Writing Off the Grid

Finish something.

And so I did. Finish something, that is.

Earlier this week, I completed the rewrite of a novel that I hope to publish in 2018. I heaved a huge sigh of relief because the rewrite had been long and hard. There were times when I wasn’t sure I’d finish, when I wasn’t sure I had it in me to finish. But I kept pushing forward, determined to see the rewrite through to the end.

Now I’m spent, and I don’t quite know how to move forward.

It’s not a new feeling. I’ve completed large projects before throughout my creative journey. A series of paintings, other novel-length manuscripts, musical compositions — and I’ve always felt restless afterwards. I think it’s because I’ve invested so much time in them and they become my life. When they’re done, it feels almost like I’ve lost a part of myself. It feels like I’m living in a fog.

This time it feels a little different, and I’m not sure why. Or maybe I do. Maybe I’m already running ahead to the future and worrying about if the writing is good enough. Will it stand up in the long term? How will critics react to it? Did I accomplish what I set out to achieve?

I reached out on Twitter to see if other writers experienced something similar. I quickly learned that I wasn’t alone, and many offered advice on how to keep moving: Start on another writing project right away. Read a book. Take a break. All good options.

I’m learning to take it day by day.

Out for a run this morning, I felt that fog beginning to lift, that feeling of restlessness beginning to ebb. And here I am writing again, and that feels good.

On a day like today, I remind myself that a career in the arts takes faith and courage. I must believe in myself, and have faith that I can succeed and remain faithful to the cause. I know that I have to just begin somewhere, and then let myself be guided. That’s faith. I have travelled down this road before and survived, and I will no doubt see this road again. That’s courage. Nevertheless, in this moment, I’m looking for a way to shake off this restlessness, peel away the doubt. This act of writing is helping to do that, telling me to begin where I am, and the rest will follow.

How do you feel after you’ve finished a creative project? How do you keep moving forward? Let me know in the comments section below.

On Sunday, I returned from a six-day trip to Santiago, Chile. I had a great time, and now I’m working to settle back into my routine. Feeling a little fatigued, a lot of things feel “harder” than usual. Like writing. Tired, I’m judging my writing more harshly than I would normally. Tired, I’m frustrated with my level of productivity. Again, I’m being unusually hard on myself. It’s all because I’m restless, and that can throw me off my game. I don’t want that. I don’t want restlessness to tackle me the way the ball carrier in a game of rugby is brought to the ground. If that happens, I risk being caught somewhere between the mountain and the valley, stuck. Immobile. I want to keep moving. I want to get my groove on.

After letting my novel rest for a bit, I’m back to work on it. It’s a long and daunting process, but I know the effort I’m putting in will be worth it in the end. Some chapters are holding up really well while others require small tweaks here and there. But it’s all coming together, slowly but surely. And I feel like I am inching my way back up the mountain. I’m making progress.

I’m working to finish something because I know how good that feels. Amazing! Maybe you can relate… As a writer, I often find myself trying to juggle multiple writing projects. It’s that back and forth between projects that can break my focus, particularly when I’m in the middle of rewriting a novel. I try to tell myself, “Worry about the short story or essay later. Finish what you’ve started.” But there’s something novel about starting a new piece, or going back to another that’s spent the last three months in a drawer collecting dust.

Finishing something — seeing a novel or a short story come full circle — gives perspective. A completed project offers reassurance, when doubt lingers large and heavy, that I am in fact on the right path. I’m reminded that I have heeded the call of what it is I feel compelled to do in life. Yes, finishing something reinforces — in the face of rejection — the artist in me. It doesn’t matter what my day job is, the finished novel says to me, “I am a writer.”

Finishing something also says to me, whether I’m restless or surviving a long period of drought, that I’ve shown up at the page and dared to be faithful to who I am. I’ve succeeded in navigating through whatever hurdles that stood before me. It proves that I am resilient.

What are you working on at the moment? What have you finished lately? What do you do to remain resilient on your artistic journey? Let me know in the comments section below.

Thanks for reading and being a part of my writing journey!

The other morning as I went for a run, I had to battle gusty winds that would, later in the day, cancel certain flights to the East Coast. Although I ran along a fairly flat surface, it felt like I was running uphill. It was also the day after I’d participated in a 10K race, and my legs were still burning. Despite my determination to push on, the winds got the better of me. After 1.5 km, I did a U-turn and headed home, feeling somewhat defeated.

