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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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Who Do You Trust…?

April 6, 2022 by Marcus 3 Comments

who do you trust

This is a continuation of ‘The Standoff‘

“Brian, you’re not giving me much of a choice.” Michael took another step forward. “Put down your weapon. You’re angry. I get that. But killing Clarke right now —”

A shot rang out.

Michael’s eyes widened as Adam Clarke’s head flung backwards, and his body slid off the bench and crashed onto the cement floor. Blood and bits of brain, skin and hair created a Jackson Pollock-esque painting on the wall. Then Michael pivoted hard to his left to see Josh lowering his gun.

“He needed to be put down,” Josh said unapologetically.

“He was our only goddamn lead!” Michael barked.

“He was a pawn,” Brian chimed in.

Michael swung his head back in Brian’s direction. “What do you mean?” [Read more…] about Who Do You Trust…?

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: creative writing, gay fiction, short story, story

Whatever It Takes

September 8, 2021 by Marcus 3 Comments

Whatever It Takes

This is a continuation of ‘Never Leave a Man Behind‘

“What are you saying exactly?” Brian asked.

Michael, holding Brian’s hands, applied a little pressure. “What you did hurt me, Brian, and I’m still angry. I’ll get over it. Maybe not completely, but I…” He bit his lip. “When it comes to our marriage, until certain events … it seemed like we were always on our honeymoon.”

“Does that mean you still —”

“Yes, silly. I still love you.”

“You can understand, though, why I’m asking, right?” [Read more…] about Whatever It Takes

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: amwriting, gay fiction, short story, story, thriller

An Unexpected Alliance

June 16, 2021 by Marcus 2 Comments

an unexpected alliance

A continuation of ‘Are You Ready for the Truth‘

As the vehicle passed through the towering iron gates, Brian drew in a breath. Then, nearing the elegant grey-stone house that looked like a chateau, his stomach flipped. Was it too late to back out? He just sat there after Michael killed the engine and got out. When his door opened, he kept his gaze trained on his lap. “I need a minute.”

Michael placed his hand on Brian’s shoulder. “You don’t have to do this.”

“We need answers, right?” Brian undid his seat belt, forcing Michael’s hand off his shoulder. Took a breath, then exited the Range Rover. Stepped aside as Michael closed the door, his head down and now staring at his feet. Michael’s black leather shoes came into view, and that was when he looked up. The power of those dark brown eyes easily hypnotized him, that familiar question poking at him: what happened to us? He ran his hands through his hair, cupping them briefly to the back of his head before letting them drop to his sides. “If Adam Clarke sold me out to Angelique, then I want to make him pay.” [Read more…] about An Unexpected Alliance

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: gay fiction, short story, story, thrillers

Stay Focused

October 7, 2018 by Marcus Leave a Comment

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Actually, I’m terrified. That’s because in four days my next book, Everything He Thought He Knew, will be released on Amazon. While it’s available for pre-order now, it’s not technically out in the world for public consumption. I’ve been here before — the waiting, the anticipation, the anxiousness. Will readers like it? Hate it? What kind of reviews will it get? Those are things, I know, that are out of my control. I have to stay focused. Then why am I scared? Because I must keep going. The publication of this novel is part of a larger dream. Chasing down that dream means I need to keep writing, get to work on the next book. I must stay focused.

It’s been a long journey filled with success, failure, joy and disappointment. And through it all, I’ve kept going. Because I have a dream. (I shared my experience in writing Everything He Thought He Knew in my last blog post, “The Story Behind the Story.”)

As 10 October (the launch date for Everything He Thought He Knew) nears, it’s been harder to stay focused. It’s not an unusual feeling. It happens every time I finish a big project. No matter how hard I try to move forward, I feel like I’m spinning. I look at the writing projects piled on my desk and don’t know how to begin. I write my to-do list and prioritize what’s most important. Yet at the end of the day I only check off one or two items. And not necessarily the important ones! I just can’t seem to sit still long enough to get anything substantial done.

