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Marcus Lopés

LGTBQIA2S+ Author, Blogger, Runner

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The Visit: The Complete Story

June 8, 2018 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Trevor, seated on the living room sofa reading, looked up from his book when the doorbell sounded. His wide camel-brown eyes sidled the clock on the mantelpiece. Twelve minutes past eleven on Saturday morning and he wasn’t expecting anyone. He kept reading until he heard the thunder of feet barreling down the staircase and shifted his focus to the front hall.

“Oh, how marvellous,” the nasal voice said. “You’re home.”

Trevor closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. Oh, dear Lord … not today, was his silent supplication. He opened his eyes, folded down the top corner of the page to mark his spot and closed the book. He shook his head when the tall brunette entered the living room, offering that goofy smile that even after four years still made him feel buttery inside. “Oliver —”

“Look who’s here,” Oliver said nervously when the silver-haired woman appeared at his side.

Trevor placed his book down on the coffee table, stood and crossed to the woman. “Always a delight, Phyllis.” He kissed her lightly on the cheek.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Phyllis said dryly, then turned to Oliver. “Could I trouble you for a cup of tea?”

“Sure,” Oliver said and bolted for the kitchen.

“You know how I like it,” she called out after him.

Trevor thrust himself back onto the sofa. “With a dash of cyanide.”

“Ha-ha.” Phyllis lowered herself onto the other matching sofa. “We should try to get along, especially if this thing between you and my son is going to go on for a while.”

“You mean we should pretend to get along.” Trevor reached for his book and flipped it open. “I’m okay with not liking each other. That’d mean we wouldn’t have to speak to each other, right?”

“I don’t understand why you don’t like me,” Phyllis snapped.

The book slipped through Trevor’s fingers and onto his lap. “You don’t understand why I don’t like you?”

“I’ve been nothing but kind —”

“Kind?” Trevor howled. “That from the woman who said to Oliver, when he first brought me home to meet you, ‘Why are you dating a black man?’”

“Well, I … it was a shock.”

“Was it still the shock when you organized a surprise party for Oliver’s thirtieth birthday and didn’t invite me?” He rolled his eyes as Phyllis just sat there, her shifty ice blue eyes roving the room. “We’d been living together for two years.”

“That’s not how I remember it,” Phyllis shot back.

Trevor sucked his teeth. “Of course not.”

“My other sons and daughters-in-law adore me.”

Trevor, trying to tamp down his urge to laugh, dropped his head.

“Just the other day Laura told me that I was her favourite mother-in-law.”

Trevor looked up, an eyebrow raised. “How many mothers-in-law has Laura had?”

“How droll.” Phyllis adjusted the silk scarf around her neck. “How come I’ve never met your parents?”

Trevor bristled. “Would you want to? I mean, they’re black like me.”

“Trevor!” Oliver cried as came into the room.

“If you’re serious about meeting them,” Trevor said, trying to suppress his smirk, “they’re in the urn on the mantelpiece.”

“Trevor…” Oliver sounded exasperated. He handed the teacup and saucer to his mother. “Just the way you like it.” He moved around to the other sofa, sat down next to Trevor and stared questioningly at his mother. “So?”

“It’s delightful,” Phyllis said after sipping her tea.

Oliver scratched his forehead. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh…” Phyllis blinked magnificently. “Well, sometimes, that man is impossible.”

“Ha!” Trevor slapped his hand on his thigh and couldn’t stifle his cackling laugh.

Oliver drove his elbow into Trevor’s side. “What did Dad do this time?”

“Do?” Phyllis shook her head violently. “He doesn’t do anything but sit in front of the TV. So I left. Now I need a place to stay.”

Oliver swallowed repeatedly. “You want to stay here?”

“Your other siblings…” Phyllis’s voice cracked. “They said it would be … inconvenient.”

“Ha!” Trevor leaned forward, his sides cramping and tears in his eyes.

“Stop that,” Oliver said through gritted teeth.

Phyllis set the cup and saucer on the coffee table. “It’ll probably be inconvenient for you, too.”

“Mom…” Oliver touched his hand to Trevor’s thigh. “Of course you can stay with us.”

Trevor sat up straight, his eyes wild and locked on Oliver. “Really?”

“She’s my mother,” Oliver said in a whisper. “I just can’t —”

Trevor waved him off. “I need a drink.” He stormed out of the room.

“I’ve never really liked him,” Phyllis said when she was alone with Oliver.

Oliver flicked his eyebrows. “I think the feeling’s mutual.”

***

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Trevor warned, yanking out the cork from the bottle of Lagavulin. He poured another generous amount into the crystal tumbler, jammed the cork back in and returned the bottle to the counter with a hard clank. “You’re not my favourite person at the moment.” He felt the weight of hands on his shoulders, then started to squirm as the wet tongue traced the curve of his ear.

“You love me,” that gravelly voice said. “Don’t fight it.”

That voice … it was what had hooked him, had his manhood stirring with the simple, “Hello,” that Oliver greeted him with on their first date. Now wasn’t the time to be nostalgic.

Trevor twisted out of Oliver’s grasp and shot off the stool. He looked in Oliver’s direction but not right at him. This was his time to be strong, to stand his ground. He wouldn’t cower to Oliver’s dreamy, sapphire blue eyes. Not this time. “She can’t stay here.”