The day, however, wasn’t all doom and gloom. The short run had me pumped, and once I was showered and dressed, I sat down at my desk to write. October 31, 2017 was my self-imposed deadline to complete the rewrite of a novel-length manuscript, and momentum was on my side. By the time I broke for lunch, the rewrite was done. The journey felt at times long and lonely, but I had finished something. And that felt good. Amazing, actually.

But not running as far as I’d wanted, finishing the rewrite … these are teachable moments along my artistic journey. I try to keep myself open to such lessons in the hope that they will guide me in the future, help me to move confidently in the direction of my dreams. I’m reminded that not all days go smoothly, or have a natural ebb and flow. Some days (I like to believe it’s most days, really), writing seems easy and everything flows. Other days spiral out of control — procrastination reigns, life interrupts and I feel stuck, like I’m going nowhere fast.

To keep the momentum moving forward, this is what I do:

Write Daily: No matter where I find myself in the world — Vancouver, London, Mainz, at home — I make time to write. Sometimes it’s an hour, other times it’s only twenty minutes. But I write. And writing daily keeps me current.

Don’t Take “No” for an Answer: Every artist knows that rejection is part of the process. As a writer, I’ve learned the importance of persistence. Sometimes I’ve had to submit a piece of writing many, many, many times before it was accepted for publication. But I believed in the work, in the story, so I became even more determined to find the story or essay a home with each rejection letter I received. I don’t let rejection overwhelm me. I let rejection be a muse.

Finish Something: Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by so many ideas that it’s tempting to toss aside the current work-in-progress and plunge straight into a new idea. What I’ve learned to do is keep notes on new ideas and keep them for a rainy day. Finishing something — a novel, a short story, a blog post — feels good. The completed project offers reassurance, when doubt lingers large and heavy, that I am in fact on the right path. I’m reminded that I have heeded the call of what it is I feel compelled to do in life. Finishing something reinforces — in the face of rejection and the resulting doubt about my talent that may manifest — the artist in me. The finished novel or short story says, loud and clear, “I’m an artist, hear me roar!”

Godsends: It’s important for me to be surrounded by people who support and encourage me. I call these friends my godsends, spread out across North America and Europe, who are friends to me and my writing. Godsends send an e-mail or call to say how proud they are of me. They reach out to me (without asking) at a time when I need encouragement the most. They are, as Julia Cameron puts it, a “believing mirror” whose support is constant.

Believe: I believe in myself and my talent as an artist. I believe that I can do great things, that I will succeed. And that belief holds me accountable, sends me daily to the page.

These five things help to set me up for success. And that’s why I take to heart the words of Audre Lorde: “When I dare to be powerful — to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

Have you finished something lately? How did that make you feel? Do you have “believing mirrors” in your life? When was the last time one of them reached out to you when you needed encouragement the most? Do you believe in yourself? Are you doing the one thing you think you cannot do? Let me know in the comments section below.

It’s Monday morning, and I returned a short time ago from my run. Since my vacation at the end of September that stretched into the middle of October, I’ve been getting up around 4:30. (All my life I’ve been, bon gré mal gré, a morning person.) I love the quietness of that time of day when I can actually hear myself think. Getting up early, I start the day by writing my Morning Pages, then head out for a run. In the middle of September, I was inspired by a colleague (he’s completed the Iron Man Triathlon) to challenge myself more when it came to running. I’d been in a “rut” of putting in four-kilometre runs. Working slowly but steadily, I increased my distance from four to ten kilometre; the latter has now become my minimum running distance.

At this point, maybe you’re asking, “What’s the point?”

The point is this. For me, there are a lot of parallels between running and writing. To improve in both, you have to show up regularly. Depending on my work schedule, I run four to five times a week. I write every day. There are days when I don’t feel like writing or running, or when the writing feels stale or that I’m running uphill. There are days when I don’t feel like I have the courage, or the will, to carry on. There are days when I doubt my talent as a writer and my ability as a runner. I forget just how far I’ve come over the years.

My runs the last two days weren’t easy. My legs felt like lead about midway through, and there were moments when I considered stopping and walking the rest of the way home. But I didn’t. I dug deep and kept going. When I think about giving up, when I’m not sure I have the courage to go on, there are certain quotes that inspire me and keep me motivated. Today, I wanted to share a few of them with you:

“The world belongs to those who think and act with it, who keep a finger on its pulse.” – William R. Inge

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” – Gail Devers

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” – Oprah Winfrey

“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” – Dolly Parton

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France

Now, I’ve already chased away my Monday morning blues. I’ll be brave and keep on doing what it is that I love to do. What about you?

When you’re in need of a little dose of inspiration or motivation, what do you do? Do you have a favourite quote or quotes that you turn to? Let me know in the comments section below.