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Marcus Lopés

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Writing Life

Do the Hardest Thing: Begin Again

April 4, 2022 by Marcus 3 Comments

the hardest thing

Day 1

As the end of March neared, I realized something: I wasn’t where I wanted to be. Or, perhaps it was more so that in the first three months of 2022, I hadn’t achieved what I’d set out to do. Somewhere, and somehow, along the way, I’d lost sight of my raison d’être. Not just in terms of my writing, but who I believed I could be/become.

Too many days unfocused. Too many days wondering in the hinterland of doubt and despair. Wondering more, ‘What’s the point?’ instead of asking myself, ‘What must I do to become the best version of myself and live my best life?’

And then came the realization, as I participated in a coaching session with Jeff Fajans, that the answer for the past three months was right in front of me. It always had been, but fear held me back from seeing it, from acknowledging it.

The answer, yes, was simple: Marcus, it’s time to do the hardest thing and begin again. [Read more…] about Do the Hardest Thing: Begin Again

Filed Under: Self-Publishing, Writing Life Tagged With: deep work, distractions, live your best life, stay focused, writers, writing life

Is It Too Late for Us?

April 21, 2021 by Marcus 1 Comment

A continuation of “Past Present Future”

The Gulfstream G200 banked to the right, and Michael stared out the window at the floor of white fluffy clouds below. He couldn’t see the ocean, and that was a good thing. The seat belt sign had gone off two hours ago, but the black strap was still secured tightly at his waist. And he’d wait until his bladder was set to burst before even thinking about getting up. At least he’d managed to keep his coffee down as the plane pitched and rolled during the climb to their cruising altitude. Turbulence wasn’t just like ‘riding down a bumpy dirt road,’ like his grandmother had told him. Not when there was thirty-seven thousand feet between him and the surface of the Atlantic Ocean.

Michael flinched when the hand pressed down on his shoulder. He looked up to see those owlish grey-green eyes fixed on him. Despite what he wanted to believe, they still had a certain power over him. [Read more…] about Is It Too Late for Us?

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: fiction, gay fiction, gay romance, short story, thriller

Past Present Future

April 6, 2021 by Marcus 2 Comments

past present future

“Don’t give your uncle any trouble,” his father had said and, in an unusual display of affection, hugged him. “I’m doing this for you … because I love you.”

That was what Michael Reid remembered about the day his father dropped him off at the airport. The first time in his life his father had said, “I love you.” Most kids probably would have thought that their dad was trying to get rid of them. He knew his father was protecting him, helping him escape a home that was burning down around him. His mother’s mania was the worst it had been in years. He had the scar on his arm where she’d burned a cigarette that proved it and that had been, for his father, the final straw.

So, he was sent to live with his Uncle Clive in London. Wasn’t his blood uncle, because neither of his parents had siblings. But Clive Darling, who also served in the Persian Gulf where they’d met, was the closest thing his father had to a brother.

And Michael adapted quickly to life in the area known as St. John’s Wood. But, at fifteen, his biggest challenge was crossing the road safely. The signs painted on the street, to ‘Look Right’ or ‘Look Left’ had saved his life. Repeatedly. His school mates teased him about his accent, but he didn’t mind. Anything was better than locking himself in his room to escape his parents’ Olympic shouting matches. And while he was only supposed to be gone a year — to not have to watch his mother being involuntarily committed for psychiatric treatment — he stayed long enough to complete his sixth form studies at Harris Academy. Did so well in school that his Uncle Clive convinced his father that he should remain to attend university, too. But the summer before he was set to begin at King’s College London, his mother committed suicide. He returned to Halifax for her funeral and, to his surprise, stayed. [Read more…] about Past Present Future

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: am writing, fiction, gay fiction, gay romance, short story

The Scary Part of Goal Setting

February 4, 2021 by Marcus 1 Comment

I’ve been consistent about setting goals and writing them down for the past three years, maybe a little longer. But there’s one thing I never did.⁠
⁠
I never shared them.

Why?⁠

Because I was hanging on to limiting beliefs. Afraid that people would laugh at me. Mock me. Tell me I’m crazy.⁠
⁠
But at some point, you have to stop running from yourself. I had to stop running from myself.⁠
⁠
If there’s one thing I took away from Gary John Bishop’s Unfu*k Yourself, it’s this: “I am not my thoughts; I am what I do.”⁠
⁠
There are, for me, two parts to “I am what I do.” One, I am a writer. That is what I do. No other job in this world will give me the high or a stronger sense of purpose and self. Second, showing up every day to write, and to share it with the world is also what I do. If I don’t do any of those things, if I don’t take action, then there’s no possible way I can achieve my dreams.⁠
[Read more…] about The Scary Part of Goal Setting

Filed Under: Self-Publishing, Writing Life Tagged With: do what you love, dreambig, goals, live your best life, writing life

1,578,240 Minutes and Counting

January 17, 2021 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Or 1,096 days. Or 36 months.

That’s how long it’s been since I stopped drinking on 17 January 2018.

“Why?” many of my friends and colleagues asked with bewilderment as much as curiosity.

Most didn’t like the answer: Because I wanted to change my life.

No one pressured me to stop drinking. When it came to alcohol, I knew my limit and respected it. Alcohol wasn’t ravaging my life. “Then…why?” people continued to ask. [Read more…] about 1,578,240 Minutes and Counting

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: be yourself, creatives, live your best life, productivity, sobriety, stay focused, writing life

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