“I can’t throw her out tonight,” Oliver said, taking a step forward.

Trevor took a matching step backwards. “I can.”

“Trevor…” Oliver rushed Trevor, who didn’t have time to react, and held him close. “She’s my mother … what do you expect me to do?”

Trevor tried to break free, twisting and turning, but Oliver held on.

“Stop fighting and just listen,” Oliver said, almost shouting.

Trevor struggled for another twenty seconds, then stood there absolutely still. When he felt Oliver’s grip relax, he pushed away violently. “I’m your partner. That should count for something.”

Oliver, after making an unsuccessful play for Trevor’s hand, folded his arms. “You’re not making this easy.”

“I’m not making this easy?” Trevor massaged his temple. “You do understand why your mother and I can’t be under the same roof, don’t you?”

“Trevor —”

“No, no,” Trevor said, waving his hand in disagreement. “She doesn’t get a free pass for what happened last week. Maybe you need a reminding…”

Trevor felt his chest tightening as he recounted the events of last Sunday. It was their turn to host the monthly family dinner that had long been a tradition in Oliver’s family. More of a cook than Oliver, Trevor spent the day before preparing for the meal and the mob set invade their home. And just before their first guest arrived Oliver, sporting that goofy smile that always made Trevor swoon, told him everything was perfect.

While Oliver showed off his new R1 motorcycle to his brothers, Trevor was alone in the kitchen cleaning up. He didn’t want any help. He wanted to be on his own, have a little peace. When he was almost done, he went to return the oversized turkey platter to the sideboard in the dining room. He heard the hushed voices and stopped outside the sliding doors, which he’d left slightly ajar. He immediately recognized that nasal voice. Phyllis! He discreetly looked into the room to see his ‘mother-in-law’ who, standing by the patio doors and with her back to him, had Oliver’s younger sister Andrea cornered.

“I’ve always thought Oliver could do better,” Phyllis said. “He seems happy—”

“Oliver is happy,” Andrea said firmly. “God, don’t you see the way he and Trevor look at each other? It’s like they’re the only ones in the room. Theo and I stopped looking at each other that way after two years.”

“I don’t understand…” Phyllis cut herself off, her exasperation gaining dominion. “I raised him better than that. If only the South had won that war things would definitely be different. Especially here in Halifax.”

Trevor pushed one of the sliding doors open so hard that when it bounced in the frame the entire house fell silent.

Phyllis spun around, her face twisting in shock. “Oh, Trevor, I was just telling Andrea —”

“‘If only the South had won that war,’” he said slowly, a way to tamp down the anger flowing through his veins.

Phyllis let out a forced laugh. “Oh, it’s just a manner of speaking.”

“‘A manner of speaking,’” Trevor repeated caustically.

Phyllis, unsure what to do with her hands, clasped them behind her back. “Well, back then … it was just the natural order of things. It made things simpler.”

“Mom, I think we should go,” Andrea said, panicked. She tried to nudge her mother out of the room.

Oliver appeared and, when he saw the disbelief raging in Trevor’s face, slumped against the door. “Mom, what did you do now?”

The phone rang, and Trevor rolled his eyes as Oliver sprinted to answer it. God, some days he’s such a momma’s boy. He crossed to the island counter, picked up his scotch and drained it. Oliver was back and before he could say anything, Trevor threw him a warning look. “Who was that?”

“Dad,” Oliver said, tapping his foot. “He said he … had the locks changed.”

“That’s it!” Trevor started for the door. “This isn’t a one-night thing. And I’m not going to be miserable in my own home. She can go to a hotel.”

Oliver grabbed Trevor by the arm. “Trevor —”

“I’ll make it simple…” Trevor jerked his arm away. “It’s either her or me.”

***

Oliver slammed the door and marched into the living room. “We need to talk.”

Phyllis, seated on the sofa reading Maclean’s, looked up and smiled. “I’m so glad you’re home. It’s been horrible having no one to talk to.” She tossed the magazine onto the coffee table. “Tell me all about your day.”

“Mom, I’m not seven years old,” Oliver said brutishly. “I don’t want to talk about my goddamn day.” He lowered himself onto the sofa, clasped his hands together on his lap and locked his gaze on his mother. “Don’t you realize what you’re doing?”

Phyllis bristled. “All I did was ask my son about his day and he bit my head off. I didn’t raise him to speak to me like that.”

“You don’t think you deserve it?” he asked, unable to check his surprise.

“I most certainly do not.” Phyllis stood and went to leave the room.

“Sit down, Mom,” Oliver said, almost shouting.

Phyllis spun around. “I won’t stand here and let you talk to me like I’m … a two-bit hussy.”

Oliver bounced off the sofa and charged across the room, grabbing his mother by the arm as she started again for the door. “I’m not talking to you like a ‘two-bit hussy.’ I’m talking to you like a…” He censored himself before he could say the word that would have taken them to a point of no return. He shepherded her back to the sofa and forced her to sit. He drew in a deep breath, held on to it a few seconds, then pushed it out violently through his nose. “You’re my mother, and I love you. I don’t know if you’re being like this because of what’s going between you and Dad, or —”

“Being like what?” Phyllis interrupted.

