, it was just days before the world began to turn in on itself because of COVID-19. Nothing had really changed for me, though. I was still waking up around 3:30 or 4:00 to write while the rest of the world slept. Then, after a run, I’d return to the business of writing for a good chunk of the day before prepping dinner late in the afternoon. My evening ritual of either reading or watching reruns of Two and a Half Men rounded out the day. I had my groove on.

But as my vacation transitioned to an involuntary leave of absence and then a layoff, there was a shift. Since I had the condo to myself, I started going to bed later, which meant getting up later. Still writing in the morning, I’d unexpectedly become an early afternoon runner (lesson learned: not my greatest time to run). Something else was at play, too. My body was adjusting to not zipping through time zones. I had lost my rhythm, fell out of my groove. [Read more…] about How I Lost and Found My Groove