Do Not Surrender

Feeling stuck, like I’m spinning out of control, can be disastrous if I surrender to it … let it have dominion. It’s the precursor to procrastination. And even worse, Resistance. To beat back Resistance, I must go back to basics. For me, that means holding strong to my “5 Rules to Live By.” It means — and sometimes I forget this — that I must do my most important creative work first. And when I show up to work, even if I only write a couple of hundred words or edit a few pages, I remind myself that that’s progress. One more time, I’ve shown Resistance the door. I haven’t surrendered.

Do Nothing

Sunday morning run on 7 October 2018. Stopped at the midway point of a 13k run to capture the view of Toronto.

I am forever learning the art of work and play. Life is rich with all its beauty and with so many things to discover. Writing is very important to me, to my life, and each day I write I’m inching closer to realizing my dreams. But when I can’t focus, I know that it’s life speaking to me. And the message is this: take a break. Life isn’t, and shouldn’t be, all about writing. So, yesterday I decided to ‘take a day off.’ I binge-watched Deep State, starring Mark Strong. Loved it! But there was still a part of me that felt guilty, that inner voice that chastised me for not working.

But I know that doing nothing did me good. It stops me from always looking to the future and where I want to be. It grounds me in the present, in the now. Taking time to rest lets my body and mind recharge. It allows me to come back and tackle my writing projects with a new vigour and see their worth (or lack thereof) from a new perspective.

Gaining Traction

I’m slowly starting to gain traction. I’m settling back into a routine. Most importantly, I’m letting myself be a beginner again. Not every day is going to be perfect. Sometimes it’s going to feel like I’m writing uphill. There will be times when the writing feels stale and rigid, but I remind myself that it’s only a draft … nothing that can’t be fixed. Other days, still, will remind me of a bad run: I’ll cramp up, have to slow it down and rest, but I’ll keep going.

Stay focused. It’s the best way I’ve learned to weather the storm. And then something magical happens: I finish something. That offers reassurance, when doubt lingers large and heavy, that I am on the right path. I am not necessarily at the beginning or the end, but somewhere in between. That is the artist in me holding steadfast to my dreams.

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: books, focus, indie author, novel, productivity, rest, story, work and play, writers life, writing, writing life

Against His Will: Immersion

June 22, 2018 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Jonas, his gaze fixed on his phone, took a step forward when the line moved. He couldn’t shake the heaviness in his head, as if he’d been up all night drinking. He hadn’t. It was something worse than that. He had the dream again, waking up to soaked bedsheets, and his chest and back covered in sweat. By the time he cooled off and changed the bed, he was wide awake. That was at two thirty. Then he couldn’t get back to sleep. He drifted off at some point, and the next thing he heard was his alarm, The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir singing, ‘Hallelujah Anyhow.’ He hit ‘Stop’ and closed his eyes. When he looked at his phone again, it was eight minutes to seven. His heart racing, he shot out of the bed and into the bathroom.

“Next!” a croaky voice called out.

Jonas raised his head and returned the smile of the sleepy-eyed redhead. “Morning, Seth. Late night?”

“Can’t really say it ended.” Seth laughed, which turned into a hacking cough. “Medium Americano?”

“Make it a large this morning.”

“Were we at the same party?” Seth winked.

“I don’t think so,” Jonas said, punching his PIN code into the keypad of the card reader. Once the transaction was approved, he yanked out his bank card and slipped it back into his wallet. “Have a good day.”

“You, too, Mr. Martin.”

Jonas moved towards the far end of the bar-counter to wait for his drink. He checked the time. It was almost eight and he was way behind schedule. Well, not really. It was more that his routine had been upended. Oversleeping, he hadn’t had time to write, and that was worse than if he’d had to go without coffee. He’d be irritable until he got in some writing time, which now probably wouldn’t be until lunchtime. His attention was back on his phone as he scrolled through his work e-mail, deleting messages he wasn’t going to respond to and flagging those he’d tackle once he was at his desk.

The chatter was on the rise, easily breaking Jonas’s focus. Now, whenever he looked up from his phone he cased the area. He heard that adenoidal voice and zeroed in on the woman wearing a vibrant, floral hoodie and who always ordered an extra hot vanilla bean latte. A few feet to his left he saw the tall brunette leaning down to kiss the petite blonde. They were married, just not to each other. He’d heard the man say, “My wife might get suspicious,” as they tried to plan a weekend getaway. Then Jonas focused on Seth, who tried to remain calm as the woman, elegantly dressed in a navy pants suit, complained that her cappuccino was too hot. Yesterday it was too cold. And, like every day, she held up the line as the barista made her a new drink.