“Insufferable!” Oliver said with emphasis. “You’re being mean, and the things you say … I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but you keep hurting me.”

“Hurting you?” Phyllis’s voice pitched high with disbelief. “How am I hurting you?”

“Really?” Oliver ran his hand down the side of his face. “Are you going to sit there and play dumb?” There was a silence. “I love Trevor. He’s my light. When I’m sick, he makes me homemade soup. He makes me laugh by hogging the blankets when we climb into bed because I steal them in the night. Or so he tells me. When I lost my job two years ago because of cutbacks, he said, ‘Don’t worry … I’ve got this.’ That let me take the time I needed to find the next right thing. He’s been … he’s good to me. I thought you of all people would appreciate that.”

“I don’t know…” Phyllis, dodging Oliver’s gaze, reached for the Maclean’s magazine. “I don’t know how you ever got mixed up with those people.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Oliver barked and snatched the magazine away. “All you see is the colour of his skin. I see who he is.” He dropped his head and bit down on his lip. “This isn’t just my home. It’s Trevor’s, too. That’s why … you can’t stay here.”

“Where am I supposed to go?” Phyllis asked, indignant.

Oliver rose. “I don’t know and, frankly, I don’t care. But you being here … you’re tearing my home and my world apart. It has to stop.”

“Oliver, I’m —”

Oliver raised a hand. “Please just pack your things and go.” He strode out of the room and down the hall to Trevor’s office. He stood in the doorway and waited to hear the clickety-clack of his mother’s high heels against the hardwood floor. He’d finally stood up to her — stood up for his life and his worth.

As his gaze fell on Trevor’s desk where the laptop used to be, he felt the tears pooling in his eyes. He could still hear the savageness in Trevor’s alto voice. “I’ll make it simple … it’s either her or me.” Oliver had said nothing, watching as the rage in Trevor’s camel-brown eyes turned to disappointment. And he remained silent when Trevor sprinted up the stairs. He thought it was a bluff until Trevor appeared at the front door with his suitcase and satchel. He knew Trevor waited for him to say something, but he just stood there with his mouth agape. Then Trevor slipped out of the house, and the life he’d imagined was in pieces.

A loud bang made Oliver jump, and he looked up at the ceiling. “What’s she up to now?” He pulled out his phone and dialled Trevor’s cell number. After the fourth ring, it cut away to voicemail. He hung up without leaving a message.

Then came the thud of the front door closing. He raced into the living room and stood in front of the window. He watched as his mother got into her silver Volvo and felt, for the first time in almost a week, relief. He pulled up Trevor’s number again on his phone and dialled. Still no answer. But this time, when prompted to leave a message, he said the only two words that mattered, “She’s gone.”

Was it enough to convince Trevor to come home?

God, he hoped so.

And when his phone rang five minutes later — Trevor’s name lighting up the screen — he was about to find out.

***

Trevor went to jam his key in the lock when the front door swung open. He did not — could not — move as those dreamy, sapphire-blue eyes bore into him. Something was different. It wasn’t Oliver’s usual intent look of desire that could have them devouring each other before they made it to the bedroom. No, it was something worse. Disappointment.

Oliver stepped forward and reached for Trevor’s suitcase, dragging it into the house. He set it by the foot of the staircase, then slipped his hands in his pockets. “Are you going to come in?”

Trevor stepped into the house and closed the door. The dominant silence that followed, broken only by the tick-tock of the wall clock, had his chest tightening. It was like, all of a sudden, they didn’t know how to speak to each other or how to act.

“So what happens next?” Oliver asked with an edge.

“I’m not sure,” Trevor said quietly, his gaze held to the floor.

“Do you want to stay?”

Trevor looked up. “What?”

“Do you want to stay?” Oliver repeated brutishly. “Or do you just want to … end this. I mean, you won’t look at me so maybe you didn’t want to come back here after all.”

Trevor levelled his gaze at Oliver. “I didn’t know what I was coming back to.”

“I told you when I called that my mother was gone.”

“It took you four days to get her out of this house,” Trevor said, almost shouting, “out of our house.”

“She’s my mother,” Oliver countered. “She was upset. What was I supposed to do?”

“Stand up for me. Stand up for us.” Trevor folded his arms. “She has ridiculed me since you took me to meet her. All she’s done is make me feel like I’m second-rate because I’m black. And it’s always been clear that she’d rather you be with anyone but me. And you’ve never stood up to her, always telling me, ‘She grew up in a different time. Things were different then.’ Fuck, Oliver, it’s 2016. Maybe … maybe you’re ashamed to be with me.”

Oliver’s eyes went wide. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Then maybe I shouldn’t be here after all.” Trevor adjusted the strap of his satchel on his shoulder. “There you go again, not saying anything. You’re still defending her.”

“I kicked my mother out of the house two days ago,” Oliver spat, moving to intercept Trevor. “I told her to leave because she kept hurting me, hurting you in our home … and that it had to stop. Two days, I called you, told you she was gone. Why…” He blinked rapidly to force back the tears banking in his eyes. “Why didn’t you come home then? Why did you wait so long?”

Trevor looked down. He’d waited because he needed time to think. When Oliver had invited Phyllis to stay, without them discussing it, Trevor was no longer sure where he belonged. After he left, he wasn’t sure if this house could ever be home again. He felt the warm hand envelope his and raised his head. Was it the touch, or Oliver’s dreamy eyes? Trevor didn’t know, but he felt his lips curling into a smile. “Your nostrils flare when you’re angry. I never noticed that before.”

“That’s because this is the first time I’ve ever been mad at you,” Oliver said, smirking.

Trevor, chuckling, matched Oliver’s pressure. They’d never really argued, never let things stick to them. Four years after their first date, they were like newlyweds who couldn’t get enough of each other. Life was perfect. Absolutely perfect. At least until his mother-in-law’s last visit.

“Your mother’s a battle-axe.” Trevor pulled his hands out of Oliver’s loosening grasp, then set his satchel on the floor. “Maybe I should have come back sooner. Maybe I shouldn’t have left at all, but your mother … she’s —”

“Impossible,” Oliver broke in, making a play for Trevor’s hand. “It took me a while to see that.”

“‘Impossible’ isn’t exactly the word I was going to use.”

“I know.” Oliver winked, wrapped his arm around Trevor’s waist and led him into the living room. They sat down on the sofa, their legs touching. Oliver placed his hand on Trevor’s knee. “I am not ashamed of you,” he said with emphasis. “I hope you know that.”

Trevor shook his head. “I know. I’m sorry I said that.”

“You’re the man I love.” Oliver leaned in and pressed his lips to Trevor’s, held them there briefly, then pulled back. “And no matter how angry my mother makes you, or if I do something that pisses you off … please don’t ever leave like that again. I was sick every night not knowing if you were going to come back.”

“Then let’s make a deal,” Trevor said.

Oliver brushed his dark wavy hair out of his face. “A deal?”

“I won’t leave again, if you don’t ever invite your mother to stay the night without discussing it with me first.”

Oliver held out his hand. “Deal.”

Trevor, accepting the handshake, found himself being pulled forward. The next thing he felt was Oliver’s mouth on his. As their tongues danced, he wrapped his arms around Oliver and drew him tight. Their bodies shifted and, working to stretch out on the sofa, they fell onto the floor and started laughing.

Oliver climbed on top of Trevor. “We’re good?”

“We’re good.” Trevor touched his hand to the side of Oliver’s stubbly face. “I love you.”

“I’m glad because…” Oliver leaned forward and whispered into Trevor’s ear, “Mom’s coming over for dinner.”

Trevor shoved Oliver off him and shot up off the floor. He charged into the foyer and stabbed his feet into his shoes.

“Trevor…” Oliver rushed to Trevor and pinned him against the wall. “God, I was kidding.”

Trevor raised an eyebrow. “You think that’s funny?”

“Kind of,” Oliver said, smirking.

“You’re incorrigible.”

Oliver smiled. “That’s why you love me so.”

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: amwriting, compromise, family, fiction, fridayfiction, indieauthors, lgbtq, love, mother-in-law, patience, relationships, shortstory, understanding, writing

The Visit

February 2, 2018 by Marcus 2 Comments

Trevor, seated on the living room sofa reading, looked up from his book when the doorbell sounded. His wide camel-brown eyes sidled the clock on the mantelpiece. Twelve minutes past eleven on Saturday morning and he wasn’t expecting anyone. He kept reading until he heard the thunder of feet barreling down the staircase and shifted his focus to the front hall.

“Oh, how marvellous,” the nasal voice said. “You’re home.”

Trevor closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. Oh, dear Lord … not today, was his silent supplication. He opened his eyes, folded down the top corner of the page to mark his spot and closed the book. He shook his head when the tall brunette entered the living room, offering that goofy smile that even after four years still made him feel buttery inside. “Oliver —”

“Look who’s here,” Oliver said nervously when the silver-haired woman appeared at his side.

Trevor placed his book down on the coffee table, stood and crossed to the woman. “Always a delight, Phyllis.” He kissed her lightly on the cheek.

“You’re a terrible liar,” Phyllis said dryly, then turned to Oliver. “Could I trouble you for a cup of tea?”

“Sure,” Oliver said and bolted for the kitchen.

“You know how I like it,” she called out after him.

Trevor thrust himself back onto the sofa. “With a dash of cyanide.”

“Ha-ha.” Phyllis lowered herself onto the other matching sofa. “We should try to get along, especially if this thing between you and my son is going to go on for a while.”

“You mean we should pretend to get along.” Trevor reached for his book and flipped it open. “I’m okay with not liking each other. That’d mean we wouldn’t have to speak to each other, right?”

“I don’t understand why you don’t like me,” Phyllis snapped.

The book slipped through Trevor’s fingers and onto his lap. “You don’t understand why I don’t like you?”

“I’ve been nothing but kind —”

“Kind?” Trevor howled. “That from the woman who said to Oliver, when he first brought me home to meet you, ‘Why are you dating a black man?’”

“Well, I … it was a shock.”

“Was it still the shock when you organized a surprise party for Oliver’s thirtieth birthday and didn’t invite me?” He rolled his eyes as Phyllis just sat there, her shifty ice blue eyes roving the room. “We’d been living together for two years.”

“That’s not how I remember it,” Phyllis shot back.