“Large Americano for Mr. Martin,” the black-haired guy grunted from behind the counter.

Jonas ducked in quickly to pick up his drink. He didn’t like how the café staff called him Mr. Martin when they referred to the other customers by their first names. It felt like they were making a big deal about him, like he was a ‘celebrity.’ Maybe he was kind of famous, but he didn’t like to draw attention to himself. He went to the condiments table and stirred cream and a brown sugar sachet into his beverage. Then, as he started towards the exit, he froze. “What the…?” He stared curiously at the man seated at the table near the door.

“Good morning, Jonas,” Brent said. “Running a little late this morning?”

Jonas took a step forward. “What are you doing here?”

“Straight to the point.” Brent sipped his coffee. “I like that.”

“You’re right,” Jonas said, giving free reign to the frustration building inside of him. “I’m running late and don’t have time for this.”

Brent stood when Jonas went to leave. “I’d like to continue our conversation from yesterday.”

“I wasn’t interested then and I’m not interested now.” Jonas looked critically at Brent a moment longer before bolting out of the café. He’d made it to the first intersection where, waiting for the light to change, he felt a hand on his shoulder. “This isn’t funny,” he growled when Brent came into view.

“It’s not meant to be,” Brent said, removing his hand.

“It’s kind of creepy, actually.”

“You leave your condo almost every morning at six,” Brent said. “You’re at the café by quarter after and write for about an hour.”

Jonas, his eyes wide open, staggered backwards. “Are you stalking me?”

“You’re in your office by seven forty-five but don’t open the door until eight.” Brent spoke quickly so Jonas couldn’t interrupt. “You take your lunch from twelve thirty to one thirty, no exceptions. Most days, you leave the office at five thirty, and only stay later when it’s necessary. Outside of work, you spend a lot of time alone … writing. How many books have you published? Six, I believe. Thursday nights you have drinks with Jeff Baldwin, your best friend who still longs to be more than that. And at least twice a month you get together with Jeff, Cameron and a few others from university.” He paused. “You miss Ethan. You haven’t let anyone else into your life since his death and —”

“Who the fuck are you?” Jonas asked, his voice cracking.

“Like I’ve said before … someone who wants to talk to you about a job. I’d like you to hear me out.”

Jonas checked the time. “Look, I … I’ve got to go.”

“You’ve already called in sick today,” Brent said. “Check your phone.”

Jonas pulled out his phone and on the screen was a text message from his boss. Take all the time you need. Hope you’re feeling better soon. He levelled his gaze at Brent. “What the fuck is going on?”

“You’re not one to use so many expletives,” Brent said. “It’s one of the things we like about you. You’re always calm under pressure. That’s a great quality.”

“Who’s ‘we?’”

“Come with me. I’ll explain everything.” Brent started to move when the ‘Walk’ indicator appeared.

Jonas didn’t move. His head was spinning and he felt nauseous. What’s happening? What’s going on? It wasn’t until the ‘Don’t Walk’ signal flashed that he stepped into the street. There was a will far greater than his own that had him following Brent. Curiosity? Fear? Jonas didn’t know. But he couldn’t stop himself.

Ten minutes later, he and Brent entered the lobby of the World Exchange Plaza. They rode the elevator of Tower II to the seventh floor. They entered the suite of offices belonging to Atlas World Corp., greeted by a muscular brunette who signed him in as a ‘Visitor.’ When Jonas saw the gun holstered on the guy’s waist, he almost threw up his last mouthful of coffee.

“This way,” Brent said as he punched a code into the keypad next to the door behind the reception desk. At the clicking sound, Brent pushed it open.

Jonas could feel himself trembling as he walked towards Brent. He didn’t know what was on the other side of the door or if he really wanted to find out. All he knew was that walking through that door meant one thing.

His life would never be the same.

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: amwriting, espionage, fiction, fictionfriday, flash fiction, life-changing, short story, spy, story, thriller, writing

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