Trevor sucked his teeth. “Of course not.”

“My other sons and daughters-in-law adore me.”

Trevor, trying to tamp down his urge to laugh, dropped his head.

“Just the other day Laura told me that I was her favourite mother-in-law.”

Trevor looked up, an eyebrow raised. “How many mothers-in-law has Laura had?”

“How droll.” Phyllis adjusted the silk scarf around her neck. “How come I’ve never met your parents?”

Trevor bristled. “Would you want to? I mean, they’re black like me.”

“Trevor!” Oliver cried as he came into the room.

“If you’re serious about meeting them,” Trevor said, trying to suppress his smirk, “they’re in the urn on the mantelpiece.”

“Trevor…” Oliver sounded exasperated. He handed the teacup and saucer to his mother. “Just the way you like it.” He moved around to the other sofa, sat down next to Trevor and stared questioningly at his mother. “So?”

“It’s delightful,” Phyllis said after sipping her tea.

Oliver scratched his forehead. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh…” Phyllis blinked magnificently. “Well, sometimes, that man is impossible.”

“Ha!” Trevor slapped his hand on his thigh and couldn’t stifle his cackling laugh.

Oliver drove his elbow into Trevor’s side. “What did Dad do this time?”

“Do?” Phyllis shook her head violently. “He doesn’t do anything but sit in front of the TV. So I left. Now I need a place to stay.”

Oliver swallowed repeatedly. “You want to stay here?”

“Your other siblings…” Phyllis’s voice cracked. “They said it would be … inconvenient.”

“Ha!” Trevor leaned forward, his sides cramping and tears in his eyes.

“Stop that,” Oliver said through gritted teeth.

Phyllis set the cup and saucer on the coffee table. “It’ll probably be inconvenient for you, too.”

“Mom…” Oliver touched his hand to Trevor’s thigh. “Of course you can stay with us.”

Trevor sat up straight, his eyes wild and locked on Oliver. “Really?”

“She’s my mother,” Oliver said in a whisper. “I just can’t —”

Trevor waved him off. “I need a drink.” He stormed out of the room.

“I’ve never really liked him,” Phyllis said when she was alone with Oliver.

Oliver flicked his eyebrows. “I think the feeling’s mutual.”

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: amwriting, family, fiction, flashfiction, fridayfiction, indieauthors, lgbtq, love, mother-in-law, relationships, shortstory, writing

Velocity

January 12, 2018 by Marcus Leave a Comment

Wednesday, 7:59 am. I wait inside the Queen and Providence bus shelter for Bus 43 (Belmont Hills – Downtown), which ferries me to work. The rain falls against the dark grey skies. A silver-haired woman paces the sidewalk outside the bus shelter, scrunching her hawkish eyebrows as she complains to Bob and Mary and Ethel that the bus is late. She’s there every morning but never gets on the bus. Did I mention that I’m the only one at the bus stop with her? Yesterday, in deep conversation with Mary about Bob’s recurring sexual dysfunction, her top dentures flew out of her mouth and bounced into the storm drain. She reached into her black shopping bag-size purse and pulled out another set as if this happens to her all the time.

The bus arrives a few minutes past eight. I display my pass for inspection and offer a faint smile to the grey-haired bus driver.

The bus driver snarls and closes the door. “Next time hold it up so I can see it.”

I roll my eyes and take my usual seat that faces into the bus to have more legroom.

At the next stop, the young man wearing the blue baseball cap gets on first. When the bus driver scolds him for not holding up his bus pass, he says, “Yo, dude … your wife still not giving it up?” He grabs his crotch. “Maes-tǝr-beit!” He slams himself into the seat before the rear door, next to the man wearing a bowtie, and sucks his teeth. “Loser…”

The smells of wet earth, coffee and stale cigarette smoke (from the guy seated close to me) overtake the bus. The young man wearing a charcoal grey mackintosh studies me with adolescent curiosity. I travel with the same people every day. They get on and off the bus like corpses — stiff and unconscious of the world around them. We don’t say hello, don’t speak. My eyes rove the bus to avoid direct eye contact with anyone, anticipating the War Memorial that signals the approaching bus stop where I get off.

“Good morning, Mr. Bus Driver. How are you this fine wet day?”

I shift my gaze to the front of the bus, blinded by a shiny jacket with floral patterns enveloping a big-boned woman. Her black frizzy hair shoots out in all directions from her round head. The rouge smeared on her face cements in place the smile stretching from ear to ear.

“Next time hold it up so I can see it,” the bus driver says as he closes the front door.

The woman’s round eyes widen but she’s still smiling. “Oh, yes, we are chipper this morning!” She scans the bus for a seat.

The young man in the charcoal grey mackintosh and a middle-aged woman wearing a cadmium yellow raincoat occupy the seats at the front of the bus, reserved for the elderly and pregnant women. They move. A couple of people snicker, both amused and annoyed at how this woman — with her over-enthusiastic and narcissistic Guy Smiley smile — has managed to disrupt the peacefulness of their morning commute.

“Thank you, thank you,” says the woman in the shiny jacket. “So kind, so kind.”

The young man in the charcoal grey mackintosh sits down across from me, smirks and holds his narrow eyes to mine. I glance away when his light-grey eyes penetrate to my core. The middle-aged woman squeezes between the stale cigarette smoke-smelling man and me. The scent of Bengay and cinnamon fill my nostrils, and I tie my face in knots. The young man across from me sniggers. I check my watch. I need off this bus. I’m relieved to see the flag hoisted atop the War Memorial. Freedom from this hell is two stops away.

The bus stops for a red light at the Marshall and Providence intersection. I move to the rear door and, when the bus edges forward, reach for the blue cord above the head of the young man wearing the charcoal grey mackintosh. Before I can pull the cord he presses the red square button on the pole in front of him and nods. The bus stops, and the green light above the door comes on. I step into the torrential rain and, having left my umbrella at home, bolt toward the seven-storey office building across the street.

*          *          *

“Good afternoon,” the bus driver says as I board Bus 43 (Downtown – Belmont Hills) at ten minutes to five. He closes the door and sings off-key into the intercom, “Next stop, Marshall and Providence, next stop.” Today he sings to the theme music from “I Dream of Jeannie.” Yesterday, he sang-spoke a slightly modified version to “Old MacDonald had a Farm.” Everyone chuckles, and then we return to our self-imposed meditative states.

I wedge myself into the two-seater behind the seats reserved for the elderly and pregnant women, and stare out the window at the pewter skies.

The stout man next to me, with a Sherlock Holmes-esque moustache, reeks of Old Spice and alcohol. Is that what makes his bald head oily? He speaks with a thick lisp. “Eth-cuz me.” He pulls the blue cord. He doesn’t have any teeth. My wide-eyed look of horror causes the young man from this morning, in the charcoal grey mackintosh, to cover his mouth to stifle his giggling. I smile. The young man rocks gently back and forth, ready to explode with laughter. Then the young woman seated across the aisle (quite the sight with her spiked dyed black hair and piercings in her lip, nose and eyebrow) snickers. The man sitting next to me staggers off the bus at the next stop. Before the bus driver can close the door the young man in the charcoal grey mackintosh lets out a shrilly laugh, and everyone gawks at him. He colours and lowers his head.

The bus stops at the War Memorial, and that shiny jacket with floral patterns mounts the steps one at a time. Mrs. Guy Smiley says, with the same cheerfulness of the morning, “Good afternoon, Mr. Bus Driver. How are you this fine wet day?”

“This is the day that the Lord has made,” the bus driver sings-speaks. “Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

She places her hand to her chest and grins. “Oh, indeed … indeed.”

The young man in the charcoal grey mackintosh, at hearing that manly voice and set to erupt in another fit of laughter, moves to the empty seat next to me. He’s bent forward with his head between his knees, trying not to laugh.

Mrs. Guy Smiley turns to the young man. “Thank you, thank you. So kind, so kind.”

The young man waves her off and, after a time, sits upright. I sneak a sidelong glance and decide that he’s about thirty, his dark full mane covering the top of his ears and falling flat on the back of his neck. He has a long hooked nose with prominent nostrils and does not wear a ring on his ring finger. He looks at me, his clean-shaven face red from laughing, and I drop my gaze.

The bus hasn’t moved in some time, parked midway across the MacKenzie Bridge that spans the Stockdale River and that separates the downtown from the suburbs. I get off at the first stop after the bus crosses the bridge. In the morning, the young man in the charcoal grey mackintosh gets on the bus at the stop with the gentleman in the blue baseball cap. Did his uncontrollable fits of laughter cause him to miss his stop? Everyone stares out the windows as sirens blare and emergency response vehicles navigate through the bumper-to-bumper traffic. The rain, which had stopped around lunchtime, falls in hard pounding sheets, preventing us from seeing much of anything. The young man leans across in front of me to peer out the window, his left hand on my right thigh to balance himself. I savour his musky scent of lavender and vanilla.

“Sorry.” The young man leans back in his seat. “Do you think it’s an accident?”

I shrug. “Nah. Probably another jumper.” Four successful, and one not-so-successful, suicide attempts this year make the conclusion plausible.

Mrs. Guy Smiley stiffens. “Oh, really? How exciting! I’ve never seen a jumper before.”

I look at her, my eyebrows scrunched, as if to say, “Are you for real?” The young man next to me approaches delirium. I cut my eyes at him. “You need to get off this bus.”

He howls. “I know!”

Mrs. Guy Smiley shimmers in her seat. “I sure would like some of your happy pills.”

The girl with the spiked dyed black hair loses control, and her nasal, cackling laugh ricochets off the walls. Laughter consumes us all.

The bus rolls forward and we resume our self-imposed meditative states. I pull on the blue cord and the bell sounds. The young man next to me walks towards the front door. I follow. Mrs. Guy Smiley smiles at us. The young man in the charcoal grey mackintosh again waves her off, attempting to hold in his crowing laugh. I nod. The bus stops, and the young man rushes onto the sidewalk and opens his umbrella. I run to the bus shelter and take refuge, hoping the rain will let up soon.

The young man waits to cross the street. He looks at me, almost smiling, and then darts through the oncoming traffic to catch the bus approaching in the opposite direction. I watch as he sits down next to a window at the back of the bus. He looks in my direction and offers a slight wave as the bus pulls away. Could it be an acknowledgement of our interconnectedness? Maybe.

I sprint towards my apartment building when the rain lets up a bit. The young man and the others on the bus — maybe we are connected, part of each other’s fabric, entangled in an intricate net of relationships. What will the young man in the charcoal grey mackintosh do tonight? Does he have someone waiting for him at home? I thought that we lived separate orders or reality — until today — when we found our velocity.

Perhaps tomorrow we’ll say hello.

 

A slightly modified version of this story first appeared in the Fall issue of Other Voices Magazine in 2010.

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: amwriting, fiction, indieauthors, shortstory, writing

When Love Falls

January 5, 2018 by Marcus Leave a Comment

“I know it sounds crazy,” Sam said, his gaze locked on the duck confit he’d barely touched.

“Sounds crazy?” Nancy asked, the contempt rippling through her usually silvery voice. “It is crazy. And stupid.”

“But what am I supposed to do? I mean, I don’t want —”

“Don’t say it,” Nancy broke in. “Don’t you dare say you don’t want to lose him.”

“I don’t…” Sam looked up, tears banking in his round brown eyes. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“Give me strength, Lord … give me strength.” Nancy turned to her right and swatted at the dark-haired man seated next to her. “Isaac, please … a little help here.”

“Look, Sam…” Isaac rolled his muscular shoulders and didn’t look right at Sam but in his direction. “It’s not that you’ll lose Mark. You’ve already lost him. Deep down, you know it’s true.”

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but the words clung to the back of his throat. As much as he wanted to protest, he couldn’t. Isaac and Nancy, his friends since university, had always been honest with him … even when it hurt. But he wasn’t ready to give up, to walk out on the man who’d shown him the pathway to love.

“Maybe I should just … give it a try,” Sam said weakly.

“It’s not love,” Nancy said with disgust.

“I’m with Nancy on this.” Isaac finally looked Sam square in the eyes. “It can’t possibly work. And you won’t be happy.”

“If Ron came home,” Nancy said after draining her gin and tonic, “and said he wanted his mistress to move in with us…” She sat back in her chair and threw Sam a knowing look. “He’d be out on his fine ass like that.” She snapped her fingers.

Sam rubbed his eye. “Mark says —”

“He’ll say anything to get you on his side,” Nancy said bluntly. “He’s playing you.”

“He’s not playing me,” Sam spat.

“He’s not…” Nancy’s voice pitched high and, with disbelief blazing in her azure blue eyes, she stood. “I’m going to the ladies’ room.” She slapped Isaac’s arm. “You better have talked some sense into him by the time I get back.”

When Nancy was gone, Isaac shifted into the chair she’d vacated to sit directly across from Sam. “We’re your friends, Sam, and we care about you. We can’t tell you want to do, but…” He reached across the table and briefly held his hand to Sam’s. “Mark cheated on you, and as much as you try to pretend like you’re not fazed by it, you are. I see it. I see the dead in your eyes. And the solution isn’t to let the other man move in.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Sam said, unable to stop the tears streaking down his face.

“Take a stand,” Isaac said. “Put yourself first because you deserve better.”

Nancy, back at the table, slid onto the bench next to Sam and held his hand. Then she trained her gaze at Isaac. “He’d never be in this mess if you had —”

“Don’t go there, Nancy,” Isaac cut in.

“I’m just saying that the two of you…” She pointed to the two men. “Oh, for Christ’s sake, Isaac … just tell him.”

Sam pulled his hand out of Nancy’s loose grasp and rubbed his forehead. “What’s she talking about now?”

“Nothing,” Isaac grunted.

“No, no, this has to stop.” Nancy leaned back, her eyes locked on Sam as she pointed at Isaac. “He loves you. He’s always been in love with you.”

“Fuck you, Nancy. Fuck you!” Isaac pushed back his chair and bolted from the table.

Sam turned to Nancy. “Why? Why would you do that?”

“Whenever something goes wrong, who do you call first?” Nancy raised an eyebrow. “When your car broke down last month, you called Isaac. When you broke your leg last year, you called Isaac to pick you up from the hospital. When your mother died, who did you call to drive you to the airport?” She made a play for his hand and held it tightly. “And he came … every time to support you. No matter what, no matter, no questions asked. Why didn’t you ever call Mark?”

Sam dropped his head.

Nancy squeezed Sam’s hand, let go and stood. “When you wake up from this nightmare, you’ll see that you deserve better. And you won’t get any better than Isaac. I’m going to find him and sweet-talk my way back into his good graces.” She winked and moved off.

Sam sat there, still, as Nancy’s words reverberated through his thoughts. He loves you. He’s always been in love with you. But that’s crazy. Isaac and me, we’re just… Sam’s body went rigid. Nancy was right. Every time he was in trouble, Isaac had bailed him out. Always. An acidic taste edged its way up his throat. That was a sign of a shift and he knew it. God, I’m such a fool! He leaned forward, rested his elbows on the table and hid his face in his hands. His world had just imploded, and he wasn’t sure — when the dust had settled and all the shrapnel had been removed — if he’d survive.

“Sam…”

Sam, slow to uncover his face, recognized that husky voice. He levelled his gaze on the black-haired beauty standing on the other side of the table. “Mark … what are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” Mark said, pulled out a chair and sat down.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Sam said, surprised by the confidence surging in his voice.

“I love —”

“You don’t love me. If you did, I’d be enough. And your kind of love I can do without.” Sam stood and started to walk away.

“Sam, don’t —”

Sam surprisingly found himself flipping Mark the bird.

Maybe he’d survive this after all.

Filed Under: Short Stories Tagged With: amwriting, betrayal, brokenheart, fiction, flashfiction, friendship, gayfiction, indieauthors, love, mmromance, read, romance, shortstory, story

Looking Back, Looking Forward

December 28, 2017 by Marcus 2 Comments

Whether it’s at Christmas or at any other time in the year, when I tell people I’m going to Port Colborne, the immediate question that follows is: where’s that? I tell them it’s not far from Niagara Falls and, unless they’re familiar with the area, they nod accordingly. It’s clear, though, by the stunned look still twisted into their faces that they really have no idea where it is. And that’s okay.

If I hadn’t met my partner, I wouldn’t have known where Port Colborne was on a map or that it even existed. It’s a city where, usually around major holidays like Christmas and schedule permitting, I get to escape the hustle and bustle of life in Toronto. It’d be unfair to say that there’s not a lot to do there. There are various events and activities throughout the year, and I’ve discovered Lucy’s Café — a wonderful Italian restaurant where the likes of Pierre Elliot Trudeau dined. But I don’t do much when I’m in Port Colborne. Not because I don’t want to, but because my partner and his family love routine. And heaven forbid anyone dares to break it.

So when I’m in Port Colborne (like I was over Christmas), it’s a time when I can disconnect from the world. My body decides to almost conk out. While I can never manage to nap in Toronto, there I spend the days trying to keep my eyes open. I’m convinced that, away from city life, my body tries to get me to slow down. And I resist at every turn.

But while I was in Port Colborne this last time, my body went into slow-mode. And I found myself thinking about the year that was.

The Year in Review

2017 was a big year for me. The journey was long, and at times uncertain, but a good year overall.

Actually, it’s been a phenomenal year as I ventured into the self-publishing world with the launch of The Flowers Need Watering back in February. Becoming an indie author, I’ve learned a lot about the self-publishing industry and myself. I know the journey is far from over. In fact, it’s only just begun.

With The Flowers Need Watering published, I then turned my attention to the rewrite of another novel-length manuscript, Freestyle Love (more on that below).

In the kitchen earlier this year. The braised duck leg was delicious!

I tried hard in 2017 to do the things I love because, as Lauren Vanderkam reminded us, “When we focus on what matters, we can build the lives we want, in the time we’ve got.” So I spent a lot of time honing my culinary skills, creating mouth-watering dishes for me and my partner to enjoy. Admittedly, my partner wasn’t too keen on everything I prepared, so I just started telling him it was chicken or beef. (Imagine, now, his unknown love for venison and bison!)

Recovering after the MEC 10K Series Race on October 29, 2017.

I also upped my running game — increasing my distance, improving my pace and running my first 10k race since 2010. While I didn’t achieve a personal best (I came close), I felt energized. I stayed active this year, running at least two times a week (often more). I kept pushing myself, and it paid off.

Yes, 2017 was a big year for me because I kept writing — despite the jet lag, despite the doubt that tried to silence me, despite when life interrupted. I wrote. Every day. And that proves that I’m still heeding the call of what it is I feel compelled to do.

2018: Looking Ahead to an Exciting Year

A ‘New’ Book: I’m gearing up for the rerelease of Freestyle Love, which was originally published in 2011. I learned a hard lesson with Freestyle Love, one that, thankfully, I wouldn’t repeat with The Flowers Need Watering: the importance of a professional editor. In reviewing the manuscript for The Flowers Need Watering, my editor hit on all the big-ticket items — character and plot development, structure, continuity, story arc, theme development, repetition and plot holes. He didn’t only point out what wasn’t working, but also what worked well. Through that process I realized something else. Maybe Freestyle Love, despite what I thought at the time, wasn’t my best effort. Now I knew I could do better. So I decided to try.

The release date for Freestyle Love has yet to be finalized, but I’ll keep you posted.

Twitter Fiction Tuesdays (#TwitFicTues): I’ll be continuing my popular Twitter Fiction Tuesdays series that explore the short story in 280 characters (or less). Join me Tuesdays at 12:00 pm (EST) by following me (@MMarcusALopes) on Twitter or by searching the hashtag #TwitFicTues.

Flash Fiction: In November, I began publishing short fiction pieces on my website. Appearing at least twice a month, these short fiction pieces make for a quick, intriguing read in 1,000 words or less. This series will relaunch in January. Stop by my website – www.marcuslopes.ca – to check them out.

A Final Note

As 2017 draws to a close, I want to thank you all for being a part of my creative journey. The road has not been easy, but I am grateful to you — everyone — who has supported and encouraged me along the way. I am where I am because of you, and I am eternally grateful.

Once again, thank you for being a part of my journey. From my house to yours, I wish you a Happy New Year filled with peace, joy, love and happiness!

Marcus

 

Filed Under: Writing Life Tagged With: 2017, cooking, dreams, indieauthors, running, writers, writerslife, writing

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